[Crimson Dynamo]

I did warn members about Diesel fumes and fluoride

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Kazanne

I have a 13year old that is permantly stuck with one particular girl,they have sleepovers together all the time and take selfies,etc,I know mine is younger than yours but it may just be a girlie thing and if it is anything else,she will tell you in her own time I'm sure.Don't worry too much.

Yeah none of the things you said make her sound like she's into girls tbh, she sounds like a normal 16 year old

[Crimson Dynamo]

I agree that LIttle Mix are a very bad influence and Ron if you can bin all the records she has by them I would, also burn posters etc

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

I agree that LIttle Mix are a very bad influence and Ron if you can bin all the records she has by them I would, also burn posters etc

[waterhog]

Originally Posted by Jamie89

None of that stuff you mentioned makes her a lesbian, she sounds just like any other 16 year old girl to me. If she is though she needs to tell you in her own time and not be asked or pressured about it. And if she is, and the sleepover is a secret ploy to spend the night with her girl friend, then would you not rather have that happen in a safe place like your house rather than who knows where? I know it might make you uncomfortable but compare that discomfort to knowing that she's snuck out in the middle of the night and you not knowing where she is or what she's doing or what kind of danger she might get herself into.

jamie89 - you was reading my mind - I agree with you. 100%

[Withano]

Are you gonna tell her not to learn to drive at 17? Not to drink alcohol at 18? Or is this only about sex? I find it a bit odd that you'd restrict her from doing things which she is legally allowed to do? In my opinion, you need to accept that shes aged, and you cant really stop her from doing any of these things no matter how hard you try.. because to everyone else in the country, shes old enough to do them..
a pharmacist wont need your permission to sell her condoms, a driving instructer wont need your permission next year, and a bartender wont need your permission the year after that. Its just the way life works.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Withano

Are you gonna tell her not to learn to drive at 17? Not to drink alcohol at 18? Or is this only about sex? I find it a bit odd that you'd restrict her from doing things which she is legally allowed to do? In my opinion, you need to accept that shes aged, and you cant really stop her from doing any of these things no matter how hard you try.. because to everyone else in the country, shes old enough to do them..
a pharmacist wont need your permission to sell her condoms, a driving instructer wont need your permission next year, and a bartender wont need your permission the year after that. Its just the way life works.

Are you kidding me? I hope you have your own daughter some day and come back to me then

There is not a hope in hell my daughter would have permission to have a boyfriend stay over and I would kick her ass if I found out she was having sex

[Withano]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Are you kidding me? I hope you have your own daughter some day and come back to me then

There is not a hope in hell my daughter would have permission to have a boyfriend stay over and I would kick her ass if I found out she was having sex

But then whats the alternative? If not your house then where? I feel like its almost trading a parents discomfort for their childs discomfort. Its sort of inevitably gonna happen, and its a parents choice whether that happens comfortably or not
(To be fair, I'd imagine most people would want to wait until their parents arent in the house anyway, then its just a case of 'what you dont know doesnt hurt you')

[Ronald.]

Originally Posted by Withano

Are you gonna tell her not to learn to drive at 17? Not to drink alcohol at 18? Or is this only about sex? I find it a bit odd that you'd restrict her from doing things which she is legally allowed to do? In my opinion, you need to accept that shes aged, and you cant really stop her from doing any of these things no matter how hard you try.. because to everyone else in the country, shes old enough to do them..
a pharmacist wont need your permission to sell her condoms, a driving instructer wont need your permission next year, and a bartender wont need your permission the year after that. Its just the way life works.

If only being a parent was as simple as that Withano. It's not so black and white and it's a bit naive of you to think it is. R.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Withano

But then whats the alternative? If not your house then where? I feel like its almost trading a parents discomfort for their childs discomfort. Its sort of inevitably gonna happen.

No where preferably. It's nothing to do with my discomfort by the way, it's to do with the fact that she's 16, she's still in school, she still has me paying for her to live so she can't afford to look after a baby should she fall pregnant. She isn't emotionally ready for sex and she certainly isn't emotionally or financially ready for the risks that come with it.

Of course it will happen at some point but 16 is too young imo, I honestly don't give a s**t what the legal age is (and it's 17 here not 16)

[Withano]

Originally Posted by ronaldrogers

If only being a parent was as simple as that Withano. It's not so black and white and it's a bit naive of you to think it is. R.

Does she know that you have this 'not under my roof' rule anyway?

