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Episode #2 - Memes Come True Part One Scene: the werkroom, after Amanda’s elimination. The queens filter in, relieved to be back but sad to see their first sister leave. Big Dee reads out the message that Amanda left in lipstick on the mirror: “Jeans are not for glamour queens! Carry on dreaming my girls... I've banged you once and I'll bang you again. xo Amanda.” “Who knew that drag queens could spell?” Big Dee laughs as she wipes the lipstick off. The queens then turn to Yvie and congratulate her on surviving the lip sync. Yvie herself confesses that she’s starting to feel more like a member of the group now, but knows she can’t begin to get comfortable, “not in this little game.” As Cookie (having checked herself for splinters) runs around the werkroom slapping Rafaella on the bottom with Yvie’s towel, the queens also congratulate a joyful Eva on winning the first maxi challenge of the season, although Jessica remains silent. “I’ll be honest, I thought I had that in the bag,” Jessica says in a confessional. “My look was so much more detailed than Eva's and I was actually pretty shocked when Ru called her name instead of mine. But you know, it’s a long season, and we’ll see which of us has the last laugh in the end. Game on, squirrel friend.” The next morning, the queens gather for a brand new day of drag, and to celebrate the occasion, Valentine does a forward roll into the werkroom. They’re met there by boy Ru, who announces this week’s mini challenge: in teams, the queens must get into quick drag and recreate some famous dramatic Drag Race moments. The queens are allowed to pick their own teams: Eva, Drü and Lady Boi team up, Honey and Nicole run straight towards each other and rope in Cookie to make three, Big Dee, Jessica and VinChelle link arms and Bombalicious, Rafaella, Valentine and Yvie, realising they’re the ones left, have no choice but to make the fourth team. “Maybe I’m not such a part of the group after all,” mumbles a dejected Yvie. The scenes are as follows:
After each group performs their scenes, Ru gathers the girls and announces that the winners are Team Cookie, Honey and Nicole. At this moment, the real Mimi Imfurst bursts into the werkroom and demands royalties for the use of her likeness. |
Episode #2 - Memes Come True Part Two Ru then announces that, of their team, Cookie and Nicole stood out especially, and that they will therefore be the two competing team captains in this week’s main challenge: an ever-so-slightly self-referential lip sync musical extravaganza paying tribute to some of the best-known RuPaul’s Drag Race memes. Ru announces that each queen will play a different Drag Race character, and that as team captains, it was up to Cookie and Nicole to pick their teams. As the MVP in the mini challenge, Nicole would get to choose first, and therefore have an extra member in her team. The teams, in the order that they’re chosen, are as follows: Team Nicole Nicole Lynn Foxxx Honey Davenport Valentine Addams Eva Young Big Dee Yvie Oddly Drü Holiday Team Cookie Cookie Kunty Rafaella Pop Jessica L’Whor VinChelle Lady Boi Bombalicious Eklaver Drü says in a confessional that she isn’t sure why she was picked last. “Maybe it’s because I’m young. Maybe it’s because I don’t lip sync as much as the other queens. Maybe they just don’t like my makeup. Whatever it is, now’s the perfect opportunity to stand out.” She, Yvie and Eva high five as they get to work learning their team’s script and assigning the roles. Nicole takes her leadership position seriously, and quickly gives each queen her character before asking if anyone has any complaints. Everyone seems happy, especially Honey with her role of Latrice Royale (“yaaaaaas!”), although Big Dee later takes Valentine aside and whispers if she noticed if it was odd that Nicole immediately took the biggest role, Jasmine Masters, for herself. “To be fair, I’d do the same thing if I were her,” Valentine replies. “Get them coins, bitch.” Over on the other team, Cookie decides to let the queens chose their roles for themselves, which leads to some confusion when both Jessica and Lady Boi go for the role of Valentina. Jessica tries to convince Lady Boi to allow her the role by shouting “IT’S ME, BALENTINA!” in her best worst Spanish accent, but eventually backs down and begrudgingly accepts the role of Phi Phi O’Hara. At the same time, Bombalicious is sat giving her team stink eye, possibly in frustration with their time-wasting but also with her role of Thorgy Thor (“I wanted Laganja Estranja, she has a much better part”, she explains in a confessional, and now has her script face down on the table in protest). Once roles have been assigned and lines have been learnt, the teams take to the main stage to rehearse the choreography for their respective numbers. There, they are met by the dancing queen of Texas, Kennedy Davenport, who is ready to teach them their routines. First up are Team Cookie, and all goes relatively well until Bombalicious’ solo segment, where it becomes clear that she hasn’t memorised her part as well as the other girls. “It’ll come to me,” a somewhat bored-looking Bombalicious keeps saying, before Kennedy snaps. “Nah bitch, this ain’t the time for it to come to you. You gotta be ready now,” she says, staring intensely at Bombalicious as she does so. Lady Boi follows on from Bombalicious and shows her how it should be done, with Jessica watching on from the sidelines, looking a tad jealous that she isn’t Valentina. Once the team finish, VinChelle says that Bombalicious needs to put her personal peeves aside and find a way to bring it on the night, or she could sink the whole team with her attitude. “I don’t want some Titanic situation up in here! I don’t want to be no Kate Winslet!” Team Nicole are next, and Big Dee confesses that although choreography isn’t her strong suit and she’s slightly afraid of messing up in the group routine, her solo segment requires minimal movement, so “fingers crossed the judges just look at that and don’t pay attention to the rest of it.” Yvie, determined to