Originally Posted by Shaun (Post 9943926) *Joslyn Fox looks away, embarrassed*

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part One

Scene: the werkroom, after Cookie’s elimination.

The queens return to the werkroom, mumbling vaguely French-sounding words in tribute to their departed Canadian sister. The queens cheer on a still-emotional Jessica as she wipes Cookie’s final words from the mirror:

“Il y a vingt-cinq grammes d'héroïne non coupée cachée quelque part dans cette pièce. Amusez-vous, mesdames. (jk Kimora) -sincerely, your white chocolate chip Cookie xoxo”

“I can’t speak French, but I bet that says something real nice,” Honey smiles. As the queens give their congratulations to maxi challenge winners Lady Boi and Yvie (Big Dee tells them that they’ll soon put Torvill and Dean out of business. “Oh, those magician dudes who got bitten by a tiger?” replies Lady Boi), Jessica takes her time by herself at the mirror to calm down following an emotional few days. In a confessional, she talks about regretting her previous actions and hopes that she hasn’t alienated her fellow queens too much. “I got stuck in my own head and did things that I’d never normally do, and it impacted not only my performance in the competition but my personal relationships with these girls. Hopefully I have time to turn things around before it’s too late.”

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Two

A new day dawns and boy Ru enters the werkroom, equipped with a devilish new challenge for the queens up his garishly-patterned sleeve. He’s followed in by two members of the Pit Crew (imagine the two that you find the hottest. It’s them), each holding a massive ball. Ru tells the queens to take a long, hard look at the Pit Crew’s balls, and honestly it’s a wonder that this show is still on the air at this point. Anyway, as Ru explains, inside each ball are tiny balls with the names of each queen written on them. He will pull out one tiny ball from each larger ball, and the two queens whose names are randomly drawn will become the team captains for this week’s maxi challenge. With the rules as clear as mud, Ru draws Drü’s name from the first ball, and Rafaella’s name from the second. Drü seems cautious, whereas Rafaella starts screaming like a banshee. It is then explained to Rafaella that the draw was to determine team captains for the maxi challenge, not the winner, and she calms down.

Ru explains that as there are an odd number of queens, whoever is left last will be able to pick their team. Drü is first to pick, followed by Rafaella, and the teams are as follows (in order of selection):

Team Drü
Drü Holiday
Lady Boi
Yvie Oddly
Honey Davenport
Big Dee
Jessica L'Whor

Team Rafaella
Rafaella Pop
Eva Young
VinChelle
Nicole Lynn Foxx
Valentine Addams

“It doesn’t surprise me that I was left until last,” Jessica says, surprisingly calmly, in a confessional. “I’ve been an absolute mess these past few days, but it’s all in the past, and my job now is to prove to these girls that I’m over it and I’m here to be a valuable team member. Never underestimate L’Whor.”

With teams picked, Ru tells the girls that he’s in the mood for a celebration, and suddenly hundreds of balloons fall from the ceiling. Nicole, who apparently has a phobia of balloons, runs to the other side of the room. “We don’t have balloons in Louisiana!” she shouts over the sound of three hundred balloons being popped by overexcited drag queens. Once it’s safe for her to return to the group, Ru explains that for this week’s maxi challenge, the two groups will be throwing rival surprise birthday parties for a mystery guest. The group whose party the guest deems best will win, and although it is a group challenge, the queens will want to do what they can to stand out and make the guest’s special day one to remember. “And one more thing,” Ru announces, doing his best Columbo impression, “your first clue: these parties had better be big. Big Apple big.”

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Three

Firstly, Team Drü congregate at their station and, with Ru’s clue lingering in their heads, bounce ideas for their party off one another. “It’s definitely someone from New York, right?”, Yvie asks, as the group turns to native New Yorker Honey for any suggestions. “Perhaps it’s one of my drag sisters. It could be Bob, or Sasha, or Peppermint,” she says, reeling off lists of New York queens. Big Dee suggests they narrow their possible guests down to no more than a couple of names, or else they may lose focus. “Either way,” Drü says as she notes down the seemingly never-ending list of Honey’s drag queen friends, “it sounds like we’re throwing a party for someone flamboyant. Let’s think big, ladies.” As the queens discuss their plans, Lady Boi notices that Jessica seems happier than in previous days, but is for some reason holding back from contributing her ideas. “I'm worrying that Jessica is trying to compensate for her erratic behaviour by being quiet and just agreeing with everyone,” Lady Boi says in a confessional. “Which, believe me, is not going to win any of us the hundred thousand dollars.”

