[King Gizzard]

Urrrrrrggggh

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Jonnii

Why do so many musicians hate "Lorraine"? & who is she?

Adele set fire to her, Missy Elliott can't stand her and Johnny Nash can see clearly now that she's gone...

...I see what you did there....the answer my friend is blowing in the wind...

[jennyjuniper]

Originally Posted by kirklancaster

I often ponder Life's Great Mysteries, and I would be pleased to hear yours.

I'll start with my No. 1 mystery:

Why doesn't Jeremy Kyle fit a locking fecking door on his set to save him chasing the imbecilic 'guests' backstage every show?

Good one Kirk. One good reason to watch The Jeremy Kyle show, is that your own family never seems quite so bad after you have seen the horrors that pass for family on that show.

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by jennyjuniper

Good one Kirk. One good reason to watch The Jeremy Kyle show, is that your own family never seems quite so bad after you have seen the horrors that pass for family on that show.

Some of the 'guests' on there Jen, leave you thinking that Serial Killers ain't so bad.

[Kyle]

Why do Super villains always seem to turn up when the Superhero gets his power?

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Kyle

Why do Super villains always seem to turn up when the Superhero gets his power?

And why do the Cavalry in westerns always turn up about 5 minutes too late? Ditto the cops in crime films.

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by kirklancaster

And why do the Cavalry in westerns always turn up about 5 minutes too late? Ditto the cops in crime films.

It's a real pickle Kirk.

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Kyle

It's a real pickle Kirk.

Can't sleep at night.

[kirklancaster]

Here's another:

Why do politicians NEVER answer a straight question? And why are they allowed to get away with NOT answering?

[Crimson Dynamo]

why, when i mark an item as dispatched and a seller then gets an email to confirm this AND in their purchase history section of MY EBAY the item is marked as dispatched with the date sent

do i at least 3 times a week get emails from sellers saying

"Hi can you tell me if the item is sent yet?"

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

why, when i mark an item as dispatched and a seller then gets an email to confirm this AND in their purchase history section of MY EBAY the item is marked as dispatched with the date sent

do i at least 3 times a week get emails from sellers saying

"Hi can you tell me if the item is sent yet?"

It's even worse when some of the stupid con artists claim NOT to have received an item when they have actually SIGNED for RECEIPT.

[Benjamin]

Why do birds suddenly appear?

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Benjamin

Why do birds suddenly appear?

But that's only when you are near Ben, and it's not a mystery, because it's down to your irrestible good looks and charisma that they want to be 'close to you'.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Benjamin

Why do birds suddenly appear?

Probably because of the smell from you

[Crimson Dynamo]

Why do birds always want "to talk"

[DemolitionRed]

Why do we often see just one shoe in the road?

[ebandit]

...how come greenland is just an island

...but australia gets to me a continent?

...looking at my world map they both should be described similarly.............

Mark L

[Cherie]

Why did we lose so many fine members who contributed to this thread

[Tozzie]

Originally Posted by Benjamin

Why do birds suddenly appear?

You mean every time you are near?
Well its like this:
Just like me,
they long to be,
Close to you.

Ahhhhhhhh ahhha a a Close to youuuu

[Tozzie]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

Why do birds always want "to talk"

Yeah my pigeon just wont shut up! Am bloody well sick'n it. Shoot the pigeon, shoot the pigeon, shoot the pigeon NOW!

[ebandit]

...ooops! wor dog caught a pigeon.............carried it around for ages...pleased

as punch

eventually got the pigeon off the dog..........had to dispatch the pigeon humanely

....easy as i'm tough as fu**....................except? wringing it's neck was hard........

Mark L

[Tozzie]

Originally Posted by ebandit

...ooops! wor dog caught a pigeon.............carried it around for ages...pleased

as punch

eventually got the pigeon off the dog..........had to dispatch the pigeon humanely

....easy as i'm tough as fu**....................except? wringing it's neck was hard........

Mark L

[Black Dagger]

oh thank god. thought he came back then.

[ebandit]

...how come when i drop/knock over something small and insignificant

.........in my rush to correct i always seem to drop/knock over something

larger and more important...................................oops!

Mark L

[Gusto Brunt]

And why when I drop anything on the carpet, it doesn't land at my feet it lands about 15 feet away (exaggeration - more like 6 feet).