[lostalex]

Do you agree with most hetero men that have a fantasy of having kids and a wife will make them better people? and WTF kind of logic is that, that some how it's the responsibility of a child and a mother to make HIM more stable.

This logic that heteros have really annoys me.

[Kizzy]

If you're hedonistic or immature maybe becoming a father would be the catalyst for becoming a more domesticated and dependable person.
It's a stage reached cathartically maybe, it can't be rushed or you could feel resentful or trapped.

[Marsh.]

Only hetero men do this? And it's a huge problem?



What about the homos who think having a black baby makes them cute?!

[Brother Leon]

It's a fair thing to think. It's hardly an issue.


I know I'm going to change drastically should I ever be a father. A beautiful woman and child to share your life with..not a bad thing to want at all.

[Marsh.]

Yeah, in fact I'd say in the majority of cases it happens.

The number of parents who say "When you have kids..." "When you're a parent..." because so many of them have experienced it themselves.

Obviously some people don't change or never change, but a lot of people step up to the mark when given a responsibility. They seem reckless and feckless, then give them a child and bam, their world changes.

That's how life works, experiences and developments change us. Most people mature and grow, children and relationships is a very natural part of that process.

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Brother Leon

It's a fair thing to think. It's hardly an issue.


I know I'm going to change drastically should I ever be a father. A beautiful woman and child to share your life with..not a bad thing to want at all.

Beautiful woman = yes

Kids = A big no for me as I'm not that type of guy but maybe that's why I'm classed as immature lol.

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

What about the homos who think having a black baby makes them cute?!

welp

[Mystic Mock]

I've always thought that I will end up with a black woman, obviously I can't 100% guarantee that but it's what I've always thought will happen.

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

Originally Posted by The Mockinator

I've always thought that I will end up with a black woman, obviously I can't 100% guarantee that but it's what I've always thought will happen.

:x

[billy123]

Well what a weird ass thread this is.

[Nedusa]

I think the poster who started this thread has been sipping the loony juice again...!!!

[Ninastar]

i dont know what this sudden hate for 'white' or 'straight' men is, but god it pisses me off so much

[billy123]

Imagine the sh!tstorm if you replaced the word "hetero" with homosexual in the thread title

[Marc]

Kids are nice to have, they get you benefits

[Jay.]

What's the issue? I consider myself normal and really, all I want out of life is a wife and kids. I'm not saying that it will make me more 'stable' as I'm already quite grown up and 'stable' it's just because I'd like a family. Pointless thread really :S

What really is the problem with wanting to have a family?

[Marc]

Nothing much, it's a natural progression in life I think. Obviously it doesn't have to be people's lives but humans procreate

[user104658]

Nah, I'm more immature than ever.

I suppose, it's the first time that you all of a sudden value another life more than your own, which is an odd transition, especially when (like me, to be honest!) you're naturally quite self-indulgent.

I also wouldn't be holding down the job that I have if I didn't have kids, because I hate it and feel wasted slogging on with it. If I was single I would have spent much longer seeking better. I wouldn't say that's a positive though, it's more just about responsibility and necessity.

As for the premise of the thread, though, what people "think it will mean" before they even have kids or the suggestion that men want to have kids for those reasons, I'm not so sure? I can say for certain that I hadn't given it any thought AT ALL before my first little cherub came along. It was somewhat of a... Surprise . But then, I was only 23 so I guess I don't have much insight into the mindset of guys aged 30+ who might be starting to grow weary of all that single / coupley crap and be looking for an excuse to settle down.

I would say to them though: kids are a RUBBISH tool for settling down! It's ten times as hectic as a busy single life and yet significantly more boring. Hah.

[Kizzy]

It's a good question, not sure what the faux shock and offence is in aid of, if homosexual partners want to have a child it will be a decision reached with more forward planning than heterosexuals as the process is different... I see that.
It is just a stereotype from our patriarchal past that men were the responsible, dependable breadwinners, some are and some aren't it's not as easy as physically becoming a father the mental changes have to be there too.
If you've had a positive male role model I think that's easier for lads as they have someone to aspire to, if your rudderless it's harder maybe as it's more trial and error.

[Crimson Dynamo]

there is a scottish saying that goes

A man is not a man until he has had a daughter

and there is much truth in that

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

It's a good question, not sure what the faux shock and offence is in aid of, if homosexual partners want to have a child it will be a decision reached with more forward planning than heterosexuals as the process is different... I see that.
It is just a stereotype from our patriarchal past that men were the responsible, dependable breadwinners, some are and some aren't it's not as easy as physically becoming a father the mental changes have to be there too.
If you've had a positive male role model I think that's easier for lads as they have someone to aspire to, if your rudderless it's harder maybe as it's more trial and error.

Very true, my daughter knows an alarming number of children with "dads" (used loosely) nowhere to be found. Some even go to alarming lengths in order to fiddle the system and avoid paying child support out of their wages.

That said, that doesn't even just apply to men. I know of a staggering number of children who spend 80% of their time palmed off on grandparents and not really being parented by their "mother", either. Many people of both genders don't manage to change at all just because they've had children, it seems. The drive to be responsible doesn't magically pop out alongside the placenta. It has to already be there, I think.

[user104658]

One of the absolute worst I've heard is a guy spending ages convincing his fiancée to try for children even though she was initially unsure... convinced her... they had a baby... and then he walked out not to be seen again! And is one of the aforementioned "child support avoiders"! WTF is that

[Northern Monkey]

Thing is,I never thought i'd be ready,Whenever it was discussed i would have the fear of god in me and always say "yeah,One day",Then i bit the bullet and said "why not" because i knew i was'nt getting any younger!Now i have a 3 year old and another on the way and i can 100% confirm that it has totally changed my life(for the better).I used to party hard!Not now though and i feel healthier for it.It does change your life.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by EyeballPaul

Thing is,I never thought i'd be ready,Whenever it was discussed i would have the fear of god in me and always say "yeah,One day",Then i bit the bullet and said "why not" because i knew i was'nt getting any younger!Now i have a 3 year old and another on the way and i can 100% confirm that it has totally changed my life(for the better).I used to party hard!Not now though and i feel healthier for it.It does change your life.

Aw Paul that's lovely congrats

[Niamh.]

I guess it's as bad as men or women wanting to have a baby in the hopes it'll fix a broken relationship Sure it happens but I wouldn't say it's that common place, you can see that by how much older people generally are when they decide to have kids nowadays

[Vicky.]

Didn't realise this was such a huge problem tbh

Personally I found having kids matured me a LOT. It has to really. You learn to be a lot more patient, you learn to function on no sleep, you learn routine, etc etc. I guess it does change you. Not sure it always makes people 'better' though, just different.