impress after last week, shows Kennedy some improvised choreography that she thought she’d bring to her role of Coco Montrese, and gets the thumbs up. Kennedy also gets her life from Nicole’s Jasmine Masters, during which Big Dee and Valentine share a knowing look. However, Kennedy asks Valentine to give a “larger than life” performance of Stacy Layne Matthews, “because at the moment I’m getting Stacy Layne Matth-snooze.” Finally, the time comes to rehearse the group segment. Most of the queens show themselves to be capable of the fast choreography, but as she feared, Big Dee falls behind, and loses her place in the routine completely when she manages to kick her shoe off and fall into Eva at the same time. “Girl, I know you playing Charlie Hides, but you don’t have to take the method acting that far,” Kennedy advises, before realising that Big Dee really is that bad at choreography. “They’re gonna me-me her ass off,” she warns. |
Episode #2 - Memes Come True Part Three The next day, and with the upcoming elimination playing on their minds, the queens work on perfecting their Best Drag looks for this week’s runway. Rafaella shows off her outfit, an expensive-looking blue gown, to the other queens. “How many sugar daddies did you have to get through to be able to afford that?” asks a stunned Valentine. Honey delicately brushes the oversized cartoon wig that she plans to wear and Jessica sorts through the paint she’ll apply to her face to create her look, while several queens gush over Bombalicious’ ornate dress, which reflects her Asian heritage. “I didn’t care much for this challenge,” Bombalicious says to the camera as she displays the dress on her work station. “I don’t like working in teams, so this wasn’t a fun week for me. I haven’t even learned the lip sync yet. But I figured that I could totally bomb in the challenge and still get through if I show the judges what I can do on the runway, and in my opinion, this is the best drag they’ll see tonight. Mark my words.” Across the werkroom, Nicole confesses to Yvie that she’s beginning to get worried. “I'm seeing all these gorgeous looks,” she says, looking around the room, “and I know mine isn’t up to that standard. I’m a little scared that the judges will think my look is basic, and then it's as if my performance in the challenge will have been for nothing.” Yvie gives Nicole a hug and reminds her that it takes all kinds of drag to make a world. Elsewhere, Drü talks to Lady Boi about how her look is “classic Drü Holiday” and how she hopes that the judges will get her style of drag, as she was safe last week and didn’t have the chance to be critiqued. “I really want to stamp my name onto this competition,” she confesses, “and there’s no better time like the present, is there?” As the runway approaches, Lady Boi notices some gold jewellery atop Bombalicious’ work station. “I have the exact same jewellery, girl, snap. I was going to wear mine tonight but I couldn’t find it. Where did you get it?” Bombalicious’ eyes dart around the room, and she pauses before saying that she inherited it from her grandmother. Lady Boi nods tentatively, and says in a confessional, “I’m not saying she stole my jewellery, but I’m not not saying the bitch stole my jewellery. Girl, your dress is already stunning, you don’t need to mop my jewellery! What do you think you’re playing at?” Ru walks down the runway and welcomes the judges - Michelle Visage, Ross Mathews, and tonight’s extra special guest judges, comedian Sasheer Zamata and actress Jane Krakowski - to the show, before introducing tonight’s maxi challenge, a lip synced musical celebration of some of the most legendary memes in Drag Race herstory. |
Episode #2 - Memes Come True Part Four - Team Nicole (in advance, Ammi, I'm sorry :laugh:) If I Meme (to the tune of If I Dream) Eva is stood alone on stage, in a spotlight. Eva Young as Roxxxy Andrews (singing): Night after night, I make it clear Rolaskatox is why I’m here With my shaw and sequinsed gown Might miss the bus but I’ll steal the crown The lights then come up and Honey bursts on, fanning herself. Honey Davenport as Latrice Royale (rapping): Large and in charge, like a biscuit I mop it up and then I eat it Chunky yet funky, glamour and grace Get those nuts away from my face Yvie, Drü, Big Dee, Valentine and Nicole all take to the stage and start dancing in unison. All (singing): If I meme Everything I wanna meme If I dream Ru gets a new hairstyling team If you just believe Ru could get a weave That’s not askew Delta, we blame you-oo-oo Yvie steps forward, holding a bag of crisps. Yvie Oddly as Coco Montrese (rapping): Here she is, the Dorito queen Just as orange as I’ve always been Every week I bring it to the ball And I’m not joking bitch, oh at all She and Drü square up and make faces at each other. Drü Holiday as Alyssa Edwards (rapping): Awright bitch, I’ll slay the beast Rigga morris from west to east Just believe in all your goals And you’ll achieve anything… backrolls?! All (singing): If I meme Everything I wanna meme If I dream A hottie covered in whipped cream If you just believe In your wildest dreams They might come true Here's the pit crew The pit crew take to the stage and awkwardly spray whipped cream onto themselves, before being pushed out of the way by Big Dee. Big Dee as Charlie Hides: *stands on the spot in the middle of the stage for about a minute, with her mouth closed, swaying gently from side to side, before shouting “I WAS FEIGNING MASTURBATION, OKAY?” and walking off* Valentine steps up to the stage. Valentine Addams as Stacy Layne Matthews (rapping): I’ll let you lick my red cake, honey Even though it costs a lot of fucking money I’m a country queen, the best in the biz So someone tell me who the fuck Heather is She makes way for Nicole. Nicole Lynn Foxxx as Jasmine Masters (rapping): Listen up bitch, I got a challenge for you Get a job, wash yo puss, do you hear me Ru? My kuht-kuht’s jush, I don’t mean to brag But RuPaul Drag Race have fucked up drag Everyone comes together for the final verse. All, lead by Jasmine (singing): Fucked up drag RuPaul Drag Race fucked up drag Fucked up drag RuPaul Drag Race fucked up drag If you wash yo puss It won’t smell like must Head cheerleader’s me LaQuisha Kiane If I meme…. The queens briefly strike an end pose, but they realise that the pit crew are trying to escape and chase after them, leaving Charlie awkwardly standing on the stage again. |
