[Mystic Mock]

It can range from Video Games, TV Shows/Anime, Movies, Restaurants, or other types of Industries that have had reviews done on them.

Basically what is the dumbest review that you've ever seen? To the point where you thought that there was something wrong with the individual that made it? Not because it's a differing opinion but because the review is either ridiculously unfair, or the reviewer to be polite about it, might not have a lot going on upstairs? And I get the irony of myself insulting other people's intelligence.

For me it's between seven reviews and I can't separate them because they're all baffling for different reasons.

In no particular order:

1. That professional Movie critic that tried to compare Sonic's second Movie to LOTR, mainly how the Chaos Emerald story is carbon copying the ring plot from LOTR, and trust me to anyone that's not familiar with either series, this review is bull**** from this critic. For starters LOTR is a Medieval Fantasy series with a more dark tone in comparison to either Sonic Movie, plus the ring from LOTR definitely operates in a much more sinister way on the characters mental psyche than the Chaos Emerald ever does in either Sonic Movie. I can't believe that I have to say that tbh, especially given that a Movie critic should be a bit more open minded and judging different Movies on different criterias, not comparing a modern Earth-based Kids borderline Superhero Fantasy Series with a Medieval High Fantasy series that's aiming for a slightly more mature audience in comparison to Sonic.

2. A TV Show critic that attacked a Sci-Fi Show called Killjoys for being a Sci-Fi Show, I kid you not. I honestly don't even know where to begin so I'll just leave it at that, rather than ranting again about another terrible review

3. Again another TV critic who bashed The Witcher TV Series in it's first Season despite only watching two episodes. Now I'm not one of them that thinks that you have to watch the entire Season to form an opinion, but when you're not even watching the Show in a way that makes sense then there's gonna be a huge problem. Basically the guy watched the first episode and the finale and then said that the Show was ****. There are definitely problems with the Show imo, but not as much as what's wrong with this reviewer imo.

4. For me this was probably more of a community issue than an individual review for this TV Show, but the fact that The Rings Of Power got heavily attacked before the Show even debuted makes me skeptical of how "open-minded" were people really being towards the Show. Also whenever I personally would try to find out why some people had issues with the Show a lot of it was that it was "woke" and when you would try to find out why the Show was anymore woke than 95% of today's output, they'd show a picture of Lenny Henry's character in the programme. Now don't me wrong I know that there were genuine viewers who had issues with other aspects of the Show (I've debated with those people on here about the Show) and as their opinions are based on attributes that the Show has and are well explained to me, I can personally respect that opinion. However people on Twitter and YouTube just showing me a picture of Lenny Henry to describe how woke the Show is, is imo not cool and you're showing your hand when you do things like that.

5. A Video Game critic from IGN USA going around attacking Football Manager 2009 for not being like FIFA. For anyone that follows Sports Video Games it's kind of obvious why this review is insulting and unfair not just to the fans of the franchise/the wider gaming community, but to the division at Sega who are having a Game that they presumably worked really hard on get ripped apart not because of anything that the Game is doing wrong, but because it's not like another series that it's not even trying to be in the first place. Reviews like this make me mad, because a lot of people do read IGN's reviews and what they're saying in those reviews will swing a section of the Gaming community either way if they're giving out a positive or negative review of a Game, that's why in particular when leaving a negative review on any Video Game the reviewer needs to be well informed about the franchise, what that particular installment was going for, and then ultimately decide if it's for you or not, but never bash it for not being like a totally different series that the only thing that they have in common with each other is that they're about Football.

Here's the video that covers this terrible review of Football Manager 2009

Youtube video

I think that his coverage of the review begins at the 1:07 mark of the video for anyone that's interested.

6. I remember Amy Jade telling some of us on here a few years ago (sad that I still remember this conversation I know) that she read a review from a woman on a Food review site that left a bad review on a Takeaway joint because the driver's Car was dirty. Not that the food was unhygenic to eat, or that it tasted horrible, or the order was wrong, but because the driver leaves a mess in his Car. Now don't get me wrong I don't want to encourage drivers to have messy Cars, but it's not fair to attack the Takeaway for the fact that one of their driver's leaves one too many Chocolate Wrappers in his Car.