Across the room, Team Rafaella get to work on planning their birthday party, but not before Rafaella waves a balloon in a terrified Nicole’s face to amuse herself. The queens begin by listing names of famous New Yorkers that the show could realistically afford. VinChelle suggests Leah Remini, Valentine throws out Lena Dunham’s name and Eva wonders aloud if it may be Joan Rivers, until Nicole reminds her that she’s been dead for four years. “Well, that didn’t stop Morgan McMichaels,” Eva shoots back. As the group reaches a dead end in their guessing and the discussion begins to thin, Rafaella offers her two cents. “Listen, everyone,” she says, standing on the table for some reason. “I have a story to tell.”

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Four

“Three weeks ago, I came to this country as an immigrant,” Rafaella begins, as Nicole whispers to VinChelle that she isn’t sure where this story’s going. “It was an eye-opening experience. By which I mean the customs authorities at LAX checked the insides of my eyelids for smuggled drugs. By that’s beside the point. What I mean to say is that I have been prepared for this trip for a very young age, when, as a child in old Madrid, I first learned to speak the language that you call English. And how, you ask? Well, mi papa would always watch New York Yankees games on the television, and I would watch with him and listen, which may explain why I speak English with the accent of a hot dog vendor. This is all to say that I am ninety nine percent sure our mystery guest is none other than former New York Yankees first baseman Don Mattingly, and all of you should be as sure as I am. Thank you for your time, ladies.” Rafaella stands down from the table.

“I mean, it could be anyone, for now I wouldn’t be so confide-” Eva begins to say before being cut off by Rafaella’s death stare. “Believe me, the party is for Don Mattingly,” she reaffirms, before walking off to get a drink, accidentally stepping on and bursting a balloon as she does so. The rest of her team sit around in stunned silence. In a confessional, Eva worries that the team will be steamrolled by Rafaella and her bizarre stories, and that they’ll lose the challenge as a result.

Before the queens depart to set up their respective parties, Ru returns to the werkroom with a second clue. “Ladies, I hope your parties have plenty of flavour. Our guest would definitely love that,” he says, before tilting his hat to the queens and leaving. Drü’s eyes widen and she whispers something to her team. Rafaella mouths “Don Mattingly” to herself.

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Five

It’s time for the queens to set up their rival parties, ready for the mystery guest to arrive. On Drü’s team, Yvie was placed in charge of ordering props, and has decked her team’s room out in giant golden clocks. Big Dee and Jessica were given the role of decorating the room, and have chosen to paint the walls in a lush purple and furnish the room with high-end leather furniture. Lady Boi and Honey, meanwhile, were placed in charge of food and drink, and decided to order two bags of Doritos and seventy six bottles of champagne to wash them down with. Drü, having overseen the queens in their roles, gives her team the thumbs up, and says in a confessional that she’s glad they managed to come together and correctly guess the mystery guest. “Or, at least, I hope we did. We’ll look like total idiots if it turns out to be, I don’t know, some baseball player or something.”

Meanwhile, in the room next door, Rafaella’s team set up their party under their captain’s strict instructions. As per Rafaella’s specifications, Valentine has decked out the room with baseball bats, photos of baseballs and a giant sign which reads “we love you, Don Mattingly”, while Eva and Nicole have ordered Don’s favourite food and drink for him to enjoy: four graham crackers, an apple, and a pint of carbonated milk. VinChelle has taken some liberty with the furnishings, going against Rafaella’s plan and instead placing a fluffy pink couch in the middle of the room. “I hope Don Mattingly likes pink,” Rafaella says nervously, inspecting the room. “But on the whole, I’m proud of you ladies.”

