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Ammi · 31-05-2013, 04:37 AM

..would that stop you from marrying someone...?

swinearefine · 31-05-2013, 04:40 AM

I would never get married, but tbh my parent's approval would actually deter me from having a relationship with someone.

lostalex · 31-05-2013, 04:47 AM

Absolutely.

My brother once though I was in an abusive relationship because I used to play wrestle with my boyfriend and we were very physical. We used to hit each other and play around like that all the time. It was completely harmless and I loved it. There was nothing abusive about it and he was the nicest sweetest guy in the world. But my brother was convinced this was the wrong relationship for me. (i suspect it might have had something to do with the fact that he was black)

Your family only see less than 5% of your relationship. Its impossible to judge someone else's relationship just from the small amount you see of them around you. It's stupid to try to judge.

You know your own relationship, you shouldn't let other people tell you how to feel about someone.

That being said, if my brother started dating a crack ***** who had 3 kids by 3 different guys, I'd have something to say about it...

so maybe i'm a hypocrite?

Ammi · 31-05-2013, 05:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostalex

Absolutely.

My brother once though I was in an abusive relationship because I used to play wrestle with my boyfriend and we were very physical. We used to hit each other and play around like that all the time. It was completely harmless and I loved it. There was nothing abusive about it and he was the nicest sweetest guy in the world. But my brother was convinced this was the wrong relationship for me. (i suspect it might have had something to do with the fact that he was black)

Your family only see less than 5% of your relationship. Its impossible to judge someone else's relationship just from the small amount you see of them around you. It's stupid to try to judge.

You know your own relationship, you shouldn't let other people tell you how to feel about someone.

That being said, if my brother started dating a crack ***** who had 3 kids by 3 different guys, I'd have something to say about it...

so maybe i'm a hypocrite?

..I think that's the thing though, Alex..I do agree that only the two people in the relationship, truly know what it is but being 'distant' from it can mean that you have a more objective view, say for instance, if you felt that the partner was very controlling...but I guess as family, you won't ever be objective because you're naturally biased...

AnnieK · 31-05-2013, 05:12 AM

I would certainly listen to my folks as they never normally interfere with anything.

The only time they did was over a friend. My mum really disliked her and couldn't hide that...she was right in the end, as my "friend" turned out to be a fairly nasty piece of work. I didn't listen much at the time and mum was only a little smug when I told her she was right all along.

Niamh. · 31-05-2013, 09:13 AM

My family are very accepting of people and If they really didn't like someone then there's probably good reason for it. I guess if I was in a bad relationship though and staying there, I wouldn't be thinking clearly anyway but at the same time I take marriage and the commitment of it very seriously so if it was a bad relationship even if I was staying there and in denial, i doubt I'd actually get married myself. hhhmmm I don't know, I just can't actually imagine being in a good relationship with a nice guy but my family not seeing that and not liking him

Marc · 31-05-2013, 09:14 AM

love is love

lostalex · 31-05-2013, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marc

love is love

did you come up with that all by yourself?

Shaun · 31-05-2013, 09:58 AM

Yeah... but then that's largely because most of my family (including my mum) are racist and homophobic...

Marc · 31-05-2013, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostalex

did you come up with that all by yourself?

yeah! isn't it moving and inspirational

lostalex · 31-05-2013, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marc

yeah! isn't it moving and inspirational

It has inspired me to write my own book. I think i'll call it "books are books".

joeysteele · 31-05-2013, 10:42 AM

I can't imagine that scenario with my Parents,but if you love someone then it's your life and all that matters so I guess I would.

However as to other family, definitely yes I would.

Iceman · 31-05-2013, 10:55 AM

I'm the one marrying the person so I would take on board what they say but ultimately it's my decision and I would marry them anyway.

lostalex · 31-05-2013, 10:57 AM

It's my hot body and i do what i wahhnt!

Jake. · 31-05-2013, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iceman

I'm the one marrying the person so I would take on board what they say but ultimately it's my decision and I would marry them anyway.

pretty much this

Livia · 31-05-2013, 02:29 PM

I can't see me ever being with someone my family disapproved of because my family are so accepting and inclusive. The person would have to be a real arsehole for my family to intervene, and there's no chance I would be with someone like that in the first place.

lostalex · 31-05-2013, 03:08 PM

Here's a good question. If someone in your family was marrying someone that you didn't approve of... what would you do?

Would you tell them? Would you boycott the wedding?

How far would you go if you really disapproved of someone in your families wedding?

Would you refuse to show up at all?
Would you show up but have a sour nasty face the whole time?
Would you show up and put on a happy face?

What would you do?

smeagol · 31-05-2013, 03:12 PM

iv'e always thought if a girls parents hate me then i am the right guy lol if they like me then oh dear
parents are meant to hate who you are with and if they don't your'e probably with someone boring lol

Marcus. · 31-05-2013, 03:16 PM

yes

Niamh. · 31-05-2013, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lostalex

Here's a good question. If someone in your family was marrying someone that you didn't approve of... what would you do?

Would you tell them? Would you boycott the wedding?

How far would you go if you really disapproved of someone in your families wedding?

Would you refuse to show up at all?
Would you show up but have a sour nasty face the whole time?
Would you show up and put on a happy face?

What would you do?

I guess it depends on why you dislike them

Tom4784 · 31-05-2013, 03:22 PM

I would, it's almost impossible to garner the favour of everyone in my family. Me and my brother hates my sister's fiancée, everyone in our family hates my cousin's wife and by extension her family, only one of my girlfriends has been met with approval ETC. It doesn't really bother me if my family don't approve.