7. This one happened today and tbh inspired me to open this thread because it's so brain dead what was actually said that I'm not even gonna be polite about this one (and yes I think that I've found my winner for worst review) basically I was checking YouTube videos out where they were listing the "best modern (insert sub-genre) JRPG's" and on one of them Persona 5 and Dragon Quest XI were on the list as to be expected. However I went down into the YouTube comments section for the video in question, and I caught the most "wtf! did I just read" conversations that I think that I will ever read on the Internet. Basically it starts with the one user complaining about Persona 5 being boring because of the High School elements which in fairness was actually quite harmless on it's own, it's when it gets paired up with one of the users that quoted them where issues arise for me, basically the reply was along the lines of "give them both a chance as they take a few hours to get good, I quit Dragon Quest XI five times before digging deeper and start enjoying the Game, they're both very content heavy though." Now don't get me wrong I am not dictating to people that they need to like these two Games , or that you can't have personal flaws with the Games as that's each to their own. However why is a Game that requires you to actually have to follow a plot whilst also having to play a Video Game, whilst also having more things to do (which is actually a genre trope, therefore harsh criticism) a bad thing? It's comments like this why the entertainment industry is so horribly basic nowadays, it's not because people are being woke, it's because people struggle to follow anything that's beyond the writing of Paw Patrol's age group, and tbh I'm insulting Paw Patrol considering it actually has a cast of characters and is educational for it's target audience. Like I swear unless you're running around some grass in an Open World setting where you fight beasts or machines then these people don't want to know, forget actual level design and a decent story. But I guess I've learned that having a lot of content/adding depth to your Game is a bad thing these days.

Apologies for the rant, I feel like I've got it all off my chest.

As I've said already I honestly have no issue with people having a different opinion to my own, I do take issue with it though if I feel like they're unfair for some reason.

But anyway what's the reviews that are terrible in your opinion? Is there any that can beat these unique opinions?

[user104658]

Anyone who reviews The Last Of Us 2 lower than an 8/10. They can only possibly be doing it because they personally don't like elements of the storyline and feel "a grudge against the game" for that - but that's no way to objectively review something. It's well written (whether one subjectively LIKES the plot/characters or not), the gameplay is solid, the level design is excellent, the graphics are probably the pinnacle of the PS4 and tbh not really even beaten on PS5 so far, the voice acting is industry-leading. I'd say it's 9/10 game but objectively I'd say down to a 8/10 could still be objectively fair. Less than that and it's just people being bitter .

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Soldier Boy

Anyone who reviews The Last Of Us 2 lower than an 8/10. They can only possibly be doing it because they personally don't like elements of the storyline and feel "a grudge against the game" for that - but that's no way to objectively review something. It's well written (whether one subjectively LIKES the plot/characters or not), the gameplay is solid, the level design is excellent, the graphics are probably the pinnacle of the PS4 and tbh not really even beaten on PS5 so far, the voice acting is industry-leading. I'd say it's 9/10 game but objectively I'd say down to a 8/10 could still be objectively fair. Less than that and it's just people being bitter .

I haven't played the Game personally, but I did hear about a certain controversy that to me sounded like really dumb writing.

Spoiler:

Is it true that Ellie spared Joel's killer to not be "as bad as her" despite already killing all of her friends along the way? Because if so then Ellie's writing has genuine logic issues in the writing tbf.

I get where you're coming from though, because again without even playing the Game, the one thing it deserves a lot of credit for is the fact that it created huge waves with people that played it, imo people don't appreciate that enough in entertainment and instead prefer the Games that they won't even remember playing in a month's time.

[James]

One star review of the first series of Clarkson's Farm in The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-r...us-rides-again

It's obvious the writer hadn't watched past the first episode, if that, and had probably been tasked with writing a hit-piece.

Another writer in the paper did give it a good review later, though.

[Beso]

It wasn't really a review as such, but I once searched douche bag, on ebay. A few came up, but one caught my eye. Condition:Used.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Mystic Mock

I haven't played the Game personally, but I did hear about a certain controversy that to me sounded like really dumb writing.

Spoiler:

Is it true that Ellie spared Joel's killer to not be "as bad as her" despite already killing all of her friends along the way? Because if so then Ellie's writing has genuine logic issues in the writing tbf.

