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'Around the world in 80 private jets' and other adventures: PIERS MORGAN presents a hilarious sneak preview of the woke TV the world can expect from Meghan and Harry's $150million Netflix deal
………...what they have inspired is me to now cast a crystal ball and look into the future to imagine the kind of hyper-woke, self-serving productions that I look forward to seeing on Netflix from Megxit Productions:

1) HOW TO HAVE YOUR ROYAL CAKE AND EAT IT - An inspiring and educational film in which the Sussexes throw vegan tea (Echinacea, obviously!) parties at their palatial Santa Barbara mansion for random strangers and explain how to milk (Almond…obviously!) the Royal Family brand name for massive financial gain.

2) AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 PRIVATE JETS - A lavish travel docu-series in which we follow the Duke and Duchess around as they bang on endlessly about the environment, saving the planet and the urgent need to reduce one's carbon footprint during live broadcasts filmed aboard their famous friends' private jets. Cameos from George Clooney, Sir Elton John and bankers from JP Morgan.

3) THE BROTHER GRIMM - An animated children's film depicting a fierce sibling rivalry between a saintly, much-misunderstood sensitive caring hero named Harry who never does anything wrong and his evil older brother William who has the audacity to think being the heir to the throne gives him some kind of entitlement to be treated differently, and even worse, had the bloody gall to suggest Harry think hard about marrying an ultra-woke, fame-hungry, much older American C-list actress divorcee social climber with a history of dumping people.

4) MEAT THE PARENT FOCKERS - A horror movie reboot of the popular comedy movie franchise starring the heroine's father Thomas – played by Robert de Niro – who gets disowned for daring to do exactly what his daughter did and collude with paparazzi, and ends up suffering a grisly demise when furious Meghan throws him into a meat-packing mincer during an angry reunion. She immediately blames the incident on the 'racist media'.

5) THE FROWN – A regal drama sequel to The Crown in which a rogue asteroid hits Sandringham during Christmas lunch, wiping out the top tier of the Royal Family, and meaning Harry and Meghan – who snubbed the holiday to be on Oprah's yacht instead - finally become King and Queen. Unfortunately, having got what they so badly craved, they spend so much time whining about everything ('The gold-plated Buckingham Palace toilet seats don't have enough gold in them!) and greedily exploiting their new-found status (Meghan is caught selling 'boring' royal art on eBay) that the British public rises up in fury and demands Prince Andrew replaces them as Monarch to reintroduce some integrity to the throne.

6) KEEPING UP WITH THE SUSSEXES – A Kardashian-style 24/7 fly-on-the-wall reality show featuring Harry and Meghan as two very private people leading very private lives with lots of scenes involving their son Archie who they want to keep very private.

7) FROGMORE COTTAGE – An enthralling Downtown Abbey style period drama set inside the lavish walls of the Sussexes' home in England where a huge privileged family spend the entire time plotting against each other and settling endless petty scores.

8) IS MEGHAN OK? - A powerful mental health documentary filmed at the height of the pandemic when health workers earning a pittance were dying in their droves trying to save lives. It features Meghan, wearing a suit of armor once worn by Joan of Arc, sitting inside billionaire star Tyler Perry's Beverly Hills mansion, being served chilled champagne by a butler, as Harry washes her laundry, asking the one burning question everyone in the world was asking as Covid-19 ran riot – 'WHY DOES NOBODY ASK MEGHAN IF SHE'S OK?'

9) WOKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO - A musical about a ginger-haired teetotal kale-munching pop star named Harry Prince that falls for a fame-hungry B-list actress who forces him to abandon his family and country, wokes him to within an inch of his life, and then dumps him for Leonardo DiCaprio when he offers her co-star role in Titanic 2.

10) I DON'T WANT TO BE A VACUOUS CELEBRITY ANY MORE, GET ME OUT OF HERE – Harry finally grows a pair big enough to escape his woke hell, comes home, plays naked billiards, re-joins the Army and marries one of the dim blonde Young Conservatives that his brother told him he should marry in the first place.