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Six - The Parties

Party hour is upon us, and first up to throw their birthday party are Team Drü. “I’m so nervous,” Jessica says, wringing her hands and rearranging the cutlery for the fifth time. Yvie gives her a sisterly tight squeeze, and Drü asks the queens to take their places as the guest makes their arrival. The door opens, and in walks the HBIC herself, Tiffany ‘New York’ Pollard. The queens manage to be professional and composed for the best part of a second, before erupting in a chorus of excited screams and other such gay noises. “Oh my god, I worship you,” Lady Boi says, stroking Tiffany’s hair. “Uh, I mean, happy birthday.” Honey invites Tiffany to take a seat as Big Dee cracks open the champagne and Jessica offers round the Doritos. Yvie puts on a playlist of early noughties R&B music and the queens quickly begin asking Tiffany about her life and career, at which point Drü begs her to tell her she looks like Luther Vandross, although she is interrupted by one of the Pit Crew entering and giving Tiffany a lap dance. Towards the end, Jessica brings out a cake that she made herself, and the queens rap Happy Birthday, to which Yvie does an interpretative dance. “I’ve had a lovely time, ladies. I need drag queens to throw me birthday parties more often!” Tiffany says as she leaves, making sure to hug each queen individually. “Bye Pumkin!” shouts Honey through the door, and with that, the party ends. The team breathes a sigh of relief and Drü calls for a group hug. “I reckon we nailed it,” Jessica smiles in a confessional. “Considering how worried I was to begin with, I think things are going a lot better for me than they were last time, let me put it that way.”

Tiffany leaves her first party and makes her way to her second. “Oh wow,” she says to herself as she opens the door and takes in the heavily baseball-themed decor. “This is unexpected.” The queens all smile at Tiffany as she walks into their party, although Rafaella stands on the spot for slightly too long, as if she is waiting for Don Mattingly to follow Tiffany in. “I knew she was leading us in the wrong direction,” Nicole mutters to Valentine as they go to collect the refreshments and carbonated milk. “I should have said something earlier. This is going to be torture.” As Valentine remains at the snack table, staring at a graham cracker and wishing it was something more interesting, Tiffany places herself down on the fluffy pink couch. “I like this couch at least,” she says, tucking into the sole apple that she has been provided with. VinChelle takes credit for the choice of furniture, then gives Rafaella the side eye. Once she gets over her disappointment that she did not meet her childhood hero, Rafaella plays up to her role as host, offering at routine intervals to get Tiffany some more milk and asking her (often unrelated) questions about herself. Tiffany often laughs at these, although a confused Rafaella keeps insisting she isn’t telling any jokes. Sensing the need to liven things up, Nicole decides to perform an impromptu dance routine, despite the lack of music, using one of the spare baseball bats as a prop. Tiffany seems to enjoy this performance and even asks Nicole to teach her some moves. Once Rafaella offers to teach her guest the entirety of the Spanish language, however, Tiffany decides to say her goodbyes, thanking the group for the unique experience but still none-the-wiser as to who Don Mattingly is. In a confessional, Rafaella says that the party didn’t exactly go as planned, but thankfully most of her team (in which she includes herself) stepped up to the bat. “Eva didn’t do anything helpful other than look pretty, and Valentine just stood around staring at a cracker, but other than that I think we did very well. Especially me.”

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Seven

The next day, with both parties having been thrown and with lots of champagne (and milk) drunk, the queens return to the werkroom, where they prepare their outfits for the next runway. There still seems to be tension in Rafaella’s team after their captain’s potentially fatal mistake, and Eva and Valentine sit at the makeup station discussing the previous day’s events. “Rafaella completely steamrolled us and wouldn’t let any of us offer ideas,” Eva says as Valentine nods. In a confessional, Valentine says that she was worried that Eva would be unwilling to work with her following their poorly-received pair performance in the previous challenge, “but luckily we were able to get along and act like adults. Something that Rafaella, bless her heart, seems to struggle with.” Valentine goes on to say that her poor track record in the competition is beginning to weigh on her, as she doesn’t feel that it’s a fair representation of who she is as a drag queen. “If I could just get to Snatch Game, or another sewing challenge, I could blow Ru’s wig off with the things I can do. But right now those challenges seem to be slipping further away with each new week.”