I get where you're coming from though, because again without even playing the Game, the one thing it deserves a lot of credit for is the fact that it created huge waves with people that played it, imo people don't appreciate that enough in entertainment and instead prefer the Games that they won't even remember playing in a month's time.

Spoiler:

That's a big over-simplification, she kills her way through Abby's friends to get to Abby and would definitely have killed Abby if she had got to her at that point - but Abby kicks her arse when they finally fight... However Abby then spares Ellie and sends her packin'.

Ellie and Co go home, there's a time jump of like 18 months, then Ellie gets a tip off about where to find Abby (South America I think). Her girlfriend begs her not to go etc. but she goes anyway on her own, finds Abby again, they fight again, this time Ellie almost kills Abby but realises it's all pointless and that her obsession with revenge means she's lost everything, and this time she let's Abby go.

The whole poi t of the plot is the futility of revenge, really. Abby killed Joel out of revenge, she found out it didn't make her feel better (and it ultimately got all of her friends killed)... Ellie eventually realises the same thing.

But yeah my point is even if the plot isn't everyone's cup of tea, it's still a beautifully crafted game that pushes the hardware (PS4 era) right to the limit... You could take off at most those 2 points for the story if you really don't like it but the game itself would still be a solid 8.

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Soldier Boy

Spoiler:

That's a big over-simplification, she kills her way through Abby's friends to get to Abby and would definitely have killed Abby if she had got to her at that point - but Abby kicks her arse when they finally fight... However Abby then spares Ellie and sends her packin'.

Ellie and Co go home, there's a time jump of like 18 months, then Ellie gets a tip off about where to find Abby (South America I think). Her girlfriend begs her not to go etc. but she goes anyway on her own, finds Abby again, they fight again, this time Ellie almost kills Abby but realises it's all pointless and that her obsession with revenge means she's lost everything, and this time she let's Abby go.

The whole poi t of the plot is the futility of revenge, really. Abby killed Joel out of revenge, she found out it didn't make her feel better (and it ultimately got all of her friends killed)... Ellie eventually realises the same thing.

But yeah my point is even if the plot isn't everyone's cup of tea, it's still a beautifully crafted game that pushes the hardware (PS4 era) right to the limit... You could take off at most those 2 points for the story if you really don't like it but the game itself would still be a solid 8.

Spoiler:

Yeah because personally that ending does suffer from being a bit bizarre for Ellie's character imo, and the end outcome is very cliched for revenge stories, but tbf cliches and tropes do exist for a reason.

But in fairness I doubt that the Game could be any worse than Sonic Frontiers, which for some reason people in the Sonic fandom are giving a pass to, even though it had an empty Open World, and ultimately no real level design for the actual Sonic platform levels. And I'm surprised because this is the same fandom that pulls up other Sonic Games for the most harsh of reasons sometimes, yet Sonic Frontiers can basically be a borderline scam and the fans lap it up because it's got "an Open World" and it's "darker" which automatically equals better in some of these peoples eyes.

[Mystic Mock]

And this is less about an individual review but more about a particular fandom, so apologies in advance to anyone that's in this fandom on here because I am very confused at the sentiment towards this Show that I'm about to defend, because while I personally don't like the Show for some of the things that it's being attacked for, I am surprised that it's fans would be attacking the Show for these reasons as well considering these "issues" that they're having with the Show has always been in the Show, and that Show is The Mandalorian.

The fans for Season 3 have attacked the Show for a slow paced story and it basically not really going anywhere, that was one of the main reasons why I never liked the Show in the first place, so I feel it's unfair then for the fans to be telling Disney that you love the style that they've gone for in the first two Seasons of the Show, and then Season 3 you start claiming to hate it and start blaming Disney for the Show's problems in that area when the fandom literally encouraged them to write the Show like that by praising the first two Seasons.

And then with the side character that Disney sacked from the Show, she was barely even in the Show, the fandom is acting like they've had a Glen moment off TWD with how they're saying it's **** without her.

Basically the people complaining about Season 3 of The Mandalorian strike me as people that aren't really fans of the Show, and basically jumped on the bandwagon because other people were hyping it up and they didn't wanna miss out on the discussion.