Episode #2 - Memes Come True Part Four - Team Cookie The Memeness (to the tune of The Realness) Team Cookie are all on stage and stood around a giant roulette wheel. All (singing): Real is what you meme Memes aren’t what they seem Drop your standards down It’s time to meet the team The memeness Th-the memeness Jessica, sat in a cardboard car, scoots forward. Jessica L'Whor as Phi Phi O'Hara (rapping): Jump in a car to Party City I can make you hate me with this four-line ditty I play the villain with the cards I’m dealt You tried to hug me? I SAID I FELT! Cookie appears from under a table, wearing a 'no smoking' sign on her head. Cookie Kunty as Laganja Estranja (rapping): Just like Nina shoulda been Blac Chyna You shoulda sought treatment for your dry vajoina Death dropping for the gawds and that’s a fact I’m sick’ning and feeling very attacked! All (singing): Feel it! The memeness, th-the memeness Catch it, touch it Touch it, catch it Flavour of this fever Feel it! The memeness, th-the memeness Catch it, test it Yep, it’s sepsis That explains the fever Cookie coughs. Rafaella descends from the ceiling, straddling a giant microphone. Rafaella Pop as Derrick Barry (rapping): It’s Derrick, bitch, and I’d like to stress That I sewed every damn hem on this dress I love my two boyfriends like I love to rhyme So I’ll hit this baby two more times Bombalicious steps forward. Bombalicious Eklaver as Thorgy Thor (rapping): Woo! Feeling thorgeous to the max I’m over here munching on fruit snacks My energy’s soaring from all this fructose Wanna send me home? Aw Jesus, gross All (singing): Put your money down Drop your panties down Our ratings are going down Make a meme and post it On Reddit On Reddit On Reddit On Reddit MEME IT! Lady Boi enters, walking on a trail of rose petals thrown down by her fellow queens. Lady Boi as Valentina (rapping): I’m beautiful, perfect, a Latin sensation Serving fan favourite in every nation Getting red M&Ms and the highest fees The crown? I’d like to keep it on please Finally, Vivacious walks on stage, with VinChelle perched precariously on top of her head. VinChelle as Ornacia (rapping): They know my name from here to Croatia Mother has arrived, yes it’s me, Ornacia Bebe don’t know me? Well, that’s treason Cause I’m the queen and that’s the gag of the season All (singing): The memeness Doesn’t really matter if it’s funny (th-the memeness) The memeness We’re clearly all just in this for the money (th-the paycheck) None of this is real (the memeness) It’s just a dream (th-the memeness) Is it a dream? (psychosis) Nope, it’s all real (y-you know this) The memeness… The queens all jostle for the spotlight at the end, with Vivacious ending up with all the glory. |
Episode #2 - Memes Come True Part Five - The Runway Following the performance, Ru introduces the runway theme: Best Drag. ----- Rafaella Pop's best drag look is a blue gown, complete with feathery headdress, that's a cross between Las Vegas showgirl and Mad Max. Spoiler: Bombalicious Eklaver is feeling her geisha fantasy in her red and gold look. Spoiler: Nicole Lynn Foxx wears a long gold dress that shimmers as she sashays down the runway. Spoiler: VinChelle opts for classic glamour, wearing a red gown with matching fur shawl and an oversized pearl necklace, which I'm sure won't be used as a source for humour whatsoever. Spoiler: Drü Holiday, showing the judges what she can do, wears a black dress, long black gloves and a horned headpiece. Spoiler: Yvie Oddly wears a feathery ballet-style, almost birdlike outfit, complete with black pumps. Spoiler: Lady Boi wears a bold red and black leotard and thigh-high red boots. In place of her missing jewellery, she wears a red and black choker. Spoiler: Jessica L'Whor's best drag is a typically understated multicoloured neon alien lizard look, which gives the judges "It Came From Outer Space to Give Your Wardrobe a Makeover" realness. Spoiler: Honey Davenport wears a diamond-encrusted silver leotard and exaggerated colourful hair, which she uses to adopt a cartoon character persona as she walks down the runway. Spoiler: Big Dee has chosen to don a glamorous blue-and-white First Lady-type dress, complete with white faux fur hat. Spoiler: Eva Young wears a gothic black feathery dress that serves Black Swan/sexy bird of prey realness. Spoiler: Valentine Addams is wearing a bright pink faux fur shawl and big purple hair alongside a nude diamond-encrusted dress. Spoiler: Cookie Kunty lives up to her name and serves us candy store couture in this bubblegum-inspired pink ensemble, complete with multicoloured headpiece. Spoiler: |
Episode #2 - Memes Come True Part Six - The Deliberation The queens are gathered for the judges’ critiques. Ru clarifies that although the queens competed in teams, they will be judged as individuals, before calling VinChelle, Rafaella, Cookie, Lady Boi, Jessica and Eva as safe. “Well, at least Lady Boi isn’t in the top either,” Jessica says in a confessional. As the safe queens untuck backstage, several queens tell VinChelle that her look warranted a place in the top over Yvie and Drü (joking that it was a-head of the competition, because lol Ornacia), Lady Boi spills the tea about suspecting that Bombalicious stole her jewellery to wear on the runway, and VinChelle says she senses tension between Jessica and both Eva and Lady Boi. Ru announces that Honey, Yvie, Drü, Big Dee, Valentine, Nicole and Bombalicious represent the tops and bottoms of the week. The judges say that although Yvie’s look doesn’t scream “best drag”, her performance in the challenge shows that her head is now in the game, and they commend her for stepping her pussy up from last week. The judges also say that Yvie and Drü worked brilliantly as a double act in the challenge, with Drü as the Alyssa