As Drü’s team discuss their respective concepts for this week’s runway, appropriately entitled The Morning After The Night Before, Yvie pulls Jessica aside for a chat to ensure that everything on Planet L’Whor is fine and dandy. “Ya, thank you, it is,” she replies. “I mean, it’s been quite the few days, but that’s water under the bridge now, and I’m just glad we killed this challenge as hard as we did.” Lady Boi walks past, hears their conversation and joins in, saying that she noticed Jessica was being quieter than usual earlier. “Just so you know, we’re all on your side now, all of us. You’re a fierce old bitch and it wasn’t right to see you reserved like that.” Jessica explains that she’d thought a lot about her behaviour over recent days and decided that holding back was the smartest solution, instead of stirring the pot, but this week’s challenge has made her realise that she doesn’t have to keep her mouth closed to be successful in this competition. “I respect all of these queens so much more now because I’ve realised I’m on their level,” she says in a confessional, “and now that these lips are open for business, they sure as hell ain’t gonna shut.”

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Eight - The Runway

Ru walks down the runway and welcomes the judges - Michelle Visage, Ross Mathews, and tonight’s extra special guest judges, comedian, actor and television host Joel McHale and reality TV superstar Tiffany ‘New York’ Pollard - to the show, before introducing the runway theme: The Morning After the Night Before, in which the queens must show off their best hangover drag (and try not to be sick along the way).

-----

Rafaella Pop’s night out seemingly led to some poor life choices, as her beautiful orange dress is not enough to distract from the herpes sores placed around her mouth. She also has extreme bed hair and a strange bite mark on her neck.

Nicole Lynn Foxx is wearing a figure-hugging black leather dress with seven and a half pepperoni pizza slices stuck to the front. An additional pizza slice is perched precariously on top of her head, and her hands are glued together with molten cheese.

VinChelle struts her stuff in an outfit made out of discarded Chinese takeaway menus, with a bed sheet placed around her shoulders as a kind of shawl. She has a takeaway menu in one hand and a TV remote in the other, clearly having a plan for the rest of the day.

Drü Holiday is wearing a torn white wedding dress, with tyre marks and dried blood dotted about the skirt. She is holding a bouquet of decaying red roses, her bride’s veil is ripped in half, she is missing a shoe and a single black mascara teardrop drips down her face.

Yvie Oddly is giving us walk of shame realness, with flesh-coloured material giving the impression of nudity and a giant clump of frizzy black hair covering her face, like a slutty version of the girl from The Ring.

Lady Boi has gone for a basic-white-girl-at-Halloween theme, with her Harley Quinn cosplay spoiled slightly by smeared makeup, exposed knickers and the remnants of last night’s gyro in her cleavage.

Jessica L’Whor has decided to take the concept to the extreme, and graces the runway in a wheelchair, with a bloody nose, a sprained neck and her leg in a plaster cast. Nonetheless, her face is covered in gold glitter makeup, so she probably had a decent night up to that point.

Honey Davenport, dressed in a blood-soaked silver gown, is serving a night at Studio 54 gone awry, with two thirds of a bloody disco ball sticking out of her afro and yet more blood streaked across her face. Through the pain, she still manages to boogie on down the runway.

Big Dee is going for a drag-queen-in-the-morning look, with a messed-up blonde wig, exaggerated panda eyes, a lopsided breast plate, hairy legs, a visible lack of tuck and a Cuban cigar perched between her lips.

Eva Young wears a couture yellow mini dress and chunky clear perspex high heels, one of which is attached only by her ankle and dragging behind her. Something that looks like chili is cascading down the side of the dress and dripping onto her shoes. There’s Mexican food in her hair.

Valentine Addams, in a backless black dress, tries desperately to scrub off the previous night’s vomit stains with a brush as she walks down the runway. She then bursts into tears as she realises she is unable to clean the mess she has made.

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Nine - The Deliberation

Following the runway, and once Ru has handed out the alka seltzer, the queens are gathered for the judges’ critiques. Ru announces that the queens will be judged in their groups, and that Tiffany has made a decision on which group she preferred. “Team Drü, well done, you guys win,” Tiffany smiles, before adding, “Team Rafaella, you can choke.”

