[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Smithy

I thought the title said batman and i got really confused

..Haahhhhhhhhh, I did exactly the same when I first saw the story....

[Shaun]

*also read Batman *

Originally Posted by Ninastar

Agree with zee. If something were to happen to the baby (even non alcohol related, possibly...) he could feel extremely guilty and blame himself

If he were the father I'd agree, but he's nothing to do with the customer and shouldn't be restricting service because he thinks it's best. Just doesn't make sense to me. Patronising busy-bodiness.

[GypsyGoth]

I think he's providing a substance that can cause damage.

And it seems like he erred on the side of caution.

[MeMyselfAndI]

Exactly, I don't like this 'Why should you give a ****, you're not related/know them', He doesn't want to be in anyway responsible for giving a pregnant lady alcohol which is not 'safe'.

[joeysteele]

We hear a fair bit as to possibly irresponsible bar staff who serve alcohol to people they maybe shouldn't.
I think he showed some initiative in refusing to serve her it because she was pregnant.

I do think though, she is entitled to make the choice to drink while pregnant even though medically she would be likely be advised not to.
I think on balance, I lean slightly more towards his corner than hers though

[Ammi]

..I do think it's a bit of a difficult one this because he doesn't have the right to judge her, but he does have the right to refuse anyone that he doesn't feel comfortable serving for whatever reason...

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by Shaun

If he were the father I'd agree, but he's nothing to do with the customer and shouldn't be restricting service because he thinks it's best. Just doesn't make sense to me. Patronising busy-bodiness.

I can see why you'd think that, but I still think it was right of him to do so. I personally think it's wrong to drink that far along into the pregnancy.

This may be sexist of me, but I imagine women to be a lot more informed about drinking while pregnant then men. Most people know it's best to avoid drink all together. But if you look it up, (as I have just done) it states "we recommend they should not drink more than 1-2 units once or twice a week and should not get drunk".

How is he to know that she hasn't been drinking every night that week? Fair enough if she wants to do damage to her own body, I'm sure he'd let her get away with that, but he was looking out for an unborn child. And personally, I think he's perfectly okay to do so. Judgemental and patronising he may be, but at least he can rest and know he didn't do anything himself to cause damage to a life that doesn't really have an option....

[MTVN]

Originally Posted by Zee

That's from her point of view - the barman sees a heavily pregnant woman asking for a glass of wine and immediately has alarm bells ringing. Bar staff hear all sorts of excuses for why a person "is fine to be drinking" and if they've decided they're not going to serve someone, that is up to them. I think perhaps she only feels humiliated because she has something to be ashamed of - that she can't abstain from alcohol; and not because she was "humiliated" by being refused.

Don't really think having a small glass of wine when out is proof of being unable to abstain from alcohol, it's just very much a part of being out for a meal. If he really had concerns he could have at least asked her politely if she was ok to be drinking at which point she could explain that's it's considered fine to have one small glass a week, she is going to have more knowledge and awareness than him of the subject after all

[Z]

Originally Posted by MTVN

Don't really think having a small glass of wine when out is proof of being unable to abstain from alcohol, it's just very much a part of being out for a meal. If he really had concerns he could have at least asked her politely if she was ok to be drinking at which point she could explain that's it's considered fine to have one small glass a week, she is going to have more knowledge and awareness than him of the subject after all

Yeah but he's a barman, he has no way of knowing if this is her only drink of the day/week/last 9 months. For all he knows this is a woman who spends all day every day drinking despite being pregnant and evidently he didn't want to be involved in any potential problems. Why would he ask her? As Caitlin said, and I have been saying, most people, especially men, aren't really clued up about pregnancy because it's not something we go through personally.

If he refused service to someone who was blind drunk and they felt "humiliated" about being denied service, people wouldn't be against the barman; but because it's a pregnant woman people are getting all uppity about it... personally I think that you shouldn't be putting anything into your body that will intoxicate you if you're carrying a baby. The barman clearly feels the same way. The pregnant woman knows more than either of us and she feels differently - and that's fine, if she wants to have her glass of wine a week in the comfort of her own home then that's fine, but having it with dinner in a restaurant is naturally going to raise eyebrows not just from the bar staff but from people in the restaurant too.

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by MTVN

Not his place to refuse her service when he knows none of the details, would be a different story if she was off her face drunk but she was only having a small glass with a meal, won't do any harm

Actually it is. If something happened to her or the baby on premises because she was drunk he would be held liable for serving her.

[Ninastar]

If you go on the nhs website where I got my quote from, it pretty much says to avoid drink all together... I know the odd glass does the baby no harm, but still I wouldn't serve a 9 month pregnant woman some wine either.

[Glenn.]

Originally Posted by Smithy

I thought the title said batman and i got really confused

Originally Posted by Ammi

..Haahhhhhhhhh, I did exactly the same when I first saw the story....

Originally Posted by Shaun

*also read Batman *

Same

Good on him I say.

