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Originally Posted by Toy Soldier
And yours, rubymoo.
Regarding it being a person's on responsibility (mentioned earlier, only just saw it now) I think it's very complicated. For a lot of people, and certainly for my mother, they feel like they are already gone and so seeking help is pointless.
Like I mentioned she was terrified and filled with regret in her death bed. It was horrific, to be honest. But her regret wasn't for any one incident or for that final year that killed her, she wasn't scared to die in the sense of wanting to go back to the life she had, her regret was that she would have taken back and completely redone the last fifteen or twenty years of her life. She felt like it was too late for her, that the "her" she knew and had wanted and expected to be had already been dead for years. I'll be brutally honest and say that I too feel like my mum, as a person, has been dead for a decade but she's only been physically gone for a year.
Anyway... I guess my point is that it's a catch 22. A person can only get help for themselves and in the end, can only help themselves - but to be interested in seeking help a person already needs to have that faint spark of hope in there somewhere. And that's half the battle. For those who feel completely hopeless, asking or telling them to seek help for themselves is quite pointless.
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I'm sorry to hear that about your mom TS
