[Patrick]

Right, My mum just came in there now and was like saying night and that and I was like:


'Did you record EastEnders?'
She goes, 'Yeah love'
I was like, 'In HD?'
She said, 'No on BBC3 Why?'
I'm so pissed off, I'm like 'FOR GOD SAKE!'

We had a very quick row about the difference HD makes to a TV Show before she went to walk out the door.

And I go,

'Oh mum by the way, tomorrow can you pick my up some of that Incest for my room'

She just looked at me and walked out.

I'm actually so embarrassed, I went to google this Goth shop in town that burns this awesome stuff that smells brilliant, right?
And I found out that I had pronounced the word wrong!

It's meant to be incense.

I basically asked her to pick me up some illegal family porn for my room, without knowing it.

Jesus Christ.