[Daniel-X]

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MAUREEN CARPETMUNCH ARRESTED AFTER VIOLENT OUTBURST'

Shoppers at Will's supermarket today were kept distressed after seeing contraception expert Maureen Carpertmunch violently rip off two men's penis' after catching them perving on her Turkish fiancée Jezebelle Grey's arse. Shoppers went into wild panic when Maureen ran down the cereal aisle with two cocks in each hand screaming 'HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE MAUREEN CARPETMUNCH SCORNED' before she slipped on a bottle of nesco coffee beans and impaled one of the erect dicks in her mouth.

Carpetmunch was arrested at the scene by security guard Beryl who slapped Maureen to the floor with the other erect cock. Maureen suffered several injurys but in an interview with Zoo magazine Maureen commented 'Having that erect cock in my mouth really made me realise that maybe carpet munching isn't half as good as a good sausage in your mouth.' Maureen has been given a five minute setence regarding her actions but will be appealing later in court today for a two minute setence.

Beryl the security guard was here to comment today 'I got really set when I saw Maureen sucking the cock and I couldn't help but orgasm myself but I realised it was job to tackle this bitch. Beryl takes no **** and it's time for people to wake up and smell the flavoured condom.'