I need a joke
 

In my house we have a white board and I like to write a joke on it. Someone give me a good joke to put on it.

josy

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.

Smithy, I have a white board. I am not giving them an essay to read. :idc:

that one then

Although this made me chuckle.

Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/d...inerjokes.html

Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines

I've recently taken up playing golf, I'm not bad but I've still got a fairway to go

What is wrong with you lot. These are awful. :bored:

Just been on a once in a lifetime holiday, never again - Timothy Vine

What do you call a man watch a spade in his head?....

..

Q: What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A: A rip off.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/d...inerjokes.html

What do you call a man without a spade in his head ??

.. Douglas!! Lolololololololx2

Me and my friend recently decided to have a whole day of watching films back to back. Fortunately I was the one facing the telly

Oh GOD Lee has entered and she is drunk. Everyone run and take cover.

:joker:

That is a good one. :laugh:

"I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could just be a Chinese Wispa."

Drunk? Me? Pfft

my life