[Glenn.]

Basically my sister is having grief with her loser ex. He's a mentally abusive moron who has wanted nothing to do with his child since she was born. My sister cut all contact with him because of the harassment she was getting from him. When she cut contact he told her he was taking her to court so he could see the baby.
He isn't interested in the child and is only concerned with what my sister is up to.

He's been tweeting crap today and he retweeted something from Fathers4Justice about a parent needing two parents.

Do you agree with this?

I feel what a child needs is stability and if one parent can provide that for a child then that's all they need.

[Cal.]

I grew up with just my mum around and my dad not very much (although he's present now) and I believe I did just fine so yeah if one parent can provide the stability a child needs then no they do not need both of their parents.

[Tom4784]

Definitely not, a good single parent is infinitely better than one good parent and one bad one that's present.

[Daniel-X]

Well I don't really know because when I was seven my mum and dad divorced and I just used to go to my dads on Wednesdays and Saturdays most of the time. My dad passed away though in January 2010 and I think my mums done a great job at raising me tbh

[Niamh.]

I think if it's possible to have two parents involved in a childs life then that's great. No offence meant here to your sister Glen but a father has as much right to see his child as a mother and it shouldn't be your sisters decision to just cut him out of his childs life like that, he has every right to take her to court and get access to see his daughter unless he's actually a danger to the child.

Your sister chose to have a child with this guy so she has to deal with the fact that he gets to see his child :/

ETA : of course one parent can raise a child perfectly fine on their own too if they have too if needs be

[Glenn.]

He's had visits with the baby and shows no interest in her.

[Niamh.]

Why doesn't he take her out, why is he visiting with your sister there? What your sister should do is not be there when he takes the baby away, if he genuinely has no interest in seeing the baby then he will stop visiting himself

[Nedusa]

Yes I think a child needs both Parents - one Male the other Female

[Glenn.]

Because he simply can't be trusted. He's made numerous threats about snatching her. not to mention the threats about killing any man and his family who talks to my sister.

[Glenn.]

And he is completely inadequate to look after a child.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Quasar

Because he simply can't be trusted. He's made numerous threats about snatching her. not to mention the threats about killing any man and his family who talks to my sister.

Has she reported him to the police?

[Glenn.]

Yes. He forced his way into the house in October. They issued him with an harassment order or something that meant he was to stop all contact with her. Then he filed for court in April.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Quasar

And he is completely inadequate to look after a child.

Is the court case ongoing? Why are visits not overseen by someone else in the family rather than your sister?

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Quasar

Yes. He forced his way into the house in October. They issued him with an harassment order or something that meant he was to stop all contact with her. Then he filed for court in April.

If she gets a restraining order from him and lets him have supervised visits with you there maybe or a social worker he might lose interest

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

If she gets a restraining order from him and lets him have supervised visits with you there maybe or a social worker he might lose interest

That would be my take I wouldn't go anywhere near him let as he is using visitation rights to intimidate,

[Glenn.]

Originally Posted by Cherie

Is the court case ongoing? Why are visits not overseen by someone else in the family rather than your sister?

Yes. Thy had to go in July and its up for review in October. I'm not sure what is happening in October but on her court papers it's says something about resolutions and the terms he has agreed to. Mainly passing a drug test.

When he filed for court he categorically denied taking drugs then at the hearing in July had to admit to taking them because he had to pay £300 for a hair strand test.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Nedusa

Yes I think a child needs both Parents - one Male the other Female

I think its healthy for kids to have good male and female role models in the lives, these role models should not necessarily be parents!

[Glenn.]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

If she gets a restraining order from him and lets him have supervised visits with you there maybe or a social worker he might lose interest

That's the reason he's being a prick again. He court told him he had to arrange the contact centre and he arranged the wrong one. Basically for the past two weeks my sister has been taking the baby to a children's centre and he's been meeting there. She received her court papers through last week and it states the terms of the contact centre and it needs to be an accredited contact centre and where they are going isn't.

She found the closest one and gave him the number to phone and because he might have to wait 2-6 weeks to sort he's being a wanker.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Quasar

Yes. Thy had to go in July and its up for review in October. I'm not sure what is happening in October but on her court papers it's says something about resolutions and the terms he has agreed to. Mainly passing a drug test.

When he filed for court he categorically denied taking drugs then at the hearing in July had to admit to taking them because he had to pay £300 for a hair strand test.

Hopefully he will get just limited supervised access and it should be documented that your sister should not be present, I think he would get bored and give up at that point

[Glenn.]

It's just a case of waiting for him to get bored. He isn't very consistent.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Quasar

It's just a case of waiting for him to get bored. He isn't very consistent.

Unfortunately break ups involving kids can get very messy, especially if there's alot of bitterness, the good thing is that your niece is still a baby(I'm assuming?) and won't remember it or probably doesn't know what's going on and hopefully by the time she is, all this will have been sorted out

[the truth]

Originally Posted by Quasar

Basically my sister is having grief with her loser ex. He's a mentally abusive moron who has wanted nothing to do with his child since she was born. My sister cut all contact with him because of the harassment she was getting from him. When she cut contact he told her he was taking her to court so he could see the baby.
He isn't interested in the child and is only concerned with what my sister is up to.

He's been tweeting crap today and he retweeted something from Fathers4Justice about a parent needing two parents.

Do you agree with this?

I feel what a child needs is stability and if one parent can provide that for a child then that's all they need.

sorry but your argument here sounds ridiculously biased. I think the ideal scenario is a father and a mother. It is proven that a child without a father on average is far worse off. My father was an absolute legend as was my grandfather and they always looked out for me and my brother and sister. Every single thing they ever said to be was helpful , productive , well meaning....Even the criticism. But not everyone is as lucky. Ive seen many cases where the mother and the father split and the mother sets her whole family against he father to ensure he is bullied out of her life and his childs life. Can you give more specific examples of what this allegedly dreadful man has done wrong and why he is useless as you claim? in the interests of fairness can you point out some of your sisters faults too? so fair youre painting her as a 100% saint and him as 100% sinner...sorry life and people are not as black and white as that

[the truth]

ok Ive read more responses. if he cant clean his drugs up then of course the social workers must get involved. I also agree if she plays everything by the rules (up to the point where she thinks there is ANY risk to the child) then if he is as bad as you say he will soon get bored. did your sister know he was a drug taker when she got pregnant by him? why would she get involved with him and get pregnant to him if he is this awful a person? The other upside is maybe one day he will clean up his act. Drugs is yet again at the heart of the problem and I blame the liberals for giving up on the fight against drugs. also does this man pay for his childs upbringing?

[Glenn.]

And yes he's only very recently started paying for her. Only because he was made to by the CSA

[Glenn.]

Oh I deleted the post.

There were rumours when they were together that he was dealing and taking drugs but he denied it. He mentally abused her so she wouldn't have a bad word said about him. I've never seen a case of domestic abuse first hand and I tried and everyone tried to make her see sense but the damage was done.
When she feel pregnant he told her that he did t want any part of it so she ended the relationship.