Credit to the people who are sticking up for the Show though and other people who have been like me and have always disliked the Show, because it's actually consistent with how we've always felt about the Show, and barring any substantial changes it's how we'll always feel about the Show on either side of the coin.

But honestly to the people complaining about Season 3, pay attention to what a Show is like in the first two Seasons before trying to spoil the Show for it's fans in the third Season.

[user104658]

TBH I only got about 4 or 5 eps into The Mandalorian ... I found it a bit slow .

I do like the theme tune though

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Soldier Boy

TBH I only got about 4 or 5 eps into The Mandalorian ... I found it a bit slow .

I do like the theme tune though

I got a little bit into Season 2, and honestly I don't feel like you missed much.

I agree with you on both points as well.

[James]

I thought season 1 of Mandalorian was okay, and not that exciting but I really liked Season 2. I liked the team of characters they put together towards the end (including the one that got sacked off the show). It was just about the first time I had got the old Original Trilogy feel back in Star Wars.

In Season 3 the writing hasn't really reached that level so far. Episode 4 was probably the best.

There's been a couple of action scenes in Season 3 I thought are overlong, and just there to show off the budget.

Originally Posted by Soldier Boy

TBH I only got about 4 or 5 eps into The Mandalorian ... I found it a bit slow .

I do like the theme tune though

Yeah, The Book of Boba Fett theme was a banger also, even better than Mando's theme.

[Mystic Mock]

It's not technically a review per say, but the opinion is so bad and offensive that it just is baffling to me.

Youtube video

The Twitter user in question not only insults the Berserk fans (which is stupid in itself) but the reason why they don't like the mature themed Dark Fantasy series is because it depicts rape.

Now don't get me wrong I'm not saying that everyone must love Berserk or it's particular genre tags, but this prick literally insults the fans twice, and I honestly am not even sure they have even read/watched a single second of this series, going by the fact that they don't even understand that Berserk isn't treating rape as a "fetish" but as something horrifying, plus they don't mention any characters or plots that they didn't even like.

So overall a really bad opinion, and the funny thing is, is that there are legit things to go for on Berserk (I'm not a blinkered fan) but this complete idiot who likes to mouth off at fans on Twitter just for liking something that they "don't" but likes Demon Slayer (which is basically family friendly Berserk) missed any actual flaws that Berserk has.

Because disliking a Dark Fantasy series for being a Dark Fantasy series is not legit criticism.

[Mystic Mock]

That clown on Twitter has also reminded me of this terrible review of Hi-Fi Rush.

Youtube video

Now personally I had my issues with Hi-Fi Rush, namely the combat gets a bit repetitive away from boss fights, and I personally would've liked the characters to have been more zany given the tone that the Game was going for.

However this person like the idiot attacking Berserk on Twitter, decided to attack Hi-Fi Rush "for not being serious enough" which is an unfair criticism to make on a Game that's not trying to be serious (shocking I know in 2023) and again like the idiot Berserk hater, they go on to attack Hi-Fi Rush fans for loving the Game, that imo makes anyone doing that hostile and you clearly can't debate opinions with them on a Video Game without them having a fit.

Just to clarify just ignore the first guy commentating on the video if you're not interested in what he is saying.

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Mystic Mock

It's not technically a review per say, but the opinion is so bad and offensive that it just is baffling to me.

Youtube video

The Twitter user in question not only insults the Berserk fans (which is stupid in itself) but the reason why they don't like the mature themed Dark Fantasy series is because it depicts rape.

Now don't get me wrong I'm not saying that everyone must love Berserk or it's particular genre tags, but this prick literally insults the fans twice, and I honestly am not even sure they have even read/watched a single second of this series, going by the fact that they don't even understand that Berserk isn't treating rape as a "fetish" but as something horrifying, plus they don't mention any characters or plots that they didn't even like.

So overall a really bad opinion, and the funny thing is, is that there are legit things to go for on Berserk (I'm not a blinkered fan) but this complete idiot who likes to mouth off at fans on Twitter just for liking something that they "don't" but likes Demon Slayer (which is basically family friendly Berserk) missed any actual flaws that Berserk has.