For efficiently leading her team to victory, Ru announces that Drü is the winner of this week’s maxi challenge. “I’m amazed that I won my first challenge so early!” Drü says in a confessional. “If I keep this up, the other queens better beware of Drü Holiday.” For her efforts, Drü wins her own extra special birthday party, supplied by Absolut Vodka, to which Drü gives an eager thumbs up. Ru then congratulates Big Dee, Honey, Jessica, Lady Boi and Yvie on their performances in the challenge and that they’re safe. As Team Drü leaves the stage, pushing Jessica off in her wheelchair as they go, Ru turns to Team Rafaella and informs them that they’re all up for elimination.

The judges begin with team leader Rafaella. “I like that you did something unique on the runway tonight,” Joel observes of her herpes-inspired look, “as long as you don’t plan on kissing me afterwards.” The judges then discuss her leadership skills. “I think Kim Jong Un would tell you take things easy,” Ross says, “especially considering you led your team wildly off track.” Michelle says the fact that Rafaella managed to salvage anything out of the mess she created for her team was nothing short of a miracle, but as team captain, she should still be held responsible for not creating a more comfortable environment for “Don. I mean Tiffany.”

Nicole is next, and Tiffany says that she loved her impromptu dance routine, calling it a highlight of the party. “However,” Michelle adds, “I’m kind of meh about this runway look. It’s a cute concept, but it lacks the level of execution that some of these other girls have undertaken. I’d have wanted an entire dress made out of pizza.” VinChelle, on the other hand, is praised for taking takeaway menus and turning them into an outfit, and Ross mentions that he likes the extra touch of the TV remote. “As long as you’re planning to use it to watch one of my upcoming comedy specials,” he adds. Tiffany praises VinChelle for getting at least one detail right in a room full of baseball memorabilia. “I never thought I’d be so grateful to see a fluffy pink couch.”

“You look stunning in that dress,” Joel tells Eva, but Michelle isn’t so kind. “I don’t think this look works for this theme at all. That dress is beautiful, and that’s the problem,” she says. “You look like a supermodel, and you’re the fashion queen of the season so you always do, but it’s not funny. It’s not over-the-top gross. It’s not imaginative. It’s just pretty, give or take a bit of chili sauce.” Ru asks Eva if she’s afraid to make a fool of herself, to which she replies that she doesn’t see herself as one of the most comically-talented queens of the season, so decided to take a more fashion conscious-approach to the runway rather than taking a risk and going for a look that the judges don’t find as funny as she does. “And at the party, I kind of lost you,” Tiffany admits, going through her notes to try and find a mention of Eva’s name. “You didn’t really get involved. Oh, wait, I did write something. It says ‘she looks pretty’.”

Finally, it’s Valentine’s turn for critique. Joel calls her runway look “quite literally sickening”, but Michelle calls it “basic and not particularly original”. As for the challenge, Tiffany says that she felt Valentine seemed bored, and was wishing that she’d come and talk to her but she never did. This leads Ross to bring up Valentine’s track record. “You seem like such a talented queen,” he says, “but this is the third consecutive week of you being in danger. I hate to say it, but maybe Drag Race isn’t right for you right now.”

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Ten - The Deliberation, cont.

Backstage, Team Drü discusses who they think will be in the bottom, with everyone throwing Rafaella’s name into the mix. Team Rafaella then joins them, with Big Dee throwing a balloon at Nicole and a resigned Valentine being comforted by her sisters, especially Eva, as Rafaella learns her lyrics. Once the judges have deliberated, Team Rafaella are called back to the main stage, where Ru has made the necessary decisions.

“VinChelle… you’re safe.”

“Nicole Lynn Foxx, this week, you gave us a pizza your mind… literally. You’re safe.”

“Eva Young, I’m afraid your performance in the challenge was not… in fashion. Valentine Addams, this week, your vomit-inspired outfit left us needing to call... emetic. Rafaella Pop, this week, your Don Mattingly party was less Don Juan, more… Don Lost.”

“...Rafaella Pop, you’re safe.”

Rafaella’s eyes widen and she asks RuPaul to repeat herself, in case she’d misheard the first time. On Ru’s advice, Rafaella leaves the stage and is greeted, mostly warmly, by her slightly shocked fellow queens, leaving Eva Young and Valentine Addams as the bottom two. “I can’t believe that Eva’s there,” Lady Boi says in a confessional. “None of us would have predicted this, not a single one.”