to Yvie’s Coco, and shower praise onto Drü’s runway look as well as her comedy chops. However, Michelle then wags her finger and tells Drü, “your makeup is all sorts of wrong… I love it!” Big Dee’s runway look is complimented, although the judges note that her hairline is somewhat suspect. “What can I say,” Big Dee smiles, “my wig must have a life of its own.” Ross notes that while he enjoyed her comedic take on Charlie Hides, it was clear that she was focusing on trying to get the choreography right in the group segment, and as a result both her dancing and her lip syncing got a little muddy. The judges tell Valentine that they felt her Stacy Layne Matthews was too reserved for such a big persona, and say that her runway looks a little cheap. “Especially that lilac muff on your head,” says Michelle, to which Jane responds “I love a lilac muff!” and draws a love heart in Valentine’s direction. The judges all tell Bombalicious that they could tell she didn’t feel comfortable in the performance, and that she faded into the background, even during her solo segment. “You were Thorgy Thor for crying out loud,” exclaims Michelle. “You shouldn’t forget Thorgy Thor in a hurry.” Bombalicious replies that she didn’t feel “engaged with the material”, to which Ru echoes Kennedy’s earlier comments by saying that sometimes a queen just has to get on with the things she has to do, regardless of if she likes it or not, in a tone that just stops short of “I don’t want any goddamn excuses!”. However, the judges all express love for her runway look, including her choice of jewellery (which Bombalicious takes credit for) and by the end of the critique Bombalicious looks confident that she’s done enough to survive. Sasheer tells Honey that she owned the stage as Latrice Royale, while Ross says that she may not have been large, but she was most definitely in charge, praising her ability to take a comparatively small role and make it seem big. Michelle mentions that she loves seeing Honey show different sides to her drag with tonight’s playful, cartoon-ish looks, when she could have taken the easy route and gone for glamour like many of the other queens. Finally, Jane tells Nicole that she “slayed” the performance (“slayed? Am I saying that right? Or is it slew? How about slewed?”), but Michelle is ambivalent about her outfit on the runway. “You look nice, sure, but it’s a plain gold dress with no padding. You could have done so much more and I think it’s a shame that you didn’t.” Nicole nods as if in agreement. Ru then tells the queens to untuck backstage while the judges deliberate. A while later, the queens return to the main stage and Ru announces that she has made her decision. “Drü Holiday… you’re safe.” “Yvie Oddly, this week, your Coco drove us cuckoo… in a good way. You’re safe.” “Nicole Lynn Foxx, this week, you Jasmine Mastered the art of lip sync performance. Congradulations, you’re the winner of this week’s challenge… is what I would be saying if it weren’t for that dress. You’re safe.” “Honey Davenport, this week, you took us to church, and I’d let you sop me up any day of the week… congradulations, you’re the winner of this week’s challenge.” Honey jumps up and down in excitement, before being told that she’s won a custom gown and a diamond necklace for her efforts. “Valentine Addams, this week, we were not... in love with your runway presentation. Big Dee, your Charlie Hides did not give us what we… seek. Bombalicious Eklaver, your Thorgy Thor was ever so slightly… Thorkward…” “...Big Dee, you’re safe.” Big Dee thanks the judges and yanks her wig down as she walks off. This leaves Bombalicous Eklaver and Valentine Addams as the bottom two. “Two queens stand before me,” Ru continues. “This is your last chance to impress me, and save yourself from elimination.” Valentine confesses that “it’s time to work harder than I’ve ever worked before”, while Bombalicious remains confused that her outfit wasn’t enough to save her from lip syncing. “Is there some kind of mistake? I killed that runway!”, she asks in her confessional. “The time has come, to lip sync, for your life…” |
Episode #2 - Memes Come True Part Seven - The Lip Sync https://i.imgur.com/Dl8LoAg.png https://i.imgur.com/Rx1UTPW.png Bombalicious Eklaver vs. Valentine Addams BURNITUP! (Janet Jackson feat. Missy Elliott) While Bombalicious seems over the whole gig and puts little effort into her lip sync, Valentine takes advantage of her opponent's lack of enthusiasm and in turn cranks hers up to 180%, rapping along to the music and dancing so furiously that Cookie says she fears the stage might break. That said, she manages to combine fun, sass, humour and the will to survive into her performance, and by the end has all the queens and judges on her side. After the lip sync, Ru tells the queens that she has made her decision. “Valentine Addams, shantay you stay,” Ru declares. A grateful Valentine sighs in relief and kisses Bombalicious' painted face before stepping to the back of the stage. “Bombalicious Eklaver,” Ru continues. “Miss Thang, you put the gay into geisha, and now I'm forever an Eklaver lover. Now, sashay away.” Bombalicious nods, picks up her skirt and walks down the runway with her head held perhaps a little too high. With a final hiss, she's gone. Backstage, she says that she's still in shock that she was eliminated, and wonders if Ru is due for an eye test any time soon. As she prepares to leave, Ru’s voice is heard on the TV screen. “Don’t lose hope yet, my queen,” the message says. “For the race is long.” “I knew it was all an elaborate joke,” Bombalicious insists upon hearing the message. "I bet I'm actually the winner." To be continued... |
omg iconic :amazed: :love:
Would've rather had Bombalicious stay tho :( |
Episode 3 survey
I'll give you slightly longer for this one, so you've got until Saturday afternoon, when I'll collect the results and write the episode :) |
Brilliant episode! Sad to see the back of Bomba she was giving me Phi-Phi levels of villain :(
Yvie is probably my solid favourite now |
..:laugh:...(..MB your so gracious and kind..:hug:..)...
