[Mitchell]

Take whatever name is beside the first letter of your name
A - Aaron
B - Danny
C - Joel
D - Kieran
E - Chloe
F - Marc
G - Harry Amelia
H - Sarah
I - Cristian
J - Adjoa
K - Eileen
L - Jack
M - Sally
N - Sam
O - Emma Willia
P - Nick
Q - A bed
R - Harriet
S - Simon
T - Amy
U - Jade
V - Aaron
W - Danny
X - Joel
Y - Kieran
Z - Chloe

To Be

Take whatever month you were born in
Jan - Arrested
Feb - Involved in orgy
March - Join ISIS
April - Joined by her Milkman
May - Chucked out of the house
June - Offered a hollywood career
July - Offered a porno
August - Revealed as an actor
Sep - Revealed as a page 3 girl
October - Exposed as a prostitute
November - Sued
December - Shredded

After
Take whatever the last number of the year you were born (for example if you were born in 1967 take the 7)
0 - Punching
1 - Kissing
2 - Humping
3 - Motorboating
4 - Rowing with
5 - Shouting at
6 - Sleeping with
7 - Admitting to fancy
8 - chewing on
9 - Slapping

Then finally pick whatever letter your username begins with
A - Joel
B - Chloe
C - Harry Amelia
D - Adjoa
E - Jack
F - Emma Willis
G - Sam
H - Aaron
I - Marc
J - Harriet
K - Jade
L - Eileen
M - Kieran
N - Sarah
O - Danny
P - Cristian
Q - Sally
R - Amy
S - Nick
T - A bed
U - Simon
V - Joel
W - Chloe
X - Harry Amelia
Y - Adjoa
Z - Jack