“Two queens stand before me,” Ru continues. “This is your last chance to impress me, and save yourself from elimination.” Valentine says it may be “second time unlucky” for her, but she’s going to have fun no matter what. “I don’t want to have to lip sync against my Chicago girl,” Eva confesses, “but a queen’s gotta do what a queen’s gotta do.”

“The time has come, for you to lip sync, for your life. Good luck, and don't **** it up...”

Episode #4 - Party Like a Mothertucker
Part Eleven - The Lip Sync

https://i.imgur.com/BVrY7aJ.png https://i.imgur.com/Rx1UTPW.png

Eva Young vs. Valentine Addams
Amazing (Hi Fashion)



Both queens manage to briefly hide their emotion and put on a fun show for the judges. The song allows them to adopt characters, and at one point it becomes a competition between Eva and Valentine as to who can play the bigger bitch. Ultimately, Eva’s lip sync is tighter and more focused, her supermodel walks and poses work for her in spite of a lack of extensive dancing, and a moment in which she slips out of her dress to reveal a lace bra and panties seals the deal. Valentine, in comparison, seems to be having a good time dancing about the stage, but it becomes apparent that she’s just making it up as she goes along.

After the lip sync finishes and the queens applaud their two sisters, Ru reveals her decision.

“Eva Young, shantay you stay,” she declares. Eva thanks Ru and goes to hug Valentine. “Show ‘em what you’re made of, girl,” she tells her sister before going to the back of the stage.

“Valentine Addams,” Ru continues. “You’re creepy and you’re kooky, and you’re mysteriously spooky, but girl, you’re part of our family now. Now, sashay away.”

Valentine gives a short speech about what Drag Race has meant to her as an opportunity for going on to even bigger, better things, before high-fiving her fellow queens on the way out and bellowing “CHICAGOOO” as she leaves.

Backstage, Valentine says that she feels bittersweet about her elimination, as she had accepted that it was her time to go, but wishes that she’d somehow managed to stay a little longer to show Ru that there was “more to her than just the chunky goth girl”. She’s stopped in her tracks, however, by the ominous sound of Ru’s voice blaring out of the TV screen. “Don’t lose hope yet, my queen,” it says. “For the race is long.”

“Oh lord, here we go again,” Valentine laughs with more than just a little apprehension in her voice.

To be continued...

Originally Posted by Ammi (Post 9945196) ...Valentine..:sad:..Valentine had her day and sashayed away...I think I might have voted for her to sashay in the survey as well...this is brutal MB...

Originally Posted by MB. (Post 9945400) Who knew a competition between a bunch of men in wigs could get so brutal? :laugh: Glad you're enjoying, even without Valentine

Originally Posted by Ammi (Post 9953084) ..I’m still thinking about Amanda Bang going first...as she was feeling so worthless compared to the other queens anyway...so to be the first sashayed away was awful and brutal..:sad:... ..I think we need an ‘after story’ for them all as well, MB...

Originally Posted by MB. (Post 9929836) Depending on how many responses I get, and also on whether or not my laptop decides to work, the episodes will be every two days or so, meaning this should all be wrapped up in about a month.

Episode #5 - Snatch Game
Part One

Scene: the werkroom, after Valentine’s elimination.

“Aww, Val,” Drü frowns as the remaining queens mourn the departure of their good Judy. “Things are about to get a lot quieter around these parts.” Eva, visibly still a little shaken by her close shave with elimination, wipes the mirror clean.

“Today may not have been Valentine’s day, but you gon see a lot more of me. Stay hot my hunnies <3”

“We were finally becoming such a cute little family,” says Eva with cloth in hand, “and now we’re not going to be one for much longer. It’s kind of a shame.” Lady Boi jokes that “this ain’t RuPaul’s Best Family Race!” as she removes her wig and mimes throwing it at Yvie. Honey calls for a round of applause for Drü, as the latest maxi challenge winner, after which Drü throws her bridal bouquet into the air. Rafaella catches it and runs off before Nicole can grab it off her.