Because disliking a Dark Fantasy series for being a Dark Fantasy series is not legit criticism.

The idiot has decided to leave Twitter over his horrible opinion on a series that I'm convinced he hasn't even read/watched, but after attacking the fanbase, he got swarmed with negative comments.

He also bizarrely tried to call it a Paedo series when the one thing Berserk is actually very innocent on is Paedophilia content, there are Japanese series out there that imo do cross that line, but Berserk isn't one of them, they don't even celebrate rape as a good thing like he keeps thinking, it's how you can tell that he has never read a chapter of Berserk in his life.

As I've said before I'm not against negative opinions of Berserk, but borderline libel against the fans and Kentaro Miura's intentions is what I am objecting to with this guy's opinion.

[Livia]

Not a review, I know, but the Rustlers Burgers TV ad makes me laugh with its tagline "better than you think". Seems a little half-hearted if they're trying to sell them.

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Livia

Not a review, I know, but the Rustlers Burgers TV ad makes me laugh with its tagline "better than you think". Seems a little half-hearted if they're trying to sell them.

That's true tbf.

Speaking of bad reviews, my Brother told me that The Flash got a negative review off a critic because of Ezra Miller's behaviour irl.

Now I don't like the sound of what I've heard about Ezra Miller, but a Movie critic is there to judge the quality of the Film, and judge it on it's own terms, they're not suppose to judge it negatively because the main Actor is unlikable irl, that to me is unprofessional and should see the Critic at least face a suspension for such a bad review.

[Zizu]

The last poor review that I’ve heard recently was for Sky Glass from a Sky employee


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Zizu

The last poor review that I’ve heard recently was for Sky Glass from a Sky employee


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

What did they say out of interest?

Yesterday I saw a laughable review from EuroGamer for Final Fantasy XVI, where they attacked the Game not for it's quality, but because it doesn't have "enough diversity" despite the fact that the Game's world is based on Medieval Europe which the last time I took a history lesson back at School, Medieval Europe wasn't the most culturally diverse continent in the world.

And regardless, these weirdos on both the left and right need to leave Video Games alone if they can't judge them on the grounds that they're supposed to be judged on.

1. Gameplay
2. Story
3. Characters
4. Music
5. Graphics

Politics isn't a criteria for what makes a good Video Game, and as soon as these weirdos that do these trollish reviews realise that the better for everyone, we as consumers get more legit reviews for Games (positive reviews or negative) and these weirdos get to go into their dream job to try and make a difference in the world, i.e in Politics as it's clearly their passion.

Now look I'm sure that Final Fantasy XVI like any other Game will have it's flaws, but EuroGamer has to actually state them, because not forcing black characters into the Game (which was their real gripe with the Game) isn't a flaw or strength for the Game, I honestly don't understand the weird fascination about black characters being in fiction or not being in fiction that the far left and far right are having at the moment, they're just people like the rest of us.

Oh and Digital Foundry can **** off with their Xenophobia towards Britain in particular, I support their right to express their prejudice, but I also support my right to call them inbred, sheep loving, racists, borderline mentally challenged assholes.

Oh and going back to EuroGamer, they attack Final Fantasy XVI for having a white cast, but some people on Twitter found out information about who works at EuroGamer, and 99.99% of their workers are white, the hypocrisy is real with EuroGamer.

[Nicky91]

i only care about reviews when i buy things i want to buy those more with loads of good reviews


when it comes to films, series i don't care about reviews then, some bad score films i personally have enjoyed watching, most of The Asylum's sciencefiction parody films get bad scores/reviews but are sooooo fun to watch and some with quite a few A-Lister stars in them too, also Sharknado franchise is soooo hilarious + great star studded cameo appearances



2, 3, 5, 6 headed shark attack films are funny too, bull**** but tbh most fantasy films are bull anyway not to be meant taken too seriously

[user104658]

"Oh dear where do I start? It was poor to say the least, I doubt I will bother reading his previous offering."

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Soldier Boy

"Oh dear where do I start? It was poor to say the least, I doubt I will bother reading his previous offering."

That admittedly is a shocking review.

[Niamh.]

Just read a review of Cats :

If they showed this movie on an airplane people would still walk out

Savage