[selfinflicted]

Dear Channel 4,

I would like to complain about the behaviour of the crowd last night.
After watching 12 weeks of wholesome, civilised, not to mention educational programming, where housemates strived to be decent, polite, well behaved and caring individuals, it was the last thing I expected, I can tell you!
The crowd were obviously all racist, or jealous, or bitches, or anything to deflect responsibility away from dearest makosi, who behaved impeccibly throughout.
I would like you to go round all the crowds houses and tell their mums what they were up to. Maybe you could ask them to ground them for a week or two. That would make them think twice next time they feel like voicing their opinions!
Alternatively, you could just pre record the evictions and remove any booing like they used to do in communist Russia.
Please ensure that this is seen to as soon as possible, as I'm sure you don't have anything more important to do!
Yours,
A. Hypocrite.


PS, can you make sure that that scumbag football hooligan maxwell, and his chavvy slag bird, get to know that I really hate them and wouldn't care if they died tomorrow.