[Daniel-X]

'

MAUREEN CARPETMUNCH ARRESTED AFTER VIOLENT OUTBURST'

Shoppers at Will's supermarket today were kept distressed after seeing contraception expert Maureen Carpertmunch violently rip off two men's penis' after catching them perving on her Turkish fiancée Jezebelle Grey's arse. Shoppers went into wild panic when Maureen ran down the cereal aisle with two cocks in each hand screaming 'HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE MAUREEN CARPETMUNCH SCORNED' before she slipped on a bottle of nesco coffee beans and impaled one of the erect dicks in her mouth.

Carpetmunch was arrested at the scene by security guard Beryl who slapped Maureen to the floor with the other erect cock. Maureen suffered several injurys but in an interview with Zoo magazine Maureen commented 'Having that erect cock in my mouth really made me realise that maybe carpet munching isn't half as good as a good sausage in your mouth.' Maureen has been given a five minute setence regarding her actions but will be appealing later in court today for a two minute setence.

Beryl the security guard was here to comment today 'I got really set when I saw Maureen sucking the cock and I couldn't help but orgasm myself but I realised it was job to tackle this bitch. Beryl takes no **** and it's time for people to wake up and smell the flavoured condom.'

[Will.]

BREAKING!!!!!!!

Local Journalist Daniel-X is now Deputy Director of Will's supermarket.


MORE TO FOLLOW....

[Will.]

Todays events have been tragic, Beryl has been promoted to head security guard.

[Daniel-X]

Originally Posted by Will1999

Todays events have been tragic, Beryl has been promoted to head security guard.

Wise words from the queen herself

'I got really wet when I saw Maureen sucking the cock and I couldn't help but orgasm myself but I realised it was job to tackle this bitch. Beryl takes no **** and it's time for people to wake up and smell the flavoured condom.'

[Will.]

'I got really wet when I saw Maureen sucking the cock and I couldn't help but orgasm myself but I realised it was job to tackle this bitch. Beryl takes no **** and it's time for people to wake up and smell the flavoured condom.'

[Vanessa]

Customers having fun.

[Daniel-X]

Originally Posted by Vanessa

Customers having fun.

Pavlo has a bi-polar episode and shoots them all

[Will.]

BREAKING: Daniel-X has decided it times for a shack up in the store: Beryl will be offering Safe Sex talks for young people in the supermarket cafe.

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by Daniel-X

Pavlo has a bi-polar episode and shoots them all

[Daniel-X]

PAVLO REVEALS HE IS JALE'S ESTRANGED FATHER

Security guard Pavlo Cheesynachos has today revealed in an exclusive interview with BBC Good Food (Mexican edition) that Jale Burrito is intact his daughter.

Cheesynachos and Burriots mother agreed to keep the identity of Jale's father a secret at birth after Cheesynachos left Burritos mother Marina for Mike the check out boy after discovering his gay side after getting erect over Rob and Aaron on Emmerdale. Marina bleached Jale's skin to make sure she never found out her true identity.

Jale commented 'I was always told as a child that a Burrito was a Chinese delicacy so I never suspected a thing. I got nervous when I noticed some frozen burritos in the store next to a fajita kit but I chose to ignore it. I'm fine with Mike being my new step father it's just going to be awkward sharing the same man with my dad :/'

[Calderyon]

Spoiler:

BREAKING NEWS: Awesome Mart Inc. is in talks of acquiring the majority share of the assets concerning Wackadoodle Co., the company behind Willmart Ltd.
This comes as a bit of surprise as there was no indication on the market of this occurring. But that being said, it fits with Awesome Mart´s strategy to buy small and medium markets and stores and then either leave them as they are or integrate them to their vast populace of their convenience stores.

The prize of sale is predicted to be approximately $1 500 000.

CEO Caldrion Vandeviors Protanokovski-Liedermain said: "Our acquisition of Wackadoodle Co. and Willmart Co. is part of our long term plan to become increasingly larger in terms of retail business and thus eventually take over Walmart and become the number 1. And we will do it, trust me."

1st part of this to turn every supermarket we as a 24/7 open store. 2nd part is to continue like we done in the past.

Awesome Mart: "Everyday, 24/7, reasonable prices!". Awesome Mart, Your choice!"

----------------
Awesome Mart Inc, founded by Rhoderius Machenheimer Randelson II in 1978 it is a one of the leading retail marketing businesses nationally only surpassed by Walmart Inc at the moment.

It´s purpose has always been to produce good products, good & friendly service, be always near, always around and always have a reasonable price.

