[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by CharlieO

Thanks guys.

No they don't think its entirely my fault but they don't seem to understand how I couldn't live with him and think I was just being ridiculous.

But due to it I have gone quite crazy. Im better now, but the last year did consist of some dark times. I wont go into details as I don't want to seem as if I'm fishing for sympathy. I just got major depression from home life and then being bullied at school.

But in the long run it will make me stronger, already has to an extent.

He broke your arm and threw a knife at you and they don't understand how you can't live with him? that's ludicrous.

You have a really good attitude though Charlie, I admire you for that

[Redway]

Both of my parents are alive and well but I'm really saddened to hear sad stories of domestic abuse and death on here. Take care - remember it's not your fault. Insightful thread

[CharlieO]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

He broke your arm and threw a knife at you and they don't understand how you can't live with him? that's ludicrous.

You have a really good attitude though Charlie, I admire you for that

Thanks Niamh, took along time to get this attitude but I'm better off for it.
They know he broke my arm but my mum did not want them knowing he threw a knife at me so I am not allowed to tell them because she doesn't want them to stop talking to him as well.

[Shaun]

I was never particularly close with my father but I think we were very similar people. My mum and the rest of my family tend to be very hotheaded and argumentative, whereas my dad would just bottle things up and make light of situations which I always found a little bit reassuring in a house full of bitterness.

My parents were separated before he died, but he lived in the same town so we still saw him pretty much every day. I miss him a stupid amount, more than I like to let on really, even if it's silly childhood experiences like him taking us (my brother & sister) swimming every Saturday, or to the beach, etc.

At the same time he wasn't perfect - he had a bad alcohol & smoking problem (that led to his death) and when my parents were together he would often get drunk and abusive. I have a horrible memory of him actually throwing my mother across the room and threatening my older brother (not his son) with a knife... thankfully nothing terrible happened but that was the end of the marriage basically. Of course I forgave him for that since my mum can be a total bitch at times and I guess I just love(d) them both unconditionally. My heart goes out to anyone whose parents are going through separation, it's probably the worst experience a child can have.

In short LOL I'm not sure my life would be that different. I guess I'd obviously be less upset but...yeah

[Doogle]

I never knew my father until I contacted him on Facebook recently and discovered he was still alive and well.

However if my mum lived with him in Turkey while she was pregnant and didn't come back to England, I'd be living in Turkey, raised as a Muslim,, so my life would be very different if I did have my mum and dad.

I live with my Mum and my Auntie, who kindly let us stay here when we moved from London, and I never had that father figure in my life. I'd probably be a lot different. Plus my mum only ever had 1 or 2 male friends, but they'd spoil me rotten, teach me magic, and let me watch the naked girls on Big Brother when I was about 6.

[Pyramid*]

Originally Posted by CharlieO

I know I don't fit in to this category because my parents aren't dead but I no longer live with my father.

My dad never made an effort with me and made it very verbally clear that I was not the son he wanted, he travelled for work a lot and I hardly ever saw him as a child. So in teenage years we never really spoke other than hello.

He has always been really angry and not able to control his temper but it never seemed to be a problem until recently.

In april 2010 he got angry at me because I said f off to him. He then broke my arm. He had gone into this mode where he was almost possessed. It scared me so much and I could no longer live with him so my mum agreed to make him move out.

I know if I had had a father who cared I would be so different. My story is clearly very selfish compared to those who have lost family members but being abused by a parent isnt just physical pain. It has mucked me up so much. Everytime I hear his voice I cant help but cry and shake with fear. My mum understands how it has affected me but he doesnt. He used to come to the house pretty much when ever he wants and laughed at me and called me a panzy.

Then in october I was home alone and he came round and threatened me. He basically said about how I had ****ed up his marriage and how unless I gave up this 'act' he would hurt me even more. I thought he was bluffing and tried to get away. Then he threw a knife and me and it went deep in my leg. I have a massive scar from it.

After that my mum wouldn't let him come to the house but she always sees him and so do my two sisters and they act like its all my fault most of the time so yea.
I actually wish I had a father figure because I also have several feminine traits that i get bullied at school because of and I wish I had a dad that would actually be there for me and care.

God Charlie. Massive

All I can try to say to you is that you really should try your very best to embrace your up and coming move to boarding school, and use that as a wonderful opportunity - where you can grow, and be in an environment that will make you a stronger and better person - an opportunity for you to shine, find your place, your confidence will hopefully grow too, and you be your very own individual young man.

[Niall]

Originally Posted by CharlieO

I know I don't fit in to this category because my parents aren't dead but I no longer live with my father.

My dad never made an effort with me and made it very verbally clear that I was not the son he wanted, he travelled for work a lot and I hardly ever saw him as a child. So in teenage years we never really spoke other than hello.

He has always been really angry and not able to control his temper but it never seemed to be a problem until recently.

In april 2010 he got angry at me because I said f off to him. He then broke my arm. He had gone into this mode where he was almost possessed. It scared me so much and I could no longer live with him so my mum agreed to make him move out.

I know if I had had a father who cared I would be so different. My story is clearly very selfish compared to those who have lost family members but being abused by a parent isnt just physical pain. It has mucked me up so much. Everytime I hear his voice I cant help but cry and shake with fear. My mum understands how it has affected me but he doesnt. He used to come to the house pretty much when ever he wants and laughed at me and called me a panzy.

Then in october I was home alone and he came round and threatened me. He basically said about how I had ****ed up his marriage and how unless I gave up this 'act' he would hurt me even more. I thought he was bluffing and tried to get away. Then he threw a knife and me and it went deep in my leg. I have a massive scar from it.

After that my mum wouldn't let him come to the house but she always sees him and so do my two sisters and they act like its all my fault most of the time so yea.
I actually wish I had a father figure because I also have several feminine traits that i get bullied at school because of and I wish I had a dad that would actually be there for me and care.

Originally Posted by CharlieO

Thanks guys.

No they don't think its entirely my fault but they don't seem to understand how I couldn't live with him and think I was just being ridiculous.

But due to it I have gone quite crazy. Im better now, but the last year did consist of some dark times. I wont go into details as I don't want to seem as if I'm fishing for sympathy. I just got major depression from home life and then being bullied at school.

But in the long run it will make me stronger, already has to an extent.

Jesus Christ Charlie that absolutely awful! :'(

About the sisters thing, I wouldn't be able to take that if my Mum said I couldn't tell them. I'd probably explode.

[Vicky.]

My life would have been a total mess now if I hadnt had my dad around growing up. He got me out of a really bad patch in my life between the ages of about 15-17. I probably would have been in prison or something now if it wasnt for him.

[CharlieO]

Originally Posted by Niall

Jesus Christ Charlie that absolutely awful! :'(

About the sisters thing, I wouldn't be able to take that if my Mum said I couldn't tell them. I'd probably explode.

Originally Posted by Pyramid*

God Charlie. Massive

All I can try to say to you is that you really should try your very best to embrace your up and coming move to boarding school, and use that as a wonderful opportunity - where you can grow, and be in an environment that will make you a stronger and better person - an opportunity for you to shine, find your place, your confidence will hopefully grow too, and you be your very own individual young man.

Thanks Pyramid and Niall but I guess its just life for me and I deal with it the best I can, there isn't any point fretting over it anymore it will just make things harder. But thanks for the kind words.