[Yuki Maru Hoshi]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Sure. Very little really matters, especially not words! I never understood why people care so much about what other people can say, why give them the power to rattle your cage?

Of course words matter, Oliver! ...Well, at least somewhat ... it's good to get other people's perspectives, even when somewhat negative. In my art program, my skin was boiling and repeatedly shedding itself from all the jealous h8te I received (kidding)

But actually... sometime it's even worse if someone almost never receives criticism. They never develop a way of coping and find themselves unusually distressed in those situations maybe? I was really hungry for it when I was younger, which attracted really "interesting" people into my life early on as I must have been like a sponge... but I kinda feel like I'm much happier now because I sought the criticism or at least stood there while it was being thrown at me. Where I come from, we don't really mince words... so better to get over your thin skin issues when you are younger, whereas when you are older it can really be a stressor.

Just find some perspective. If someone says something mean, it's either probably in response to some offense you might have given without realising, or they're just a crappy person whose opinions are all bitter anyway. Either way, in about seven-ten hours you'll be comfy in bed anyway, words won't change that.

Apart from obvious stuff, like taking offense at every little thing? Probably being constantly bitchy with no need, it's probably a defense mechanism.

Yeah, and I think receiving criticism is probably more harmful for those folk online than in real life (the bitchy types). People don't really hold back online because there's no person in front of you to hold them accountable, but I think... some people are just naturally "crabby" as a personality anyway..,

Also you're completely right, keeping perspective is so important and I think really key to having/developing/keeping a thick skin. And sometimes, we just need to trust our own gut, like if someone is personally picking on us... if something doesn't feel right, then just walk away, have faith in yourself that you can judge the situation accurately without stooping to the gas-lighting... Though sometimes, if you really care about someone (like a spouse) or feel maybe someone a grip on something we ourselves maybe have issues with, it's good to let our guard down at least a bit and let some soak in... but better to mull it over than to respond immediately.

Some sensitive folk think that having a thick skins means we have to bounce back right away or always have some kind of answer to a criticism... actually, I think stepping away and thinking about the words when we have a clearer mind is ideal. But sometimes a response is not even worth it... especially if it something not even worth having an argument over.


TiBB also has it's own variant of trash talk, which funny enough, is one reason I am attracted to this place because it doesn't feel as superficial (as an environment anyway)... like half the people in this thread saying "no" to the poll question. I would've never thought they had any issues with criticism. But that just shows we don't always know what other people are feeling about other people's words... I'm like Amy, I would probably be hurt if people I cared about had harsh words for me. But I think sitting with them and taking it means I am giving their feelings more consideration than I would normally...