[jennyjuniper]

A young man called Bloggs joins the army. He's a bit timid and his sergeant is a right bastard.
About a month later a call comes through that Blogg's dad has just died, so the Commander says to the sergeant 'Tell Bloggs his dad has died and give him 2 weeks compassionate leave.
The sergeant goes to the barracks and says 'Bloggs your dad has just snuffed it. Piss off for 2 weeks'.
Bloggs is going out of the camp in tears and the Commander sees him and asks what's wrong.
'It's my dad sir', he says, 'But it was the way I was told about it really'.
Anyway he goes home and 2 weeks later returns.
A month after that the Commander gets a call that Blogg's mum has passed away, He tells the sergeant to tell Bloggs, but adds 'Be a bit more subtle about it this time.
The sergeant goes to the barracks and orders everyone out onto the parade ground.
He lines them all up and shouts 'Everyone with mothers to the left. Bloggs, where the f....... hell are you going'?