[Craig]

Gotan the Tango God.

Here are some images of "Gotan", my Tango doll. I bought him a few years ago during a soft-drinks promotion run by "Tango". His clothes I stole from Action Man, but its okay, Action Man's a jerk.



Although its been a while since he was discharged, he rarely takes off his old army uniform.



He took a serious beating, but I eventually managed to get him naked and in front of a camera



Here's a shot from the side. He always dreamed of becoming a dancer, but his monstrous posture prevented that.



And from behind. His right arm got knackered in a helicopter accident during Desert Storm.



Looking at his right side you begin to realise what a psychopath he really is. If he were even given a gun again, who knows the terror he could wreak.



A close-up of his butt reveals a hideous branding acquired in an Iraqi concentration camp. I asked him about it once and he killed all my pets. Even my hamster, Billy.



This guy is so scary. Look how tiny Darth Vader looks next to him. Thankfully, his midihlorian count is too low to ever become a Jedi.



He's a mean singer though. Shame he's such a screw-up.



Look at those demented eyes. Homer and Iron Man were dead 6 seconds after this photo was taken.

Some people really are bored... I got that off a site, all of that