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Old 27-09-2013, 01:02 AM #1
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Default I need a joke
In my house we have a white board and I like to write a joke on it. Someone give me a good joke to put on it.
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Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
Niamh is younger than me and far more beautiful
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:02 AM #2
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josy
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You're giving me a million reasons about a million reasons
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:05 AM #3
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ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:05 AM #4
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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:05 AM #5
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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:05 AM #6
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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:07 AM #7
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Smithy, I have a white board. I am not giving them an essay to read.
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Originally Posted by MTVN

Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
Niamh is younger than me and far more beautiful
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:07 AM #8
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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben View Post
Smithy, I have a white board. I am not giving them an essay to read.
that one then
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:08 AM #9
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Originally Posted by Smithy View Post
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
Although this made me chuckle.
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Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
Niamh is younger than me and far more beautiful
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:09 AM #10
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Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/d...inerjokes.html
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:09 AM #11
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Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:11 AM #12
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I've recently taken up playing golf, I'm not bad but I've still got a fairway to go
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:12 AM #13
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What is wrong with you lot. These are awful.
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Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
Niamh is younger than me and far more beautiful
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:14 AM #14
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Just been on a once in a lifetime holiday, never again - Timothy Vine
Last edited by King Gizzard; 27-09-2013 at 01:18 AM.
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:15 AM #15
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What do you call a man watch a spade in his head?....

..
Spoiler:

doug
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:15 AM #16
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Q: What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A: A rip off.

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Old 27-09-2013, 01:16 AM #17
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What do you call a man without a spade in his head ??
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:16 AM #18
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.. Douglas!! Lolololololololx2
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:17 AM #19
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Me and my friend recently decided to have a whole day of watching films back to back. Fortunately I was the one facing the telly
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:18 AM #20
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Oh GOD Lee has entered and she is drunk. Everyone run and take cover.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MTVN

Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
Niamh is younger than me and far more beautiful
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:18 AM #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MTVN View Post
Me and my friend recently decided to have a whole day of watching films back to back. Fortunately I was the one facing the telly
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MTVN

Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
Niamh is younger than me and far more beautiful
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:19 AM #22
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That is a good one.
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:28 AM #23
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"I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could just be a Chinese Wispa."
Last edited by Mrluvaluva; 27-09-2013 at 01:30 AM.
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:31 AM #24
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Oh GOD Lee has entered and she is drunk. Everyone run and take cover.
Drunk? Me? Pfft
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:47 AM #25
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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
my life
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