...for some reason If I Dream became I Dreamed a Dream in my head...when I looked at the lyrics I thought, hmmmm I’m not sure that’s going to fit ...but obviously they did because I’d misread it and connected the wrong song to your lyrics MB...I mean those lyrics so fit...so, so fit..:laugh:...Bombalicious though..:sad:...she’ did though seem like a much more confident lady than Amanda...so it didn’t quite feel so sad for her to be sashayed away...what happened I wonder with the necklace as well../..Lady Boi’s necklace...I hope she left it and didn’t take it...the outfits in the runway theme are all so stunning and glamourous..:lovedup:...the thought, detail, time etc with all of this MB is just wow...Rafaella’s I think was my favourite runway style because she looked incredible in that blue...but all of them were very regal and fabulous..:love:... ...this is all just so spectacular...:lovedup:...such a great concept and so well done ...I did the survey but cringe again at my mirror message..:laugh:...I’m thinking work places could be more Ru Paul..and have a mirror in their staff room...and everyone could leave a mirror message for their boss at the end of each working day...actually in meetings etc as well...mirrors and lipsticks replacing whiteboards and markers ..fabulous...this is all fabulous MB, you really do have so much talent..:love:... |
Ammi :love:
If anyone else fancies casting a vote, you've got until the end of today to do so :) |
I need to catch up on the WoW app.
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I promise I'll be writing the show tomorrow, so you have until some unspecified time in the next 24 hours! |
I was away when this started and thought "yes just jump straight in when you get home" but oh boy this is a lot to catch up with :worry:
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Admittedly I am stuck at the boy photos of Dru, tbf
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(I'm in the middle of writing episode 3 now, btw) |
I'll do the survey now if it's not too late :worry: I am slain by your Meme songs
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(and ta x) |
(I'm having to do this on my phone, so it's taking a little longer than I'd expected :laugh:)
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Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice Part One Scene: the werkroom, after Bombalicious’ elimination. “Well, that was eventful,” Nicole laughs as the queens enter the werkroom. “Damn this flat ass!” she says, trying to lighten the mood by referring to the judges’ critique that she would have won the challenge if not for her runway presentation (and more specifically, her lack of padding). After that, there’s silence as Valentine cleans the mirror of Bombalicious’ lipstick message: “Aw Jesus gross! L O L. Y’all know this ain’t right, but don't be shady ladies. p.s. thanks 4 the jewellery Ladee Boy. [sic] Can you hear me ticking? Bomb. x” The queens stand around and stare at the mirror. “There’s a lot to unpack there, huh?” VinChelle asks herself rhetorically. “If I see that jewellery turn up on Antiques Roadshow next week, I’m cutting a bitch,” Lady Boi half-jokes, half-threatens as she volunteers to help Valentine finish the job. Eventually, attention turns to Jessica, who is standing noticeably further away from the other queens, especially Lady Boi and Eva. Big Dee eloquently asks her what’s “crawled up her ass”, before Jessica replies, telling the group that she feels it’s unfair that “certain queens” are getting recognition “despite not putting in as much effort as the rest of us.” When Drü asks for names, Jessica mentions Eva, Lady Boi and Yvie, the latter of whom is taken aback. “I knew I didn’t make the greatest first impression with these girls,” Yvie says in a confessional, “but for my Denver sister to have turned on me really sucks. I wasn’t getting that vibe from her at all, but now at least I know which game she’s playing. In the wise words of Alyssa Edwards, don’t get bitter, just get better.” “If this is still about me getting the role she wanted, I swear to god,” Lady Boi complains to Yvie on the couch in the corner of the werkroom, referencing drama that arose during the previous week’s maxi challenge. “I didn’t even win! If she wants to drag someone, go for someone who’s been clocked by the judges, like Valentine, or Dee. Or, I love her, but Nicole.” As the queens eventually remember to congratulate Honey on her challenge win, Eva stands at her station, folding her gown and putting it away. Jessica stands across the room, staring her down. “Oh my god, it’s like a Western,” says Cookie, caught between the two in the middle of the room. “Django Untucked, more like,” agrees Nicole from behind her station. As Eva and Jessica lock eyes intently, a naked Rafaella dramatically runs through the middle of them and past Cookie, shouting “I lost my boobs! I lost my boobs!” and flapping her arms manically. As VinChelle begins to wonder in the ghost of Bombalicious is haunting the werkroom and stealing the queens’ possessions, Rafaella explains that she left her breastplate somewhere in the room and can’t remember where. “Long story short,” Honey says in a confessional, “we’ve all gone mad and it’s only episode three. Lord Jesus help us all.” |
Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice Part Two The next morning, things are still tense between certain queens, although Rafaella is at least in high spirits, having managed to find her breastplate (“it was in my boob drawer!”). Boy Ru enters the werkroom and tells the queens he hopes they’ve packed their thermals, because winter’s coming. “Don’t tell me Shangela’s back again,” Cookie groans, before Ru clarifies that he’s talking about the Winter Olympics, despite the fact that in reality they happened a month and a half ago. For this week’s mini challenge, the queens will be acting out Winter Olympic sports, but first, they’d have to be sorted into pairs. Announcing that he’s been sitting on a secret, Ru unveils a long list of paper from inside his waistband and tells the queens that based on track record so far, their pairs have been decided and are as follows: Eva, who won the first maxi challenge, will be paired with Valentine, who survived last week’s lip sync Honey, who won the first mini challenge and last week’s maxi challenge, will be paired with Big Dee, who narrowly avoided last week’s lip sync Lady Boi, who received positive feedback in week one, will be paired with Yvie, who survived the first lip sync but received positive feedback last week Jessica, who received positive feedback in week one, will be paired with Cookie, who has been safe both weeks so far VinChelle will be paired with Rafaella, as they have both been safe both weeks so far Nicole, who has received positive feedback both weeks, will be paired with Drü, who received positive feedback last week Jessica seems happy, although this may just be relief that she isn’t partnered with any of her new nemeses. The pairs divide themselves into performers and guessers, and the mini challenge begins:
