[Jay.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

I think it depends on circumstances really, a lot of people are lucky enough to have parents / siblings / other family who can help with childcare and that makes the decision to go back to work easy. We decided for one of us to stay home until they were school age and one of us to work which works OK for us (we have literally zero help from family, unfortunately), my wife works from home as well, she has run various websites and is currently writing, but now with the youngest being diagnosed ASD it's all a bit uncertain and it may well be that there will never be a time when we can both work, as our daughter might need one of us permanently. Or she might be fully capable of being independent and going to school by five or six. She is only 2.5 so it's impossible to know.

Anyway, rambling about myself a bit, my point is that going back to work genuinely isn't an option for everyone. Not everyone has family to help OR a partner. And not even always because they've gotten "knocked up" as a single mum - we know a woman who was with her partner for years, they planned a baby together, and then when he was born the dad just said "I can't do this" and left never to be heard from again other than paltry child support. Another friend was with her husband for several years, they owned a home together, had TWO children, and he arrived home one day and announced that he had been seeing someone else, wanted to leave, and wanted to sell the house. Circumstances vary widely. That's not to say that there aren't people who are "lazy" (although again, if you are lazy the LAST thing you want to do is have children!) and exploit what's available but I personally don't think those people are worth tearing the whole system down for, when some genuine people need it to live normal lives.

Oh god, that's awful. Hope you are all okay. But I said obviously not everyone, some people do deserve the help obviously, but I know some people, where I live, who have had more children just for more money etc. who have massive families, who could easily look after their children. Now, obviously people are going to look down on that. There ought to be a system where they look into who could look after the children whilst the parent is at work etc. it would just make a lot more sense.