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by Ninastar

If you go on the nhs website where I got my quote from, it pretty much says to avoid drink all together... I know the odd glass does the baby no harm, but still I wouldn't serve a 9 month pregnant woman some wine either.

I'm not a woman but that's pretty much how I see it. 1 unit, 2 unit nah just stop altogether for 9 months I'm sure you'll need all the drink in the world once you've popped the little blighter out but for the duration of the pregnancy why not just cut it out altogether?

[MTVN]

Originally Posted by Zee

Yeah but he's a barman, he has no way of knowing if this is her only drink of the day/week/last 9 months. For all he knows this is a woman who spends all day every day drinking despite being pregnant and evidently he didn't want to be involved in any potential problems. Why would he ask her? As Caitlin said, and I have been saying, most people, especially men, aren't really clued up about pregnancy because it's not something we go through personally.

If he refused service to someone who was blind drunk and they felt "humiliated" about being denied service, people wouldn't be against the barman; but because it's a pregnant woman people are getting all uppity about it... personally I think that you shouldn't be putting anything into your body that will intoxicate you if you're carrying a baby. The barman clearly feels the same way. The pregnant woman knows more than either of us and she feels differently - and that's fine, if she wants to have her glass of wine a week in the comfort of her own home then that's fine, but having it with dinner in a restaurant is naturally going to raise eyebrows not just from the bar staff but from people in the restaurant too.

But those would all be completely baseless presumptions, I mean should barmen always assume that unless it's proven otherwise everyone they're dealing with is spending "all day every day drinking"? He would ask her because that's the reasonable thing to do instead of making incorrect judgements, surely the fact that he would know less about pregnancy is even more reason for him not to make this call (though I kinda thought it was fairly common knowledge that pregnant women can drink - and smoke - in very small doses)

Originally Posted by Ben

Actually it is. If something happened to her or the baby on premises because she was drunk he would be held liable for serving her.

Ah come on, it's a massive leap to go from allowing one small glass of wine with a meal to being criminally liable for alcohol-related problems existing in the new born baby from drunkenness.

[Kizzy]

Well I've heard it all now.... some div in a bar decides it's morally reprehensible to serve 125ml of wine to a pregnant woman
Lordy....

[MeMyselfAndI]

Whatever, he was really sensible, careful and took no risks, which is a very smart thing to do with a woman who is 9 months pregnant, why take a risk? I certainly wouldn't describe him as a 'div'

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by MTVN

Ah come on, it's a massive leap to go from allowing one small glass of wine with a meal to being criminally liable for alcohol-related problems existing in the new born baby from drunkenness.

Matt, we live in a day and age where a lot of people if they can find a fault with someone else's actions and claim from it they will. I fully back this man's decision, I have and will continue to do the same because I don't want any repercussions coming my way.

If she is so desperate for a glass of wine then go have one at home.

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Well I've heard it all now.... some div in a bar decides it's morally reprehensible to serve 125ml of wine to a pregnant woman
Lordy....

Yeah, I wouldn't describe him as a div, he is covering his back.

[Kizzy]

I would, or a fool...
He had no idea what effects 125ml of alcohol would have on a child in the third trimester, absolutely pathetic.

[MTVN]

Originally Posted by Ben

Matt, we live in a day and age where a lot of people if they can find a fault with someone else's actions and claim from it they will. I fully back this man's decision, I have and will continue to do the same because I don't want any repercussions coming my way.

If she is so desperate for a glass of wine then go have one at home.

Well from the sounds of it the guy has been given a 'talking to' and the bar has had to apologise so it was really the decision not to serve her which has actually got them into trouble

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

I would, or a fool...
He had no idea what effects 125ml of alcohol would have on a child in the third trimester, absolutely pathetic.

What I find pathetic is her attempt at making a big deal out of it. If she is so desperate for a wine then have one at home. It may be her right to drink if she wants but it is also his right to be responsible and keep himself out of trouble in a job that keeps a roof over his head. like I said, we no longer live in a 'care-free' day and age, we live in a world where one mistake and you will be sued.

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by MTVN

Well from the sounds of it the guy has been given a 'talking to' and the bar has had to apologise so it was really the decision not to serve her which has actually got them into trouble

Probably because this silly woman has made a big deal out of it and the company are forced to so as not to be given bad press no doubt.

[MeMyselfAndI]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

I would, or a fool...
He had no idea what effects 125ml of alcohol would have on a child in the third trimester, absolutely pathetic.

Not an effect of the child directly, but the alcohol could have had an effect on the woman carrying the child, hence putting the child in danger. Who knows whether she's had more to drink? He is being careful as I said, a very smart man with initiative, he deserves a lot of praise.

[MTVN]

Originally Posted by Ben

Probably because this silly woman has made a big deal out of it and the company are forced to so as not to be given bad press no doubt.

Would say it was more because he went against company policy and was the one to make a big deal out of in the first place by not just serving her a small glass of wine

[MeMyselfAndI]

There probably are terms and conditions with dealing with pregnant women