Once the queens are done embarrassing themselves, Ru reveals that as Rafaella and VinChelle were quickest to get a correct answer, they win this week’s mini challenge. Rafaella looks confused. Ru then tells the queens that they’d better be getting along with their partner, because they’ll also be working in their pairs (at which Jessica looks a lot less happy than she did before) for the maxi challenge, which is to choreograph and perform ice dance routines worthy of Olympic gold medals. Several queens’ jaws drop to the floor in horror, before Ru stresses that they won’t actually be ice skating, rather roller skating on a floor that’ll be made up to look like ice. Nonetheless, Big Dee still looks as if she’s about to faint, and a number of queens begin to wish that they’d been able to choose their own pairs. |
Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice Part Three The pairs, who’ve been supplied with practice ice skates to try on despite not having to do so in the challenge itself, get to work on creating their ice dance routines. Among the few queens that seem at all confident are Nicole, who considers herself a dancing queen (but repeats that there’s no ice in Louisiana, which may prove a hurdle), and Jessica, who says she’s up for the challenge that Ru has given her, although she expresses her concern over a lack of chemistry with Cookie following their not-so-great coordination in the mini challenge. “But at least I’m not with that bitch Eva,” she laughs as she repeatedly and menacingly stabs her work station with her ice skate. Speaking of Eva, she and partner Valentine are sat around their work bench, trying to come up with a concept for their routine. Each pair has been given a different Britney Spears track to perform to, and Eva and Valentine have been tasked with choreographing a number to the song Everytime. “The problem is, it’s really slow, and everyone else has upbeat songs, so we’re going to stand out no matter what we do,” Eva says, rubbing her temples. Valentine suggests that they go down the comedy route, as both queens have admitted that they’re not great at skating and the judges may find their performance boring if they play it straight. “Eva isn’t convinced yet, but I think comedy is our only option,” Valentine says in a confessional. “I nearly went home last week because I didn’t stand out enough, and I can’t risk the same thing happening twice in a row. We’re just going to have to pull up our leg warmers and, somehow, make those judges laugh.” In a separate confessional, Eva says although she and Valentine have a strong Chicago bond, she may end up having to step in and overrule her sister on this particular decision. Meanwhile, Lady Boi and Yvie work on their choreography to Gimme More, but Yvie admits that she’s distracted, and not just by the sound of Jessica slamming the blade of her ice skate into the table while yelling profanities. “I’m still feeling a little bit shaken by what Jessica said about me earlier,” she confesses. “It’s hard to concentrate on the task at hand when someone you’ve known for a long time turns on you for no apparent reason. She’s my sister and I’m going to have to talk it out with her to find out what’s going on, but I might have to wait until she’s less… well, violent for a start.” As she jots down notes on their performance, Lady Boi looks around the room and sees Rafaella doing somersaults around partner VinChelle, before landing into a split. “I never thought I’d see the day where VinChelle gets upstaged by someone,” Lady Boi mutters to Yvie as Rafaella walks the length of the werkroom on her hands. “Such unique choreography those two have...” |
Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice Part Four Later that day, the queens go to practice their routines in a specially-constructed performance area, where they’re met by guest coach, Olympic bronze medallist figure skater and professional Twitter icon Adam Rippon, who’s here to put the queens through their paces on the so-called ice. As they arrive in the studio and lay eyes on Adam, Honey fangirls a little while Big Dee dickpigs a lot. The queens prepare to show him their choreography to Break the Ice, but not before Big Dee warns that she probably will literally break the ice, even though Adam reminds her that it isn’t real ice. Of the two, Honey is clearly more natural in skates, and is also slightly better at remembering the routine, as Big Dee keeps stopping and asking her partner what the next move is. “You can’t do this on the night, ladies,” Adam says. “I didn’t pause in the middle of my Olympic program and ask for my line. Good god, get a grip girl.” Two pairs decide to adopt the same technique in the routines that they perform for Adam: namely, both Nicole and Drü, performing to Slumber Party, and VinChelle and Rafaella (who as a team have christened themselves Blades of Whorey), skating to Outrageous, decide to “lez it up” (Drü’s words, not mine) and spend more time simulating sex rather than actually dancing. However, Adam complains that Nicole and Drü’s routine “didn’t even give him a semi”, and Rafaella’s cartwheels, handstands and incessant grinding on VinChelle makes him laugh more than anything. “A little more work might be needed” is the advice he gives to both pairs, after which everyone goes off for a cigarette and a lie down in a dark room. Adam is sceptical of Valentine’s decision to take a comedic approach in her and Eva’s performance to an emotional song, and suggests that they try their routine without the slapstick to see whether or not it would work. However, he soon realises that neither are particularly capable skaters, and tells them to go for as much comedy as they’d like in order to mask that fact. Next, he praises Lady Boi and Yvie’s energy in their practice performance, but asks them to work on their synchronisation, as “it’s all getting a little sloppy on the bottom. And I know a thing or two about sloppy bottoms.” Finally, Jessica and Cookie take to the ‘ice’ for their routine to I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll, and Adam soon notices a problem. “Cookie, I’m not really getting rock and roll from your performance, and Jessica, I’m getting too much. Way, way, too much. I was wondering if there was any pent-up frustration you need to get out, because right now it looks like a bull chasing a mouse around the rink.” Jessica replies that she’s fine, and that she's probably just feeling the pressure of the challenge. “I’m not sure if either of us are ready for this performance,” Cookie says in a confession, adding that she’s slightly scared of Jessica right now. |
Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice Part Five Just like that, it’s elimination day, and the queens are back in the werkroom, getting ready for both their ice dance performances and the runway, which has the theme Stars In Stripes. Jessica yawns and tells Cookie that she didn’t catch any sleep last night, and she isn’t sure why. “Maybe it’s the stress,” she tells herself, but Cookie isn’t convinced. She decides to go over to Eva and ask if she and Jessica would like to hash out their problems, as she suspects that Jessica is letting the tension get to her without wanting to admit it. “I think I’ll ask her on my own terms,” Eva replies. “I don’t want to butt in and make things worse, you know? We could end up with a Tonya Harding situation on our hands.” As Cookie walks away and returns to her work bench, Eva makes last minute alterations to her runway look. “Oh my god, you bitch, that’s such a shoot,” Valentine says, admiring the fitted striped gown and custom ornate headpiece. “I feel like mine’s so basic compared to yours.” The sight of Eva’s dress actually makes Valentine rather emotional, and she begins telling Eva about her frustration. “It sucks,” she says, “because I live to perform and play characters and put on a show, and yet I’ve been underperforming in challenges I should be good at. And now I’m looking at your dress, and I feel like you’re out there doing Chicago proud and I’m letting them down.” Valentine wipes a tear away and laughs at herself as Eva reminds her partner that she’s “one of the fiercest bitches” she knows. “You just need to keep reminding yourself of that, because once you know it’s true then you’ll be able to prove it to the world. Now get out of my station, you whore.” At the makeup table, various queens are applying their paint and telling jokes to pass the time. VinChelle insists they play “bang, marry, kill”, to which Honey replies, “oh, after today’s challenge, I’d do all three to Adam Rippon.” Big Dee then suggests they play the game with members of the Trump administration, adding, “I’d let Jeff Sessions be the Attorney General to my bussy any day of the week.” Jessica overhears the laughter from her work station and walks over. “Don’t joke about that,” she says, as Big Dee plans her marriage to Rex Tillerson. “I don’t want to hear anyone making jokes about the Trump administration as if they’re not still the enemy. Do I have to remind you guys how dangerous they are before you stop talking about which ones you’d like to kiki with? Seriously, grow up and have some respect.” Rafaella makes a face to the camera as Nicole mutters something about too much drama. “Sit down, queen. You’re not the joke police,” Big Dee replies as she sticks an eyelash on. “I can talk about giving BJs to Mike Pence all I want, because it’s called a joke. Take a heavy dose of chill pills and calm your overdramatic ass.” Jessica turns and walks the other way, shaking her head and wondering who still uses the phrase “take a chill pill” in 2018. Yvie notices the tension in the werkroom about to boil over, and decides to approach Jessica to talk things over. “Girl, this isn’t you,” Yvie says, rubbing her shoulder. “What’s eating you today? You’re not the queen I know and it’s making me really sad.” Jessica rubs her eyes and begins to cry. “I don’t know. I really don’t know. Maybe it’s the pressure of the competition, seeing queens who are just naturally smart and confident and popular and… I don’t know, better than me. You and I both know that I’m at the top of the Denver scene, and now all of a sudden I’m not at the top, even though I work my ass off each and every day to get there.” As Yvie wipes Jessica’s tears from her face, Jessica apologises if she’s been acting bitter towards other queens, including her. Yvie accepts this and tells Jessica that she understands the pressure she’s under, laughing that “we’ve both had it hard and it’s only episode three.” However, Yvie says she can’t promise that Lady Boi and Eva will be quite as forgiving. |
Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice Part Six - The Performances Ru walks down the runway and welcomes the judges - Michelle Visage, Ross Mathews, and tonight’s extra special guest judges, Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon and actress Sarah Michelle Gellar - to the show, before introducing tonight’s maxi challenge. Pair #1) Honey Davenport & Big Dee skate to Break the Ice Pair #2) Nicole Lynn Foxx & Drü Holiday skate to Slumber Party Pair #3) Eva Young & Valentine Addams skate to Everytime Pair #4) Lady Boi & Yvie Oddly skate to Gimme More Pair #5) Jessica L'Whor & Cookie Kunty skate to I Love Rock 'n' Roll Pair #6) VinChelle & Rafaella Pop skate to Outrageous |
Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice Part Seven - The Runway Once all the pairs have performed, Ru introduces tonight’s runway theme: Stars In Stripes. ----- Honey Davenport: https://i.imgur.com/fkQREWm.png Big Dee: https://i.imgur.com/VuVkcc5.png Nicole Lynn Foxx: https://i.imgur.com/PKOjVBI.png Drü Holiday: https://i.imgur.com/RuZOMOR.png Eva Young: https://i.imgur.com/VYRkxpm.png Valentine Addams: https://i.imgur.com/fl6QkIH.png Lady Boi: https://i.imgur.com/OptNcQy.png Yvie Oddly: https://i.imgur.com/hImdFZT.png Jessica L'Whor: https://i.imgur.com/d1cKpWY.png Cookie Kunty: https://i.imgur.com/4KQnETn.png VinChelle: https://i.imgur.com/pwoj5XW.png Rafaella Pop: https://i.imgur.com/7pv1Ccp.png |
Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice Part Eight - The Deliberation The queens are gathered for the judges’ critiques. Ru announces that as the queens competed in pairs, they’ll be judged as such. Eva gulps. Firstly, the judges tell Honey that they would quite literally die for her runway look, and praise her “can-do” attitude in the challenge. “Well, that’s one half of the pair out the way,” Michelle says, before moving onto Big Dee, prompting Honey to stand in front of her partner to protect her from whatever onslaught is coming. “You’re not a natural on the ice,” Adam gently tells Big Dee, crushing her life-long dream of competing at the 2022 games. Ross tells her that while her runway look isn’t the most flashy, it certainly isn’t the worst. VinChelle and Rafaella’s ice dance routine, meanwhile, is given the thumbs up from the judges, with Sarah commenting that it managed to entertain her without looking as though they’d made it up on the spot, and Ross giving special praise to Rafaella for her performance. Michelle says that Rafaella perhaps took the runway theme a little too literally, but Adam says she almost looks good enough to turn him straight. “It’s comforting to know that the most patriotic person here is the one from Spain,” Ross