You're fine Nicky... and remember that the people telling you you're annoying are probably really annoying themselves sometimes. We all are. I know I am...!

you have, dear MM
been on medication for 19 years, made 3 suicide attempts and still think dying would be best for me
if it wasn't for my bf, the love of my life, I wouldn't bother tbh

Redway is right, we are not talking about an occassional low mood here

:laugh: yes i agree, we all can have our annoying moments, but i still love it on here cause i have such a good laugh with others on here, and some more serious moments on SD maybe, but i've started to appreciate SD a lot more now as well :)

Well I'm glad that you're here with us Twosugars and hopefully your medication stays working strong.:)

And thank you for replying back to me as I know that it's a very personal matter.

you're welcome, MM. Yes, it can be difficult to talk about.
But if this thread and talking helps someone then it's worth it.

btw, my meds don't work too well, so yes, I've improved from my all-time low point 5 years ago but only to a point where living is not suffering but more like an unpleasant and exhausting chore.
But according to my NHS psychiatrist I've plateaued and have to cope as best I can so :shrug:
I'm not going to go there and throw chairs and break windows for them to take me seriously (some people do, out of desperation).
If not better, gonna go for a ketamine treatment at nhs oxford this winter.

Quite.

It was more your wording of "Someone who's depressed it's their job to fix their lives without any aid" that suggested you thought that was the case for everyone.

The NHS are a runned down mess at the moment, hopefully they'll start taking your issues more seriously soon.

I do have a bad habit of not putting my points across properly, in real life and on the internet.:joker:

Won't hold my breath.
But thank you for kind words, MM.

..yeah a thread or post on ECT would be really informative, Redway...I knew someone who had ECT therapy as well as many other therapies and many other medications...it didn’t work for her, none of them did as she eventually took her own life...the place she found herself in sadly, was not somewhere which would have responded to any treatment at the time...this is the thing with depression and mental health issues for some people...

...you can’t change who you are, Nicky...you have autism and it’s a very beautiful part of you as well..:hug:...it all goes to make up you, you know...every bit of it and nothing needs changing as such...things like ‘obsessions’ are an essential as well for autism because they create a focus that is needed to be channelled into so that things don’t get too scary for you...if that makes sense..?...anyways in terms of those and your time on here..and ‘being annoying’..?...maybe give yourself goals and try to focus on those goals...things like ...when you have a favourite on B.B. and then you stop liking them so much..?..(...which happens for all of us with housemates..)...then don’t go the opposite way and ‘hate on them’..?...just don’t see them as your favourite anymore is all...but not someone to be disliked as such, you know..?...also with any reality show...maybe only allow yourself a certain number of times that you’ll change who is your favourite in that show..?..and really restrict that number of times to maybe only one change through the show or two as the absolute maximum...?...I think making some goals to reach could really help your reality tv love, Nicky....and they won’t change who you are and who you need to be...your beautiful self dear Nicky..:lovedup:...

Summarised as much as I could. Holla if you've still got questions though.

Listen, who wants information on other mental health surgeries (like DBS for high-grade OCD)?

Well, my depression is not psychotic (thank god for small mercies) so looks like I can forget ECT.


Here is a link to a simple test for depression. Nothing fancy, just assessment of your mood.

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/depression-quiz/

My score was 68, severe depression.
Have a look, worth getting an idea about yourself.

Wait, what? In which way is turning people into vegetables defensible?

In what way is letting people at the point of starvation die because of ignorant comments from the general public?

Comments like yours are the reason these discussions need to be had. Instead of wading in here all hysterical and spreading myths at least try and follow the thread.

Mhm. ECT's traditionally held in reserve for the most severe cases because of attitudes like kizzy's but it's meant to be the most effective treatment for all shades of depression. I'd at least give it some thought if I were you. Is it the post-op amnesia that worries you the most?

That's not what it does... it makes people a bit dazed for at most a day or so (e.g. you're not allowed to drive afterwards).

TBH I think at some point the "general public conception" of ECT got mixed up with lobotomy and they became considered the same sort of thing / to have the same effect. Even then, the effects of lobotomy (done correctly) wasn't catatonia either, that's really just the Hollywood-style dramatisation of it. Though it did sometimes make people go... a bit odd... as you would expect from deliberate brain damage.

People ending up "zombies", if it happened at all, would have been because the procedure was often done by untrained people in a non-surgical setting and so further serious braindamage sometimes happened.


...just to reiterate though; ECT and lobotomy are far from the same thing.

I scored 9 and then redid it for how I was approx 18 months / 2 years ago; I scored 51. So it turns out there is hope? I actually think I made a thread about it in the private section :umm2: which I would never normally do so that should say something - and also, it was much, much worse than what I was describing there, I was playing it down a lot. I had what I believe is called a "major acute depressive episode"... which also resolved pretty spontaneously, which it apparently often does. I can't imagine battling with something like that for years non stop, tbqfh. The only real knock-on effect has been that I get stressed much more easily (in genuinely stressful situations) and tend to go worst-case-scenario immediately;

"Ugh you just got flashed by that speed camera... YOU'RE GUNNA LOSE YOUR LICENSE AND OUR LIVES WILL BE RUUUIIINEDDD!!!"

Though I've never really been an optimist :joker:.

They usually clear up by themselves in 6 months to a year-ish, yh. Is that how long yours lasted?

I would say 4 months of it being actively bad, another few months of "aftershocks".

And your disparaging patonising is the goto response of a parrot fashion taught student. I think for myself thank you, I am not ignorant and elevating yourself above the 'general public' in a public debate says more about you than me.
My concerns are far from hysterical I have first hand experience of this topic not that it's your business. Now if you've the energy to debate without insulting me I have a few questions...

Here is a study.

Answer me this, why were the majority of the people in the study aged between 60-100? And why was the majority reason given for referral 'depression' 2/3 of them women?

In the study almost 700 were not able to consent, and almost 500 people were subjected to 12 treatments ... some more.


https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/pdf/ECTAS%...%202012-13.pdf

You're not alone when it comes to overthinking TS. Do freak auto accidents and things like Grenfell towers make it worse for you?

I wanted to have it done, requested it, but was told no. Maybe if I was sectioned, but otherwise they said they didn't do it.

Now all my hopes rest on ketamine treatment at Oxford.

Again with the 'general public' :/ professor TS ... I am not confusing ECT and a prefrontal lobotomy either. My point of reference is this being used within the last 15yrs on brain injured patients of secure wards, with averse results.