[Withano]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

No where preferably. It's nothing to do with my discomfort by the way, it's to do with the fact that she's 16, she's still in school, she still has me paying for her to live so she can't afford to look after a baby should she fall pregnant. She isn't emotionally ready for sex and she certainly isn't emotionally or financially ready for the risks that come with it.

Of course it will happen at some point but 16 is too young imo, I honestly don't give a s**t what the legal age is (and it's 17 here not 16)

I actually agree its too young, I think America has one up on both our contries as far as this is concerned.. but her peers and her school is telling her differently.. they are (boys especially) fully aware of when they can legally have sex with no legal repercussions, theyve been aware since their first sex ed class at 11. If they believe they are ready, they wont look to parents, I dont think a 'not here, not anywhere' talk would work if theyre at that stage, and I think a 'not here' talk would put them in potential danger.

[Ronald.]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

No where preferably. It's nothing to do with my discomfort by the way, it's to do with the fact that she's 16, she's still in school, she still has me paying for her to live so she can't afford to look after a baby should she fall pregnant. She isn't emotionally ready for sex and she certainly isn't emotionally or financially ready for the risks that come with it.

Of course it will happen at some point but 16 is too young imo, I honestly don't give a s**t what the legal age is (and it's 17 here not 16)

I totally agree Niamh. R.

[Ronald.]

Originally Posted by Withano

Does she know that you have this 'not under my roof' rule anyway?

Absolutely, it goes without saying.. I'd like to think she wouldn't disrespect me and her mother like that - but teenagers don't always tell their parents the whole truth... R.

[Withano]

Originally Posted by ronaldrogers

Absolutely, it goes without saying.. I'd like to think she wouldn't disrespect me and her mother like that - but teenagers don't always tell their parents the whole truth... R.

It doesnt go without saying at all, you assuming it does is naive of you. My advice is dont tell her you have this rule anyway, I dont think it will be beneficial for the reasons I've listed above.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Withano

I actually agree its too young, I think America has one up on both our contries as far as this is concerned.. but her peers and her school is telling her differently, they are (boys especially) fully aware of when they can legally have sex with no legal repercussions, theyve been aware since their first sex ed class at 11.

Yeah absolutely

Luckily my daughter has had a fear of sickness since she was really small so talking about STi's helps alot

[Ronald.]

Originally Posted by Withano

It doesnt go without saying at all, you assuming it does is naive of you. My advice is dont tell her you have this rule anyway, I dont think it will be beneficial for the reasons I've listed above.

I think it does go without saying. She has a sister who had a boyfriend when she was growing up. She knew that the boyfriend was never allowed to stay over. She knows better to ask. R.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Are you kidding me? I hope you have your own daughter some day and come back to me then

There is not a hope in hell my daughter would have permission to have a boyfriend stay over and I would kick her ass if I found out she was having sex

too bloody right

[Ronald.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

too bloody right

Leather and Niamh speaking the truth as usual. R.

[Withano]

Originally Posted by ronaldrogers

I think it does go without saying. She has a sister who had a boyfriend when she was growing up. She knew that the boyfriend was never allowed to stay over. She knows better to ask. R.

Well, struggling to see why you needed advice in the first place. All kids should know (almost by default) that their parents are fine with homosexuality. If you fear that yours may not, it would be good to let them know somehow. But it seems like they will never have sex ever until they get married and thats definite, no more to say on that, she did after all have a sister with a boyfriend, who also definitely never had sex.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Ron does she like Lady Gaga, even after that terrible performance with Mettalica at the Grammys

If its a yes then that could be telling?

[Withano]

She has long hair LT, stop being silly.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Withano

She has long hair LT, stop being silly.

Not all have short hair i think

[Withano]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

Not all have short hair i think

Originally Posted by ronaldrogers

Thank you for all your advice . You're all right I shouldn't jump to conclusions . It's like not she's cut her hair short yet anyway .

Appreciate your advice nice to know if I have a problem I can ask you all . Have a good night forum . R.

You thought wrong.

[Ronald.]

Originally Posted by Withano

Well, struggling to see why you needed advice in the first place. All kids should know (almost by default) that their parents are fine with homosexuality. If you fear that yours may not, it would be good to let them know somehow. But it seems like they will never have sex ever until they get married and thats definite, no more to say on that, she did after all have a sister with a boyfriend, who also definitely never had sex.

No need for the attitude really is there . R.