[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

The actual worst I saw was on the forum I ran - someone was complaining that she couldn't get income support/child tax credits and was having to get by on just child benefit (£35 a week) for both her and the kids ... when her husband was on over £150k/year salary. He paid their mortgage, bills etc, and for the food and household goods shopping but other than that wouldn't give her any money. Clothes for herself, things like days out with the kids, all were supposed to be funded from "her income"... and she vehemently defended this position and was only angry that she couldn't get more benefits "as she personally had no income". I should clarify - this wasn't a child support situation. They were married, living together, and planning more kids.

I was utterly gobsmacked and it kind of kicked off a bit. She was one of our mods, it was pretty messy . Part of the dramatic "factional split" and end of the forum actually .

I mean I presume they were actually his children too? That is horrific though, how on earth could he justify that in his own head? I mean you can't actually like your partner (or your children) very much if you're watching them struggle while you're getting paid a massive salary, it's pretty disgusting financial abuse. That woman was probably suffering some serious manipulation by him. The thing to do there (well what I'd do is leave the prick but) would be to get back to work yourself and pay someone to mind the children and have him contribute towards that to see how much her being at home actually saves the family

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I mean I presume they were actually his children too? That is horrific though, how on earth could he justify that in his own head? I mean you can't actually like your partner (or your children) very much if you're watching them struggle while you're getting paid a massive salary, it's pretty disgusting financial abuse. That woman was probably suffering some serious manipulation by him. The thing to do there (well what I'd do is leave the prick but) would be to get back to work yourself and pay someone to mind the children and have him contribute towards that to see how much her being at home actually saves the family

Yep, his own kids . She insisted she was totally on board with their setup, that he "offered her housekeeping money" but she felt wrong in "taking his money from him" (but fine on benefits - not that I have any issue at all with people who genuinely need them, we got Child Tax Credit for several years, but in this case really quite confusing).

I'm not sure I believed her though, nor did several other members, and that's partly what caused such a massive drama, the term "financial abuse" did come up and that's when it went into meltdown.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Yep, his own kids . She insisted she was totally on board with their setup, that he "offered her housekeeping money" but she felt wrong in "taking his money from him" (but fine on benefits - not that I have any issue at all with people who genuinely need them, we got Child Tax Credit for several years, but in this case really quite confusing).

I'm not sure I believed her though, nor did several other members, and that's partly what caused such a massive drama, the term "financial abuse" did come up and that's when it went into meltdown.

Taking money from her own husband for HIS kids? wtf? You're either a family or you're not :/