They currently have stores all over the nation with a total of 8 245 in 17 countries. They currently have 1.5 million employers.

According to their last income statement Awesome Inc. their sales/revenue is now 395,85 billion dollars US while their total Gross Income (after deductions have been made) is at 101,43 Billion dollars US, Opereting income at 22,24 billion dollars, total assests at 143,32 billion, total equity at 65,23 billion dollars and their net income at 12,98 billion dollars.

Thus they recently surpassed Magnifico Retail Enterprises in terms of income and are now second overall in their respected business.

[Vanessa]

A celeb has been spotted doing his food shopping!

[Daniel-X]

Originally Posted by Daniel-X

PAVLO REVEALS HE IS JALE'S ESTRANGED FATHER

Security guard Pavlo Cheesynachos has today revealed in an exclusive interview with BBC Good Food (Mexican edition) that Jale Burrito is intact his daughter.

Cheesynachos and Burriots mother agreed to keep the identity of Jale's father a secret at birth after Cheesynachos left Burritos mother Marina for Mike the check out boy after discovering his gay side after getting erect over Rob and Aaron on Emmerdale. Marina bleached Jale's skin to make sure she never found out her true identity.

Jale commented 'I was always told as a child that a Burrito was a Chinese delicacy so I never suspected a thing. I got nervous when I noticed some frozen burritos in the store next to a fajita kit but I chose to ignore it. I'm fine with Mike being my new step father it's just going to be awkward sharing the same man with my dad :/'

Wow

[Will.]

Originally Posted by Daniel-X

PAVLO REVEALS HE IS JALE'S ESTRANGED FATHER

Security guard Pavlo Cheesynachos has today revealed in an exclusive interview with BBC Good Food (Mexican edition) that Jale Burrito is intact his daughter.

Cheesynachos and Burriots mother agreed to keep the identity of Jale's father a secret at birth after Cheesynachos left Burritos mother Marina for Mike the check out boy after discovering his gay side after getting erect over Rob and Aaron on Emmerdale. Marina bleached Jale's skin to make sure she never found out her true identity.

Jale commented 'I was always told as a child that a Burrito was a Chinese delicacy so I never suspected a thing. I got nervous when I noticed some frozen burritos in the store next to a fajita kit but I chose to ignore it. I'm fine with Mike being my new step father it's just going to be awkward sharing the same man with my dad :/'

omg lol

[arista]

Madame you Skirt has broken

[Will.]

Beryl, Noreen and Mary Ann are looking forward to the CBB launch:

Beryl said: "I cant wait to see a lesbo sex session in there, it makes me so wet".

Mary Ann: "I cant wait to orgasm over James Hill."

[Will.]

Another major incident has occurred in the Supermarket, Daniel is seeing whats happened...

[Daniel-X]

PAVLO CHEESYNACHOS BODY FOUND BEHIND CHEESE COUNTER

Not long after the reveal that Cheesynachos was Jale Burritos father his body has been found behind the cheese counter at Will's supermarket. Norah Lickmeout found Cheesynachos body behind the counter and rung an ambulance immediately and Cheesynachos was pronounced dead at the scene.

CCTV footage has revealed that Cheesynachos was heading towards the cheese counter for some more cheese to put on his nachos however Jale Burrito began to panic after her father failed to return with their cheese. Police have announced that they suspect the death could be a murder after a large piece of cheddar cheese was found concealed in Cheesynachos DNA and blood.

Police have failed to convict someone for the murder but Marina Burrito has been named a suspect in the case.

[Will.]

BREAKING: POLICE HAVE CONFIRMED THAT PAVLO (CHEESE NACHO) was MURDERED!

WHO KILLED PAVLO?

[Calderyon]

Spoiler:

BREAKING NEWS: The sale of Wackadoodle Co. and Willmart Ltd. to Awesome Mart Inc. has been approved and will be ratified and confirmed in the next few days. Or hours.

[Daniel-X]

Omfg we have our first big storyline!

Even though Pavlo is no longer with us </333 he needs to be put in past workers </333

[Will.]

Originally Posted by Daniel-X

Omfg we have our first big storyline!

Even though Pavlo is no longer with us </333 he needs to be put in past workers </333

bless Pavlo <333

[Will.]

Me, Daniel and Norah are looking over CCTV footage, we will release a press statement at 9pm.

[T*]

*a helicopter crashes into the supermarket like on emmerdale*

[Will.]

Shocking revelations on the CCTV footage.