deadpans. The judges rave over Nicole’s runway presentation, and point out that she would have won last week if she’d looked anywhere near as good. “Thanks, I guess?” Nicole laughs in response to this almost-compliment. Drü also receives complimentary feedback on her look, but the judges are more hesitant when it comes to their routine. “It felt safe. I wanted drag, but for me it just… sagged,” says poet laureate Adam Rippon. “It was a fine performance, but with Britney, you want that extra bit of excitement. I didn’t get that,” adds Ross. For Eva and Valentine’s team, Eva gets glowing reviews for her fashion-forward gown, but that’s where the good news ends. Michelle tells Valentine that her look is “a bit pedestrian”, even though Ross says he’ll never not stan a beret. Their ice dance performance, which featured a lot of slapstick faces and rolling around on top of each other, was “kind of cringeworthy” according to Adam. Valentine accepts full responsibility for her “bad executive decision” and apologises to Eva. “They’re not exactly my favourite,” says Michelle of Jessica and Cookie’s runway looks, although Adam says he likes Jessica’s use of colour and Sarah compliments Cookie’s starry eyes. “And then we have your routine,” Adam begins, looking over his notes and trying to work out how to phrase his critique, “where you didn’t seem very involved. All I got was disinterest.” Ross says he missed the energy that he usually gets from both Jessica and Cookie. Jessica bows her head throughout. Finally, the judges comment on Lady Boi and Yvie. Adam tells Yvie that her club kid-inspired look has him “gagged”, and for once Michelle agrees. “You have a real eye for freaky fashion. You killed it,” she smiles, as Lady Boi gets positive feedback (if not quite as positive as Yvie) for her 1960s-inspired outfit. Their ice dance routine receives unanimous praise, and Adam commends them on fixing their synchronisation issues to deliver “a tight, fun performance with no sloppy bottoms in sight.” Ross combines the pair’s fashion skills and ice skating proficiency into a single groan-worthy “Kristi Yama-Gucci” pun. |
Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice Part Nine - The Deliberation, cont. Once the judges have deliberated, consulted with various professional ice skating judges from around the world and submitted their scores, the queens are called back to the main stage to hear Ru’s decisions. “VinChelle and Rafaella Pop… you’re safe.” “Lady Boi and Yvie Oddly, this week, you well and truly broke the ice. Condragulations, you’re the winners of this week’s challenge.” A very excited Lady Boi and an even more excited Yvie chest bump in celebration, before being told that they’ve each won a Caribbean getaway and a year’s supply of tequila. They’re then both even more excited. “Nicole Lynn Foxx and Drü Holiday… you’re safe.” “Honey Davenport and Big Dee… you may not have been on the same level this week, but you’re safe.” “Eva Young and Valentine Addams, this week, your slapstick made us… slap-sick. Jessica L’Whor and Cookie Kunty… your routine had plenty of Kunt and lots of L’Whor, but I’m afraid we needed much, much more....” “...Eva and Valentine, you’re safe.” Valentine looks stunned and stands on the spot for several seconds too long, before hugging Eva and leaving the stage with her. This leaves Cookie Kunty and Jessica L'Whor as the bottom two. “Two queens stand before me,” Ru continues. “This is your last chance to impress me, and save yourself from elimination.” In a confessional, Jessica sighs that it’s been a tough week, but her conversation with Yvie has helped her see the competition in a new light, and she’d hate to leave before she has the chance to make amends with her sisters. “I have to do something to really stand out," she says. “The time has come, to lip sync, for your life…” |
Episode #3 - Drag Queens on Ice Part Ten - The Lip Sync https://i.imgur.com/eo93pql.png https://i.imgur.com/pOlHHGp.png Cookie Kunty vs. Jessica L'Whor Rasputin (Boney M) The two queens both show that they're keen to stay and that, as the maxi challenge may have suggested, they're not completely inept at choreography, as Jessica and Cookie both pull out their best dance moves. Cookie shows the judges her best disco tricks, while Jessica goes for a wilder approach, taking time in the middle of her lip sync to drop to the floor and do some Cossack dancing. It's a more or less equal battle until the final chorus, when Jessica pulls out a Russian flag that she'd somehow managed to fit inside her tiny costume. As she waves the flag about in the breeze, the winner becomes clear. After the lip sync, Ru tells the queens that she has made her decision. “Jessica L'Whor, shantay you stay,” Ru declares. Jessica bursts into tears and uses her Russian flag as a massive hanky. Cookie embraces her in a hug and tells her to keep fighting. “Cookie Kunty,” Ru continues. “you showed us both your sweet and savoury sides, and let me tell you, they were a batch made in heaven. We wooden change you for the world. Now, sashay away.” Cookie giggles, nods and smiles as she blows kisses to her other girls, several of whom (especially Rafaella) are crying. “Au revoir, my ladies. It was a pleasure,” she says, leaving the stage. As she collects her trophy, Cookie says she has no regrets, but admits that being partnered with Jessica at “her... difficult time" probably did her no favours. Her goodbye speech is cut off by a sudden voice coming from the TV screen. “Don’t lose hope yet, my queen,” says Ru's voice. “For the race is long.” Cookie drops and breaks her trophy in surprise, before asking if she has to pay for a replacement. To be continued... |
Things are going to be a little different this week. To speed things up a bit, the next survey will include both episode four and episode five. I'll remove whoever gets eliminated in episode four from the episode five results, if that makes sense:
Here's the episode four and five survey You've got until Thursday, when I'll collect the results and write the episodes. Tyvm in advance, and extra thanks if you managed to read the tortuous dissertation that was episode three in its entirety :) |
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...another fabulous read MB as always..your just stunning at this...:lovedup:....i’ve just caught up and done the survey...Cookie though..:sad:...it’s becoming so hard to see any of these ladies sashay away...
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If I get my act together, episode four should be tonight! |
All 3 consistently 'safe' queens getting an extreme placing this week and ruining the chance of a Dida Ritz queen </3
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*Joslyn Fox looks away, embarrassed*
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