The obsequious, sycophantic, shameless, grovelling posts on here makes me ashamed to be a TIBBY.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
ARE YOU SO DESPERATE TO WIN?
Anyway, now my rant is out of the way, I will come to the reason why I am posting:
I have been informed by the doctors who are tending me during my long hospital stay that I have only 2 weeks left at most before I shuffle off this 'Mortal Coil'.
I have no time to waste as the precious moments elapse so very, very quickly, and so I want so much to thank each and every one of you for the pleasure and stimulation which your posts have brought into an old man's pitifully sad and desperately lonely life.
http://i.ytimg.com/vi/C0HZgDQ5wus/maxresdefault.jpg
THIS IS PROBABLY THE VERY LAST PHOTOGRAPH WHICH WILL EVER BE TAKEN OF ME
I have long forgotten what the warmth of another human's embrace feels like having lived alone for the past 43 years - ever since I lost my beloved wife in Blackpool (I'm not sure whether I did lose her or if she ran off but anyway she never came home) - and I had only my little doggy for company but even he deserted me when he ran off with a Taiwanese chef who befriended him and wanted to take him home for dinner, that left the local vicar as my only visitor, but even he stopped visiting and though I reported him to the 'Missing Parsons' Bureau I never heard anything more.
Anyway, for the last few years at least I have had you beautiful, wonderful, loving, kind, gorgeous, intellectual, knowledgeable, good-looking and caring decent people as friends and that has brought some light into my lonely cell of shadows.
Please excuse me while I dry my tear-filled eyes with another kleenex - I think I still have enough strength to reach out for the box.
Where was I.... Oh, yes, you beautiful TIBBIES.
I have always tried to be as active a contributor on here as possible because.... Oh please excuse me again, there are 12 people just turned up at my bedside - Oh it's just the collectors to pick up my weekly cash charity donations. I always split my pension into 12 envelopes for CHARITY because I love to help others all those whose needs are greater than mine.
I mean - What do I need? I can't eat food anymore having no teeth left, due to had them all being knocked out when I was viscously mugged by three drunken 'Little Sisters of The Poor' nuns 30 years ago at a Fund-Raising Black Sabbath concert. (The last time that I was able to walk unaided if my failing memory serves).
I haven't even slept with another person for decades and used to get terribly depressed about not having sex until I took myself in hand.
Anyway, I digress.
I just wanted to say a loving 'Goodbye' to all of you dear sweet friends.
I hope that I make it until the results of this wonderful competition so that I can congratulate the worthy wonderfully desrving ever so beautiful winners.
It is so sad to think that this will be my last chance to win anything on here, though I know that I have no chance because I am just a wretched member and so undeserving, but I will close my old tired eyes now and at least dream that I have won, after all, dreams are all I have left.
Thank you and Goodbye my dear, dear, sweet friends, it is pleasing to think that in years to come you will remember me now and then and think of me with the same fondness which I have for you all.
Goodbye (and don't think that this a ploy to make you vote for me - it is honestly and truthfully not and I swear to that on blessed Saint ToySoldier and all the other Saints.)
:bawling:
