[waterhog]

gym junkie vicar tackles sticky finger junkie


silence please,
morning service is about to resume,
and what is about to happen,
wont even leave the vicar immune.
it was intelligence led ,
Christine Cargill was on the prowl,
for Eric Mcdougall this is bad,
steeling from a church and god is foul.
so what did Christine do,
is she a trained defence sheriff,
no she is a assistant at St James's church,
its in West hampstead in a road called Sherriff.
blocking the way,
she then called to Andrew the vicar for mediation,
Andrew Cain and not batman intervened,
all i can say is, shocked was the congregation.
orders followed in a powerful voice,
"empty your pockets and kneel",
i want everything back,
all that you did conceal.
a mobile phone was produced,
along with a silver corkscrew,
but the £20 charity stall takings,
is enough to make the most hardened criminals spew.
Christine did judge,
i don't think the church will disagree, never,
the truth was spoke,
Ms Cargill said " he wasn't particularly clever".
at first he denied,
so the police i was going to phone,
i had to borrow his,
he had pinched it or it was the same clone.
so what is mr Cains presence,
is he over weight or slim,
with a body like Arnold swatznigar,
i no he attends the gym.
with 14 years service,
fear was not on my rating,
Andrew may have said it,
but even i feel he looks a fair bit intimidating.
is this the first time of bravery,
or has Andrew already faced a break and entry,
well at the elephant and castle in his birthday suit it happened,
but if he has given chase, he would have been streaker of the century.
mr Mcdougall pleaded guilty,
for stealing £150, a cork screw and the vicars phone,
he got sentenced to 2 months,
in her majesty's throne.
mr Mcdougall has the T-shirt,
for a previous burglary he has served time,
both will now run concurrent,
but his punishment is being in a cell next to me because of this rime.

(on a london bus last night i picked up this paper and when i got home i put this togther on this story - i hope you can all laugh at the end of my poem )