[Vicky.]

(This one is actually inspired by a situation I was in a few years back)

Your mother and father are due to renew their vows this Sunday. They have been happily married now for 25 years or so you think. You have always been a total daddys girl/boy..yet obviously you love your mother too

Last night, you went out with your mother. She got drunk and told you that she has been cheating on your father for 5 years with a guy she works with. She has been on nights out with this man and her friends. So not only is she cheating on your dad, all her friends know about it too. He is surely the butt of their jokes. You always wondered why when they came round, they whispered and sniggered on.

Your father absolutely dotes on your mother. You know this news would hit him very hard. He is really looking forward to this Sunday. Standing up infront of everyone they know and showing how committed he is to his wife. Little does he know, he will be a laughing stock.

You know for a fact that your father does not know this is going on. He is not just going along with things in the hope she will leave the other guy or anything like that.

You cannot believe your mother has done this too you. You wish she had kept her mouth shut and gone about her affair in private. You are in an impossible situation.

You could not say anything, and allow your father to (unknowingly) be the butt of the joke. And be decieved for another 5 years until it eventually comes out, leaving him feeling an utter fool. However this runs the risk of it coming out that YOU knew about it the whole time and said nothing. Your dad would be more hurt by your betrayal than your mothers you feel.

You could tell him and shatter his world. But at least he would know what was going on. However this runs the massive risk of you and your mother falling out badly, as you know if your dad knew she was cheating, they would split up. It will also affect your little brother, who would be in the middle of a messy breakup between his parents.

What do you do?

[Niamh.]

Oh God, what a horrible situation :/ I think you'd have to tell him though or ideally get your mother to tell him, especially since she doesn't seem remorseful about it and people are laughing at him because of it. Sh**ty situation for your mother to put you in though, what was she hoping to achieve by doing that?

[Vicky.]

Well since this ones not so hypothetical for me (though I added a few bits)..this ones easier to answer

I would/did tell my father.

Spoiler:

As it turned out, he was not as fragile as I first thought he was, and had been wondering why she was acting strangely. They split up. He never told my mum that it came from me..so I never fell out with my mother either. Though I did feel anger towards her for quite some time for putting me in that situation to begin with.

Happy-ish ending though..they got back together like 2 years ago or something. And there hasnt been any word at all of any infidelity this time round. And they seem much happier together after the time apart


Spoilered this bit so as not to influence peoples answers at how 'well' it turned out in the end

[Vanessa]

I'd tell my mum to confess all to dad or i will do it instead.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Well since this ones not so hypothetical for me (though I added a few bits)..this ones easier to answer

I would/did tell my father.

Spoiler:

As it turned out, he was not as fragile as I first thought he was, and had been wondering why she was acting strangely. They split up. He never told my mum that it came from me..so I never fell out with my mother either. Though I did feel anger towards her for quite some time for putting me in that situation to begin with.

Happy-ish ending though..they got back together like 2 years ago or something. And there hasnt been any word at all of any infidelity this time round. And they seem much happier together after the time apart


Spoilered this bit so as not to influence peoples answers at how 'well' it turned out in the end

Spoiler:

awww that's good. And well done to your dad for not saying anything about you saying it. Glad it had a happy end and atleast it's an honest relationship now and you can feel comfortable with it too not hiding any dirty secret on your dad

[Kizzy]

I was in a similar situation, one of our group of friends was getting married many of us knew he had been cheating... I told the bride to be 5 days before the wedding and she called it off...
So yeah, I would have to be honest.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

I was in a similar situation, one of our group of friends was getting married many of us knew he had been cheating... I told the bride to be 5 days before the wedding and she called it off...
So yeah, I would have to be honest.

Were you friends with the girl he was supposed to marry as well?

[Livia]

My parents are so devoted to each other I can't even begin to imagine what I'd do.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Were you friends with the girl he was supposed to marry as well?

Oh yes, and we were work colleagues too she was really happy I had and thanked me, but some of our other friends were mortified.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Oh yes, and we were work colleagues too she was really happy I had and thanked me, but some of our other friends were mortified.

Yeah, you're on dangerous ground there, there's always a fair chance that you end up being the bad guy :/ Even though it's a similar situation to the OP I don't know if I'd actually say anything in that situation unless I was very close to the bride to be

[Kizzy]

Oh me either, I only told her because I cared about her, and like vicky I was annoyed as I felt she was being played for a fool by some ( as she said her her mothers friends had done) I couldn't have tolerated that

[AnnieK]

Did you only find out so close to the wedding Kizzy or had you struggled to decide what to do for the best? Must have been a really tough position for you to be in.

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by Livia

My parents are so devoted to each other I can't even begin to imagine what I'd do.

This to be honest....must have been awful Vicky.

[joeysteele]

I don't think I would tell my Dad, I would however try to pressure my Mum to end the affair.
After telling me in those circumstances,she would then clearly know I knew from her telling me, things could be awkward and she may decide to end things herself as to the affair.

I would give her time to do that and think about the consequences, if she decided the affair was what she wanted then I would pressure her to tell Dad.

A situation I would hate to be in but if I was, I think I would try to ride it out rather than be the one to tell my Dad.
As I would vice versa too were it my Dad having the affair.

[Jords]

Tell my dad, Id be ashamed of my mum.

[Marcus.]

i would tell me dad before it was too late

[GypsyGoth]

I wouldn't tell.

[Ramsay]

I dont get on with my dad at all as well i do with my mum. but i would 100% tell my dad...cant be letting that shneaky bitch away with it like

[Jake.]

Not that they are together, but I'd tell my dad 100%, despite being much closer to my mum.

[Shaun]

I wouldn't tell him. I wouldn't be comfortable in that position and don't really see it as my place, seems a bit soap opera-ish. I would pressure my mother into revealing it, though.

[Ammi]

..I find this a really difficult one..I have a very low tolerance for betrayal in a relationship..but it would be very difficult as well, to tell someone you adore something you know will hurt them very deeply and destroy them...also, I would have to think of my brother and what this being revealed would mean to his life..this wouldn't be a situation I would ever want to be in...I guess that I couldn't make any decisions until I'd had some very long talks with my mother first....

[EddyEagal]

I think I'd have to tell him. It's hard though because of the little boy involved. I'd either tell the Dad or get the Mum to end it with the other man 100%

[HD]

I'd tell my dad, slaggish behaviour like that should be outted IMO.