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Withano 11-05-2013 11:07 PM
Your Horoscope. Srsly
 
The Real Horoscope:

ARIES
Spoiler:

You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a **** about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding.


TAURUS
Spoiler:

Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss.


GEMINI
Spoiler:

Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply, you're a neurotic schizophrenic. A real ****ing weirdo, the type of person who'd kill themself to win a bet.


CANCER
Spoiler:

You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscrupulous bastard who would sell relative's limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.


LEO
Spoiler:

The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the welfare.


VIRGO
Spoiler:

You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bull****ting and you're a cheap bastard. Virgo men are usually gay and the majority of Virgo women are *****s.


LIBRA
Spoiler:

You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.


SCORPIO
Spoiler:

You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You always have snot on your clothes.


SAGITTARIUS
Spoiler:

You are the romantic type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. You thrive on incest.


CAPRICORN
Spoiler:

You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centred **** and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.


AQUARIUS
Spoiler:

You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.


PISCES
Spoiler:

You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. You're a prick.


Discuss:

Josy 11-05-2013 11:19 PM
Bit rude :idc:

Kizzy 11-05-2013 11:24 PM
I am a reformed ***** actually... :idc:

GypsyGoth 11-05-2013 11:46 PM
:laugh2:

Black Dagger 11-05-2013 11:47 PM
You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centred **** and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.

.... not quite

Marcus. 11-05-2013 11:56 PM
what the stars

Marsh. 12-05-2013 12:25 AM
Academic? :eek: I'm really not. I can't cope at uni.

Oh and, no I'm not a pervert either.

Ammi 12-05-2013 04:59 AM
LEO:....The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the welfare...

..this is so scarily accurate, you could be the new Mystic Meg, BB...

AnnieK 12-05-2013 06:18 AM
PISCES

You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. You're a prick.

Pretty much spot on...:laugh:

Ninastar 12-05-2013 08:14 AM
You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You always have snot on your clothes.

omfg i do pick my nose

and omfg omfg i do always have snot on my clothes. i have to wash them every say.

i dont screw small animals though.

arista 12-05-2013 08:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 08marsh (Post 5988180)
Academic? :eek: I'm really not. I can't cope at uni.

Oh and, no I'm not a pervert either.

You mean Not Yet a...

Withano 12-05-2013 12:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ammi (Post 5988373)

..this is so scarily accurate, you could be the new Mystic Meg, BB...
Haha, I didn't write it but my Aries wasn't far off either

Marsh. 12-05-2013 12:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by arista (Post 5988427)
You mean Not Yet a...
:hmph:


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