[Z]

Not a debate per se because there's no question, just an open discussion that'll hopefully turn into a debate in some tangent . What kinds of love have affected you, personally? What do you think love should be?

I don't think love (in the most general sense) is something that I'm aware of all the time. It takes a poignant moment for me to realise it or to be reminded of it; and I often forget that I love the people I hurt the most - which I think is true of most people. I get into arguments with my family or I ignore them or I complain about them, yet when anything even slightly bad happens to them I'd be the first one there to fight their corner. In summer, I went on a family holiday and fought with my younger brother so much to the point where I angrily told my parents I would never go on a holiday with him again and resolved to ignore him for the rest of the time I was at home. I got assaulted a month later and he was the first person to help me when I burst in through the front door and helped me identify the people who did it. Why is it that we go from such extremes with those we love?

So that's platonic love that you have with your family and friends. What about relationships? People throw the word around flimsily because they feel it necessary to convince themselves and/or others of their feelings; but then again it's often callous to not say it aloud every once in a while. How do you know when you're in love? How can people go from being in love, genuinely it seemed at one time, to being so sick of each other that they split up for good? Similarly, why do people cheat on those they love? Why keep things from people you love?

Insightful outpourings from the heart, gogogo! Soppy and cynical views are all welcome.

[Kerry]

Flippin' 'eck Zee. Thats one for discussion

Right, firstly and obviously is my daughter. It's just impossible to describe pure and simple. I'd rip my heart out for her bare handed if she needed it. She's my world and I'd die for her

My OH knows me inside out and we've been together 17 years and know each other inside out. It's comfortable. It's affectionate. It's um.... (will leave to the imagination) and it's just, 'us'

Family is always odd. My best mate actually means more to me than most of my family. Not all, but some. Yep, love them and tell them so being the soppy cow I am but nothing can compare to the above

[InOne]

The concept for what love is was invented by humans. It's really just a chemical in your brain that tricks you into breeding

[lily.]

Originally Posted by ~Kerry~

Right, firstly and obviously is my daughter. It's just impossible to describe pure and simple. I'd rip my heart out for her bare handed if she needed it. She's my world and I'd die for her

My OH knows me inside out and we've been together 17 years and know each other inside out. It's comfortable. It's affectionate. It's um.... (will leave to the imagination) and it's just, 'us'

This post could have been written by me..

(except that I have a son also, who I feel as much for.. and, I've been with my OH for 18 years.. )

But, Kerry summed it up well.

[Princess]

What is it people say? That if you don't know whether you've ever been in love that you definitely havn't been. I've never been in love but I wholeheartly believe it exists.

As for platonic love,you hurt the people you love the most cos you know they'll be there for you. I have friends and family I'd do anything for and I know they'd do the same for me. Surely that's love.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by InOne

The concept for what love is was invented by humans. It's really just a chemical in your brain that tricks you into breeding

so what about love you have for your kids then or siblings? Every emotion we have is from our brain obviously, so what?

to answer the question I too agree with Kerry.

[InOne]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

so what about love you have for your kids then or siblings? Every emotion we have is from our brain obviously, so what?

to answer the question I too agree with Kerry.

Still another basic instinct

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by InOne

Still another basic instinct

yes but so is everything we feel, I don't get your point?

[Captain.Remy]

Possibly the only feeling that destroyed me at times yet made me the happiest I've ever been.
I think there is a different type of love for every person, you just can't compare any of them. I've got this thing to sometimes hurt the people I love the most because letting my feelings out scares me to death but I've learnt from my mistakes and I'm getting through it and hopefully the people who love me forgave me

[InOne]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

yes but so is everything we feel, I don't get your point?

I didn't your point tbh, seemed like you just wanted to argue...

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by InOne

I didn't your point tbh, seemed like you just wanted to argue...

discuss Joe discuss!!

[InOne]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

discuss Joe discuss!!

Just that we have an idea of love, even if it's platonic level, kids, or lovers. But we won't really know what love is until it's tested, so it's all perception, apart from the basic instincts.

(and jedward is my stalker not you lol)

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by InOne

Just that we have an idea of love, even if it's platonic level, kids, or lovers. But we won't really know what love is until it's tested, so it's all perception, apart from the basic instincts.

(and jedward is my stalker not you lol)

yes, well that I do agree with. We all think differently so everyone is bound to think of love differently. For me, it's all to do with knowing it, If a person tells me they love me it means nothing unless I already knew it by the way they treat me

[Vicky.]

I'm exactly like that with my brother and sister.

Well, more my sister, we used to fight a lot when we were younger, not just bicker and that, but full on fight. But if anyone else touched her there was hell on. never really fought with my brother, but I'm fiercely protective of him. Same with my parents. Though I know they can handle themselves.

I dont know why me and my sister used to fight, we just did. I never felt bad about it either, and I doubt she did...was just the way we were. Love between siblings is so weird

Love for a partner...I'm not sure about. When I first got with gav, it actually used to actually hurt me to be apart from him/think about losing him. Sounds corny but its true. Now though, I love being apart for a day or so, to get some space. And during arguments I try my hardest to say something I know will hurt him(though i feel bad about that afterwards). Not sure if this means I have fell out of love, or whatever...but it all seems different now.

[Z]

My brother says really hurtful things to me all the time, as in, if anybody else said them I'd be pissed off, if not hurt - but for whatever reason, when my brother says it, I don't get offended. Insane .

I'm not sure about romantic love. I do think it's a real thing, I think it's a combination of obsession and respect, or at least it should be. I mean, if you don't care about the person you're with, you're not in love - or if at one time you did but no longer do, then you're no longer in love. Similarly if you don't respect and admire the person you're with, then you're somewhat intolerant towards them, so you're not in love. I think lots of people are then guilty of holding on to something because they used to have those feelings towards their partner and somehow hope it'll return?

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Zee

I think lots of people are then guilty of holding on to something because they used to have those feelings towards their partner and somehow hope it'll return?

Not sure if thats the case with me...I'm in such a weird place right now. I have been thinking about how my life was before Gav and it all seems so much better, I might be seeing it through rose tinted glasses now but its just how it seems. But at the same time, I cant see myself going back to a life without him. I don't think I could.

But then again, that might just be because its been like 4 years now...rather than because I love him. Really not sure.