[Shaun]

Another late entry comes in the form of Israel! Normally I wouldn't allow it but I'm a little bit scared of Livia so I'll just sneak it in... I'm sure everyone will understand and I've only had 3 votes so far from non-judges so if you (Riley, TwentyOneThrones, Withano) would like to change your votes, I'll allow it!

Originally Posted by Livia

Israel's belated entry:

I’m a Racist and I Didn’t Know

By The Tel Aviv String Quintet and a Guy on a Little Keyboard.

Youtube video

I thought I’d buy Niamh an Irish advent calendar
I said “It represents the culture of your land”
I put quite a lot of thought to it
But it dropped me right in the ****
Can’t imagine how my prezzie could offend her.

I found a calendar with twenty four compartments in
And I decided it was perfect for my needs.
In every pocket I placed a spud
And now it seems she’s after my blood
I thought she’d love it but no, it’s left her fuming.

She didn’t have to slap me up
Pull my hair and break the heels of my Manolos
I didn’t like the Chinese burn
And she tried to shove the ‘tatoes where the sun don’t shine.
She didn’t have to key my car
And scratch the words “You’re a dorty fecking racist so”
I took it on the chin though
Cos it turns out I’m a racist but I didn’t know
It turns out I’m a racist but I didn’t know
It turns out I’m a racist but I didn’t know

I didn’t like to think that I could have upset her
So I went and got her some lovely Christmas gifts
A penny whistle and a pig
A gif of Bono doing an Irish jig
A statue of a little leprechaun
A copy of The Quiet Man, and a painting of His Holiness the Pope

Well it didn’t go down too well.
I got a thumping and a really painful dead leg
And just as I was falling down
I heard the words I still hear now inside my head
“Yer a dorty fecking racist, so”
To prove I’m not next year I’m buying her a puppy
But I won’t buy a black one though.
Because, I’m not a racist but, well… you know….

Because, I’m not a racist but, well… you know….
Because, I’m not a racist but, well… you know….

Because, I’m not a racist but, well… you know….