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Old 21-12-2016, 11:08 AM #1
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Default Sheltering children from unhappiness

Do you think children should be sheltered from unhappiness or do you believe everyone needs to be taught how to deal with heartbreak and unhappiness?
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Old 21-12-2016, 11:14 AM #2
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Do you think children should be sheltered from unhappiness or do you believe everyone needs to be taught how to deal with heartbreak and unhappiness?
A hard one. I think perhaps they should be sheltered for as long as possible but when the time is right, whatever that may be, they should be prepared to help them learn to cope with life and all its ups and downs.
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Old 21-12-2016, 11:15 AM #3
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Do you think children should be sheltered from unhappiness or do you believe everyone needs to be taught how to deal with heartbreak and unhappiness?
what type of unhappiness?

the death of a relative

a sad episode of peppa pig

an argument

Eastenders

etc
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Old 21-12-2016, 11:21 AM #4
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what type of unhappiness?

the death of a relative

a sad episode of peppa pig

an argument

Eastenders

etc
Any and all
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Old 21-12-2016, 11:23 AM #5
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No, children need the truth
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Old 21-12-2016, 11:25 AM #6
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Yeah they should. You learn about all that and how to deal with it in your teens.
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Old 21-12-2016, 11:26 AM #7
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Originally Posted by Brillopad View Post
A hard one. I think perhaps they should be sheltered for as long as possible but when the time is right, whatever that may be, they should be prepared to help them learn to cope with life and all its ups and downs.
Yeah I think the same way really but then I think we also have built in coping mechanisms in us too and that knowing how to deal with certain things even for a first time sort of comes naturally for most.

Last edited by Josy; 21-12-2016 at 11:26 AM.
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Old 21-12-2016, 11:28 AM #8
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The truth i think is that it is impossible to shelter children from unhappiness.What seems like a trivial issue to an adult can be almost the end of the world to a kid
So they are actually experiencing unhappiness with their own little problems all the time.
Then you have the more heartbreaking things they experience as the grow older:The death of a cat,dog,rabbit or hamster,The death of a grandparent etc.It is unrealistic and impossible.
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Old 21-12-2016, 11:50 AM #9
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You cant not tell them their granny died or their cat and lying to them that they have gone to heaven is worse than not telling them.

You do have to watch about things like terrorism but you tell them and explain the deal and that is how they learn. I think a lot of "sheltering" is avoidance tbh

One great way to deal with it is AYM
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Old 21-12-2016, 11:59 AM #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~HO~HO~HO~ View Post
Yeah I think the same way really but then I think we also have built in coping mechanisms in us too and that knowing how to deal with certain things even for a first time sort of comes naturally for most.
Yes, I think how we deal with things is partly inherited from our parents and partly from our general environment.

I think genes are pretty powerful though, the amount of people I have heard say with horror that they are turning into their mother/father, including me, is quite scary if you think your parents don't react in a way you want them to.
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Old 21-12-2016, 12:43 PM #11
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The latter. I'm not too keen on the "Buster went to the special dog farm..." explanation, for example...
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Old 21-12-2016, 01:30 PM #12
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I don't think they really have the same sorts of concepts of it anyway, so you can't really shelter or not.

When my mum died, my eldest (aged 4 at the time) came to the funeral with us... and when the coffin was sitting in the crematorium... she asked "if she could help push it in" . On the other hand, this morning she was utterly devastated (genuinely sobbing) because she dropped her fried egg .
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Old 21-12-2016, 03:30 PM #13
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I think children deserve as much happiness as you can give them but you can't always shelter them from life and you owe it to them to be honest with them.

I remember when my grandmother who I was close to died I was about 4 years old and it was hidden from me. But I noticed things and asked where she was. One of my cousins told me she died and I would have rather been told by my parents.
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Old 21-12-2016, 03:35 PM #14
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Some children and some adults don't cope with unhappiness and end up killing themselves, some don't get the chance to be sheltered from unhappiness
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Old 21-12-2016, 03:38 PM #15
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Children are mainly very resilient, I wouldn't sit a 4 year old down to watch the news or a horror movie or something plainly meant for adults, but if the cat died I would tell them in a way that they would accept and understand without frightening them
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Old 21-12-2016, 03:42 PM #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Christmas Sherry View Post
Children are mainly very resilient, I wouldn't sit a 4 year old down to watch the news or a horror movie or something plainly meant for adults, but if the cat died I would tell them in a way that they would accept and understand without frightening them
What like cherie ,bad news the cats dead good news we got cat for dinner

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Old 21-12-2016, 03:43 PM #17
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Show them The Lion King when theyre 4 or 5, and let them grow up to be miserable and cynical like the rest of us in their own time
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Old 21-12-2016, 03:55 PM #18
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Show them The Lion King when theyre 4 or 5, and let them grow up to be miserable and cynical like the rest of us in their own time
Now that's the circle of life.
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Old 21-12-2016, 04:00 PM #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Claus View Post
Now that's the circle of life.
Ouch maybe i need to rewatch it, that cut deep
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Old 21-12-2016, 04:36 PM #20
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What like cherie ,bad news the cats dead good news we got cat for dinner
Cat pie always a firm favourite in our house
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Old 21-12-2016, 05:45 PM #21
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Cat pie always a firm favourite in our house
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Old 21-12-2016, 05:53 PM #22
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That's impossible. Nobody can live in a bubble, you have to deal with unhappiness no matter your stage of life.

But where their childhood and innocence can be protected, it should be.
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Old 21-12-2016, 07:24 PM #23
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This is a difficult one, but I think children, say over the age of five, need preparing for the harsh realities that they are going to face in later life. If you have to tell them something horrid, like grandad has died, then talk about the natural cycle of life to help them understand about birth, life and death.
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Old 21-12-2016, 07:52 PM #24
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I don't have kids... but I'd say, be honest, but don't be brutal.
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Old 21-12-2016, 08:48 PM #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~HO~HO~HO~ View Post
Do you think children should be sheltered from unhappiness or do you believe everyone needs to be taught how to deal with heartbreak and unhappiness?

Josy --- Give a Example ,Please
I assume you are talking UK?
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