Quote:
Originally Posted by kirklancaster
I agree.
We are all - to an extent - the product of what life makes us. I too have changed because of being taken advantage of throughout my life.
I have always had a (too) giving nature and was always ruled by my heart rather than my head. I always helped anyone, and I used to be 'oh so passionate' about causes - especially 'lost' ones - and had a tendency to fight for the 'underdog'.
Well, now I believe in the adage that; "No good turn ever went unpunished".
Because 99% of people I have helped turned out to be turds, and most of the 'good deeds' I have ever done came back to haunt and actually hurt me.
With one notable exception, no money which I have ever lent to 'friends' (some quite substantial amounts) have ever been 'voluntarily' repaid. Nothing I have ever lent to 'friends' in need who asked to borrow them - from new books, DVD collections, tools, even a very expensive drill - have ever been 'voluntarily' returned.
People do change as they grow older - and not always for the best - and we all 're-invent' ourselves or become 'other' types with different outlooks and attitudes at different stages of our lives.
This sadly, includes some - but thankfully, not all - 'friends'.
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..yeah, I do think that circumstances/environment etc do rule certain things and certain behaviours etc to an extent...but I also think that if someone does 'take advantage'..if we feel that..?..then really it would just be to make some decisions as to whether we wanted to keep that friendship, resolve things but not for us ourselves to change because of someone else's behaviour toward us when it's they're behaviour that is questionable, not our own etc...because then we wouldn't be being true to ourselves and who we are and we would be allowing them to take something good about ourselves/something trusting away from us..?..it just wouldn't make sense to me to allow someone to do that...
...hmmmm, I guess lending money to friends is a tricky one...also because in many cases, just being in the position of feeling that you need to borrow money could mean that you maybe can't pay it back or would find it difficult and a struggle so to me that would be like increasing that person or friend's debt..(obviously I'm generalising..).my dad always said..never lend anything that you can't afford to give and that's something that I also believe in...that if I was in a position to help and felt that I wanted to, then I would but I would never expect any financial repayment because then I would be adding to that friend's debt..and also leaving myself open to feeling let down when the decision to lend was mine...just to know that it had helped would be the thing... or maybe I would see if I could help in other ways that didn't involve money etc...