A new jokes thread to cheer up mock
 

Mock seems to be on a 'downer' lately, so I suggest another 'Joke Thread' to lift that spirit.


What does The Starship Enterprise and Andrex toilet paper have in common:

Good one Kirk. It's not just Mock that needs cheering up:laugh: It's a bit early in the day, but I'll try to add to this post later.

Haha a good post Kirk, and thanks for the thread.:dance:

What does Ed Milliband and David Cameron have in common? They're both incompetent.

:laugh: More like my old Mock.

:joker:

Kyle: "Can I buy you a drink"?
Girl: "Sorry, but I've had my limit for tonight. If I drink too much alcohol it's bad for my legs".
Kyle: "Why does it make them swell?
Girl: "No. It makes them spread."

:joker: if only



Kirk is in his prayer chamber talking to God.

"God, how long is a million years?"

God answers,

"To me my boy, it's about a minute."

"God, how much is a million dollars?"

"To me lad, it's a penny."

Kirk strokes his chin for a second

"God, may I have a penny?"

........

........

"Wait a minute."

:laugh: More.

Why did humpty dumpy push his girlfriend off the wall?

He wanted to see her crack

What does Aston Villa and myself have in common? We both can't score.

What was seen as a big trait for Jimmy Saville? He liked to kid around.

What organ do some people live in the UK? Liverpool.

:joker::joker::joker: A great yoke... I mean Joke.

:joker: More Mock.

What do people say about people giving cheek? Just insert it inbetween.

What does Phil Collins and The Bible have in common? They both was apart of Genesis.

Kid pushing a wheelbarrow asked his dad "Is it true God is everywhere dad" dad replies" Yes,son,God is everywhere",kid says "Well I wish he'de get out of this barrow it's bloody heavy":hehe:

:joker::joker:

:joker:

:laugh:

Little Billy walks in on his parents as they're having sex in the missionary position. Mum is really embarrassed and says:

"It's OK Billy, Daddy's just pumping me back up a bit, I'm a little bit deflated this morning".

Billy replies:

"Woah, you must have a serious puncture Mam, I heard Mr Collins from next door pumping you up for most of the night while Dad was at work."

:joker:

Why did Mock cross the road?

I love this thread. It's cheering me up so much! :joker:

My wife asked me what my plans are for Easter?




I said: The same as Jesus', disappear Friday, show up Monday.

I was horrified to hear during the leaders debate Nigel Farage quoting the number of foreigners coming here to be treated for HIV.



Bloody foreigners coming here taking our jabs.