“Ladies, week five!” Jessica exclaims, chilling in her wheelchair from the previous runway, after realising how far the queens have come. “Can you be-weave it?” With this playing on her mind, VinChelle talks in a confessional about what she wants from the coming weeks: “I haven’t won a challenge yet, and the clock is ticking. It’s time to stand out.” In another confessional, Big Dee says that the further they get through the competition, the tougher things are going to get. “We can’t just sit back and coast now that we’re reaching the halfway mark. Each and every one of us knows we have to step our pussies up, me included, and we also know that things are about to get nastier as the claws come out. Well, meow, bitches.”

Episode #5 - Snatch Game
Part Two

The next morning, the queens file into the werkroom and gather in the usual spot. “I’ve never seen you look so rested,” Big Dee jokes to Nicole. “I’m guessing you didn’t have any nightmares about balloons.” At this, Nicole looks sheepish. “Well, I did have an… interesting dream,” she says as her eyes glance across the table to Drü and Eva, and as the other queens react with about as much maturity as the situation would warrant. "We’ve been locked away here for weeks, you can’t blame me for dreaming about kai kai-ing now and again!” she continues in an attempt to defend herself and her wet dreams. “This is a family show, girl,” VinChelle replies. “I don’t need to be hearing about your threesomes at breakfast time.”

On that bombshell, boy Ru strides into the werkroom and announces this week’s mini challenge: the queens each have twenty minutes to drag up a troll doll, with the most creative queen winning. Big Dee complains that Eva and Lady Boi have an unfair advantage in the challenge (“don’t tell me these queens don’t still play with dolls. They’re, like, twelve”) as the others get to work making over their trolls. Once Ru announces that time’s up, the queens put on a mini fashion show to display their creations. The winner is Honey, whose doll Trollnacia consists of a dragged-up troll doll with another troll doll’s decapitated head stuck on top, covered entirely in sequins. After Ru announces that Trollnacia will from now on be permanently displayed in the Museum of Modern Art by way of Honey’s prize, the topic of conversation moves from mini challenge to maxi challenge. “Namely,” Ru teases, “a little something that we like to call the Gatch Sname. No, wait, that’s not right. Snatch Game. Yep, that’s the one.”

The queens cheer with varying degrees of enthusiasm, with VinChelle especially clapping like a hyperactive seal. Big Dee confesses that she’s been waiting for the Snatch Game, and the chance to humorously impersonate a celebrity, since she got on the show in the first place. “And considering my track record, I need all the success that Ru might throw my way.” Eva acknowledges in a confessional that Snatch Game can make or break a queen, and with a troubled few weeks behind her, she’s crossing her fingers and other such extremities that she’ll manage to get back on top with this challenge. Several queens go around the room and ask one another which celebrities they plan to impersonate: Yvie flings her arms wide and screams “Opraaah Winfreeeey!” in an eerily accurate tone of voice, Rafaella announces she’ll be playing Taylor Swift and that she has the range of wigs to prove it, Eva tells Lady Boi that tonight, Matthew, she’s going to be Yoko Ono, VinChelle produces a pair of large white fake breasts to indicate her choice of Stormy Daniels, and Big Dee gives her personal approval to Jessica’s choice of iconic drag queen Miss Coco Peru (“but if you screw it up, I’m cutting your wigs”).

Episode #5 - Snatch Game
Part Three

Having popped out for a fag and a Wispa, Ru returns to quiz the queens on their Snatch Game selections. First up, Nicole, who has decided to impersonate reality star and former White House staffer Omarosa. “She’s just such a ridiculous personality,” she explains to Ru. “It should hopefully be quite easy to make fun of her and generate some comedy from that, especially if I can try and play off of VinChelle as Stormy.” While she admits that improvisational character comedy isn’t her forte, she says is up for the challenge, which Ru clarifies just in case there was any doubt (“you have to make Omarosa funny”). Also having contemplated weaving politics into Snatch Game glory, Lady Boi taks Ru through her options. “Well, I was going to do Tomi Lahren, but I had a hard time finding the white hood and burning cross. So I’m doing the next worst thing: Derrick Barry.” In a confessional, she elaborates that one deciding factor in not choosing Tomi was seeing Jessica’s reaction to a joke made by Big Dee in relation to the Trump administration. “I think it’s best to avoid touchy subjects around certain queens here, although at times it feels as though we’re having to walk on eggshells. Which, in six inch heels, isn’t easy.”

