The risque jokes that might get me into some hot water thread.
 

Full warning is in the thread title, I do promise that I mean no malice towards any group, it is just a joke.

Fair enough if some of these jokes don't land for you personally, but please understand what the intention is meant to be.

Joke 1 - Joe Biden after seeing England play against Switzerland https://e3.365dm.com/24/06/1600x900/...20240628055739 that picture was taken 15 seconds before he asked how England got on against Switzerland.

Joke 2 - The most popular boys names in England 2024.

1. John Smith
2. Locke Smith
3. Black Smith
4. David Smith
5. Steven Smith
6. Jim Smith
7. Alan Smith
8. Jeremy Smith
9. Paul Smith
10. Mohammed Smith
11. Oliver Smith
12. Nigel Smith

Joke 3 - The menu at an Italian Restaurant.

1. Pasta
2. Magherita Pizza
3. Pepparoni Pizza
4. "Vegan" Pizza
5. A "Special" Surprise Pizza (don't ask what's in it)
6. Chocolate Pizza
7. Even more Pizza

Joke 4 - When a Brummie prepares to take a Mensa test, they strip off in the nude expecting to have intercourse with Wolves goalkeeper Jose Sa.

Joke 5 - When France played Republic Of Ireland in the 2010 Qualifiers, France realized that they were too **** to get back into the game off of their own talent, so they felt like that they needed a hand.

Joke 6 - Ten things that the average Japanese male thinks about everyday.

1. Anime
2. Anime Girls
3. Action Figures of Anime Girls
4. Maths
5. Rice
6. Fish
7. Gacha Games
8. Nintendo
9. Dragon Quest
10. Hentai

Joke 7 - Donald Trump when he realizes that he can't "grab em by the pussy."

https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.2bc4c1e3...pid=ImgRaw&r=0

Joke 8 - Ten popular surnames in Slovenia.

1. Sillybic
2. Fukdabic
3. Wattabic
4. Weetabic (thanks Zizu for that one.)
5. Nicebic
6. Dumbbic
7. Horriblebic
8. Whybic
9. Sorrybic
10. Dave

Joke 9 - Incels when they see a woman talk to what the Incels call a "chad," instead of them.

https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.wq1k9e...pid=ImgDetMain

Joke 10 - I went to James Corden's house to make him feel better, I wanted to egg him on to getting back to what he does best and where he is in a league of his own... Being a complete and utter idiot.

Joke 11 - Wayne Rooney's time as Birmingham City Manager.

I do apologize if Jokes 1-10 crossed the line for anyone, but I do like comedy, so hopefully you all got something out of this thread.

And hopefully you've all got some good jokes of your own? I especially imagine that @Alf has a few that he would like to share... Besides being an Everton supporter.:hehe:

The risque jokes that might get me into some hot water thread.
 

Slight tangent but I saw a clip of an American stand up ‘comedienne ’ on YouTube last night which I found abhorrent !

She asked how many women had lost friends recently due to them all having babies and drifting away .

Then she said “ anyone else hoping they LOSE their babies ? “


WTF

In what universe would that be found humorous ???


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

That's one of those jokes that's probably funnier in your head than in actual execution, especially when nobody else is laughing.

How about this....


I used to be a necrophilliac, until some rotten **** spilt on me.:shrug:

What's the bleeped out word meant to be?:laugh:

And here's two more jokes on my end (apologies to the female members in advance.)
















Joke 1 - A rapist when he realizes he is in a consensual relationship https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.4a28cfc7...pid=ImgRaw&r=0




Joke 2 - The Danish Police when they see a woman fight off her rapist https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.2a77a8a6...pid=ImgRaw&r=0

@Mystic Mock.

C you next Wednesday.

When will you be posting the jokes?

:joker:

How are you doing Slim?

Okay, thanks.:laugh:

But do you get the joke?

I think so.

All good in the hood, my sister :smug:

Omg.:joker:

Is it risque enough?

I would say so, yes.:laugh:

A man had an accident at work and phoned his wife. "You'll never guess what's happened", he said, "I've cut my finger off!"
"What, the whole finger?" She asked.
"No, the one next to it".