[Omah]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/t...ht-review.html

Cynics predicted that reality behemoth Big Brother’s move to Richard Desmond’s Five would drag it even further downmarket. Judging by tonight’s live launch show, those cynics were absolutely correct. If anything, they underestimated how much further downmarket.

“Celebrity” reality shows often stretch the word’s definition to breaking point but this batch may finally have snapped it. Rumours of famous names had been rife in the build-up, often disseminated by Desmond’s own tabloids.

None came to fruition. The barrel-scraping cast of ten contestants had a definite whiff of last minute pull-outs and parachuted-in reserves. The majority are notable only for who they married or for taking part in other reality shows.

It was hardly a meeting of minds either, with half the housemates irredeemably thick. The show’s usual pre-entry psychological evaluation has presumably been waived too - especially for fragile Kerry Katona and faded Hollywood starlet Tara Reid, who seemed so spaced out, she could barely open the door to the gaudily-revamped house.

That pair were joined by Pamela Bach-Hasselhoff (cackling irritant and ex-wife of David Hasselhoff), Sally Bercow (publicity-seeking irritant and current wife of House Of Common speaker John) and Amy Childs – the dead-eyed charisma vacuum from The Only Way Is Essex, whose sole selling point seems to be that she’s cheaper to hire than Jordan.

The males were even weaker: incomprehensible bare-knuckle fighter Paddy Doherty from My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding; peacock-haired “Mr Paparazzi” Darren Lyons; male model Bobby Sabel; and soap actor Lucian Laviscount. Even hardened celebrity-spotters would struggle to recognise the latter two.

It’s coming to something when John and Edward Grimes - aka Jedward, the tuneless Irish twins who shot to infamy on The X Factor – are the most famous men in the house. The pair apparently have a clause in their contract to exempt them from any task that might involve cutting their trademark vertiginous quiffs.

The lawyer drafting that one must be proud his years of study had come to this. Still, after failing to triumph in either The X Factor or this year’s Eurovision, this might just be the first competition they win.

There were a few saving graces. The production values seemed solid enough. Geordie voiceover man Marcus Bentley was still present and correct. New host Brian Dowling was warm, witty and watchable.

Good for Brian, Bad for HMs .....

[fingers]

Caustic, but Oh, so true!

[rfighter]

What a load of ****

[CharlieO]

Absolutely true. But the line up appeals to the majority of the audience and the youth. Just not particularly stimulating.

[Zippy]

The males are dismal

Can't believe they couldn't find more famous ones.

[Patrick]

Originally Posted by Zippy

The males are dismal

Can't believe they couldn't find more famous ones.

What the ******.
This is the best line up ever?

[Jords]

Harsh for the sake of it.

[Zippy]

Originally Posted by Patrick

What the ******.
This is the best line up ever?

Like hell it is

the males are weak nonentities even by CBB standards

[joeysteele]

Rather pathetic article. I agree with Patrick, it's a pretty good and varied line up, that may prove one of the best yet.

[Joelle.]

This is the Telegraph. Of course its going to absolutely slate Big Brother.

Theyre far too busy reviewing Kurdish dramas and documentaries about dead artists showing on BBC4 to have any interest in it whatsoever.

[ram513]

Could they be any more harsh
This is shaping up to be a great series and already there are negative views!


The line up is brilliant, though I still say it should have been Charlie Sheen instead of Paddy or Bobby :\

[SimBrotherNetwork]

The line up is brilliant, this is just harsh!

[Rob!]

Like the telegraph were ever going to compliment Big Brother.

[emmetmcl]

Hopefully Charlie Sheen will go in tomorrow and bolster the line up up.

[amai-murasaki]

That's just plain nasty, give the show a chance to shine before slating it & as for the look of the Big Brother House I thought they did a good job of it. Last year I felt bereft at the thought of no Big Brother during the Summer, so I applaud C5 for bring it back

[Omah]

Originally Posted by Patrick

This is the best line up ever

Originally Posted by joeysteele

it's a pretty good and varied line up, that may prove one of the best yet.

Originally Posted by ram513

The line up is brilliant

[QUOTE=SimBrotherNetwork;4480831]The line up is brilliant[QUOTE]

Best and brilliant, eh ?

We shall see .....

[Omah]

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/me...5-2340259.html

The rumour mill spiralled into meltdown as the relaunch of Celebrity Big Brother approached: the troubled Hollywood star Charlie Sheen had been spotted at Heathrow and was surely heading for the Elstree house.

But when the contestants were finally unveiled, it appeared that Richard Desmond's chequebook had failed to lure the A-listers that the Channel 5 owner promised would drive 20 million viewers to the reality show's new home. After a day of high intrigue, with lawyers at Channel 5 HQ said to be poring over contractual demands and at least one late withdrawal, believed to be R&B star Bobby Brown, viewers were instead presented with Bobby Sabel. Bobby who? Sabel, it transpired, is a fashion model, who has graced Esquire magazine and appeared in "a number of high-profile advertising campaigns" including those for Cast Iron Denim and Sony.

Sabel was joined in the house by Lucien Laviscount, a teen actor said to have "boy-band appeal". He enjoyed a year on Coronation Street before graduating to the BBC school-set soap Waterloo Road. There was no Sarah Ferguson, said to be the subject of a £1m offer to take part. Instead we have Darryn Lyons, a mohican-wearing Australian paparazzo. And there are the usual stars fallen on hard times – Kerry Katona and Amy Childs, a product of The Only Way Is Essex, who has defected to CBB after being made an offer she couldn't refuse.

[Joelle.]

I hate the way that high brow papers like The Telegraph, Guardian and Independent speak about Big Brother with such snobbery as if they are 'above' it. Some of the people who read them are even worse judging by the comments on Big Brother articles on their websites. Just completely stuck up.

[CharlieO]

Its true though, Channel 5 have targeted youths with this line up. There are no mentally stimulating housemates in there what so ever.

[Omah]

Originally Posted by CharlieO

Its true though, Channel 5 have targeted youths with this line up. There are no mentally stimulating housemates in there what so ever.

Yeah, I'd guess that the brain cell count has dropped below that required to support human lifeforms except in a undemanding controlled environment like the BB house .....

[Colbert-Bump]

Bringing in the wags of The Hoff & The Speaker of the house of commons is a backwards move, Desmond didn't deliver the big names.

[sword in the stone]

Originally Posted by Patrick

What the ******.
This is the best line up ever?

i agree it's the best line up ever on ch5 BB.

[billy123]

Originally Posted by CharlieO

Its true though, Channel 5 have targeted youths with this line up. There are no mentally stimulating housemates in there what so ever.

darryn lyons might suprise you then he is on the ball despite his garish appearance he is a very astute businessman and a bright guy im really suprised at the amount of people that didnt know who he was and who judged him on first impressions he is a clever,funny and witty man.
Hell he is a self made multi millionaire from getting other people to run around for him.

I quite the line up maybe 1 more alpha male would be nice.

[joeysteele]

Originally Posted by Juan_Sheet

I hate the way that high brow papers like The Telegraph, Guardian and Independent speak about Big Brother with such snobbery as if they are 'above' it. Some of the people who read them are even worse judging by the comments on Big Brother articles on their websites. Just completely stuck up.

100% agree, I find it amazing they mentioned it at all, celebrities also 'have' to be available with time to go in these things, the other possibles may well be getting lined up for the next CBB anyway.

Just completely stuck up is a good line, also though to quote Simon Cowell as to X Factor all publicity is good publicity so in the end these papers will have inadvertently brought BB's attention to the viewing public.

[georgehudson]

Pathetic review. What a load of sh*t!