Heading clockwise around the werkroom, Ru asks Yvie about her Snatch Game choice, noting that a lot of people do Oprah impressions and that she’ll have to do something extra special to stand out. “Especially considering you don’t look a whole deal alike,” Ru adds, to which Yvie feigns mock offence before Ru wishes her luck. She then turns to Drü, who it transpires is in something of a quandary, having acknowledged that she has a standard to maintain as last week’s challenge winner. “I have several ideas for who to impersonate,” Drü tells Ru, before reeling off a list consisting of fashion designer Vivienne Westwood, feminist activist Gloria Steinem, Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour and Sunset Boulevard actress Gloria Swanson, each of which she has brought a separate outfit for. “I guess I wanted to show that I have fairly old school, eccentric tastes, I’m not just some young, arty queen living in a vacuum,” she explains. “The job now, I guess, is to decide which one I’m doing. At this moment in time, I’m most confident with Vivienne Westwood.” As Drü shows off a snippet of her old northern English lady accent, Ru reminds her that whoever she ends up impersonating, the goal is to “make me laugh”, and doesn’t want to see her get so bogged down in her own ideas that she forgets about the comedy part of the challenge. “I promise I won’t let you down, ma’am,” is Drü’s response.

Episode #5 - Snatch Game
Part Four

Big Dee is next to be interrogated, and Ru’s eyebrows raise as much as the Botox will allow when he sees what looks like a man’s wig on Big Dee’s work bench. “Either you’re doing Dame Judi Dench,” Ru says, “or that’s a menses, Maury.” When Big Dee explains that she’ll be impersonating none other than Ross Mathews, Ru reacts as someone who just swallowed a particularly large fly might. Once she’s finished choking, Ru asks what led her to make such an awful decision (I’m paraphrasing). Big Dee seems surprised that Ru is so immediately sceptical. “I know it’s an unconventional pick, but I was thinking, or hoping, I could make it work. But now you’re making me doubt that!” Ru says that in her experience, highly risky Snatch Game choices go one of two ways, and she doesn’t want Big Dee to take a risk that could damage her chances unless she’s completely confident. “Well, I have a backup option,” Big Dee says, “in the form of Janice Dickinson, who’s somebody I adore and have done in the past. And maybe it’ll be best not to question RuPaul on this occasion.” Finally, Ru spots Honey dressing up in her Nina Simone outfit and is already on board, but asks to hear some of her impersonation anyway. Honey drawls something or other about jazz that has Ru in hysterics, and in a confessional hopes that Snatch Game proves she’s more than just a pageant queen.

Big Dee, who is in the process of swapping her original choice of Ross Mathews for the somewhat safer Janice Dickinson, notices that Drü is struggling to finalise her celebrity. Drü asks for “an old bitch’s advice” on the matter, and Big Dee takes her over to the sofas to talk. Drü puts on a mini talent show for Big Dee, giving her excerpts of each of her potential impersonations. “Personally, I’m leaning towards doing Vivienne, but I definitely need a second opinion on the matter,” Drü says, taking off her Anna Wintour wig. Big Dee pulls a pensive face. “I’m not sure, girl,” she says as Drü begins to look worried, but nods along anyway. “From one queen to another, I’m not sure that your Vivienne’s strong enough. I know it’s pretty late in the day, but I enjoyed your Gloria Swanson most, so if I were you I’d switch to her. But hey, it’s up to you, honey.” As Drü mulls over her options and Big Dee’s advice, Dee admits in a confessional that she did in fact think Drü’s Vivienne Westwood was the strongest of her potential choices. “But I’m not going to tell her that, am I? Truthfully, I didn’t think much of her Gloria Swanson, but the farther we get through this competition, the more ruthless I’m going to have to get to make sure that Ru sees my star shine. Any queen that isn’t me going home at this stage is a bonus, and if that just so happens to be last week’s winner, then it’d be even better. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, and sorry Drü, but you’re the bait.”

Episode #5 - Snatch Game
Part Five (Note Form)

Episode #5 - Snatch Game
Part Six (Note Form)

The Lip Sync

https://i.imgur.com/VWbC5ru.png https://i.imgur.com/g0eQdoz.png

Drü Holiday vs. VinChelle
Because the Night (Patti Smith)