[Z]

Queen Josei Lezsister surveyed the bleak grey castle rising ahead of her with a face as unreadable as Mokkajava's handwriting after she'd been on another binge. She rode beside her husband, the great King James of House Banthemall. With them were her children, Gypsygoffrey, Tømmen and Smithyrcella and an enormous procession of knights of the realm. The road north was near enough deserted; everyone was on their best behaviour as they feared the almighty power of their King and Queen. They were to discuss matters with Nate Stark and his wife, lady Caitlin, regarding the safety of the kingdom. The exiled Swan Princess, Rose McGowan of House Targayformen was rumoured to be amassing an army to be reckoned with and they needed to plan ahead for the impending war.

Queen Josei had heard all about Nate Stark from her husband who admired the man as a fellow compatriot of war. She had not been Queen when James and Nate had stormed the TiBB Towers and slain the Mad King Mark; but her twin sister Niamhie Lezsister had been - the Kinglayer they'd called her, she'd sexed the king to death. Their father, the tyrant Lezsister had married her off to James Banthemall to unite their houses and bring the Lezsisters into the fold; though the marriage had been an unhappy one. She mulled over her thoughts as they approached the gates of the castle and decided to put them to the back of her mind for now.

---

Rose McGowan stared wistfully at the waves lapping the shore. Her clothes were filthy and her husband, Khal Novo, was busy teaching another twink a lesson for defying him. She was the Swan Princess, bound one day to become the Swan Queen, but the usurpers James Banthemall and Josei Lezsister had conspired to exile her to the land of the banned in the east. Every so often they encountered ghouls who had been doomed to roam these lands for eternity - horrible creatures that shrieked battle cries that sounded oddly like names to Rose's untrained ears - Stacey! Salman! Setanta! - but she understood none of these barbarian languages - words like "football" and "sport" cropped up a lot but she had no idea what they meant. She yearned for the days when she could speak the native filthy tongue that her daddy, the bear Dom Top of House Targayformen had taught her - filthy bottom bitches know best, Rose - she could hear him now, she could see his face even, all handlebar moustached and adorned with sunglasses and a slutty policeman's uniform.

She would return to TiBB one day and reclaim her rightful place in her homeland, she had vowed, but the months and years had crept up on her and she feared that time was running out.

---

Shaun Snow was bloody freezing. They'd had him standing at this flimsy gate at the foot of the garden for hours now, shooing away wild things from the freshly painted wood.

"My son, this is a noble task, carried out by generations of my kin for centuries," Nate Stark had told him.
"But I'm not your kin, I'm a bastard!" Shaun had angrily shouted at his father.
"You will not talk to my husband in that way!" Lady Caitlin had thundered and Shaun Snow had cowered away from her.
"Butch dyke." He muttered as they walked away. He was a bastard, only half as fierce as his brothers and sisters, he would never truly be one of them. He looked sad as his uncle Benjamin approached him from the rear, taking him by surprise.
"Uncle Benjamin!" Shaun cried out in pleasure.
"Call me daddy," Benjamin responded quietly, acknowledging his paternal role in Shaun Snow's life in lieu of Nate's own lack of responsibility.
"Yes daddy!" Shaun's willingness was plain for all to see, earning a disgusted look from Lady Caitlin.
"Boy, I want to take you over the wall." Benjamin exclaimed.
"Yes, take me anywhere! I'll do whatever you want!" Shaun had tears in his eyes.
"Good, then I shall ride you over the wall at the break of dawn." Ben pulled away and walked off, leaving Shaun breathless with excitement.

"Nate, I'm all for Shaun Snow and your ****ing brother to leave, but what of the Lezsister woman and the King? They've been here for days - I saw MTVyrioN Lezsister put his banhammer somewhere I dare not mention and his sister Niamhie Lezsister is so arrogant I could cut a bitch." She dared not mention her feelings towards the children - Gypsygoffrey and Smithyrcella in particular made her feel like a Monster in her own Haus, it was driving her GaGa.
"My lady Caitlin, we must be patient. They'll be on their way soon enough... but I'm afraid I must accept the Hand job that King James has offered me."
"Nate, you know this is madness, that Hand job will kill you!"
"I can't refuse, he's the King - and it's still the Hand job, it would be a great honour to receive this from the King." Nate couldn't hide the faint smile playing on his lips.
"You listen to me Nate Stark - I am no fool - that Hand job will change our lives forever, it will be the death of you, our marriage; our children will never be the same again and it will evoke the wrath of Queen Josei - she may be a Lezsister but she does not want the King to give you the Hand job!" Caitlin's words were heavy with dread.
"I must - it's my duty." Nate gave his final word on the matter. "Now I must leave, my King needs me."

---

to be continued...?