[Calderyon]

On 20.1.2019, My precious Big Brother, aged 42 years at that time, caught a lung fever which turned to flu/influenza, which ended him up in the hospital emergency ward, first to the containment area, then to the normal one.

After 30 days of lying in bed battling and various things happening and problems emerging with his lungs (including a hole in the large intestine which was sewn blocked and then they put a ostomy/stoma on his stomach) and apparently with his kidneys, since they had to have a dialysis machine with him we still thought that everything would go right somehow as the doctors and nurses reassured us we were always making progress.

However his lungs were too weak to breath on his own and he had a respiratory tube in his throat (trakeostomy) to help him breath as well as every medicine available pumped to him to make him recover. His lungs infection levels were dropping due to the medicine, and rising and the dropping again, all the way to 10, but his lungs were still too damaged and weak to breath on their own (Have to mention that he was an avid smoker). They had tested this on multiple occasions. The weak state of his lungs caused the main problem... his heart started to fail as he was having cardiac arrhythmia, first just one and then nothing in a while, then they started to come more often and often and often, but we still thought everything would be alright and he would recover as we were reassured .

On the day of 21.2.2019 at approximately 8:00 PM Local time (6 PM UK), a doctor called and said that the cardiac arrhythmia´s had increased and that they had to resuscitate him in order for him to stay alive and thing are critical, but they are trying everything they can to save him.

At approximately 12 AM midnight (10 PM UK), they called for me and my father to come to the hospital cause apparently the end is near. We managed to get my uncle to come and take us there and my other big brother took a cab cause he was living farther away.

We arrived to hospital and had doctor fill us in and then we went to where my brother was in and sat around him and realized things were in a gloomy state. After over an hour or so, with all of us pleading and trying get him to fight as well as praying to god etc. his situation just worsened and worsened and then at approx. 2 AM (12 AM UK), my big brother couldn´t fight any longer and... passed away. We still tried to get the nurses and doctors to try one time to save him and tried to talk to him several times, but it was no use... he was gone. Nothing was to be done anymore.

My precious Big Brother who i love so much had died at the age of 43. On the night following his birthday (his birthday was on 20th of February) 21.2.2019 was the date he slept away calm.

Leaving everyone of us in deep grief, distress, misery, agony and longing. I miss him so, so much already and am in a misery.

I don´t know... what to do anymore. Everything seems completely pointless at the moment. I just want to cry and rage. I´m at a loss.