[Nicky.]

Aww Christina!

That picture is so sweet and funny x

[Christina]

Thanks so much Laura, i just wanted to get what happened yesterday off my chest, i can say it in real life so being able to say it on here has helped me x

[supernoodles!]

Originally posted by Christina
Thanks so much Laura, i just wanted to get what happened yesterday off my chest, i can say it in real life so being able to say it on here has helped me x

good,i am glad to hear that

[Christina]

I just feel kinda down, and im having to sleep in with my mum because my nans room was next to mine x

[Nurse57]

Sorry to hear about your sad news. Think of the good time. Your Nan may be gone, but your memories remain.

The pain never goes, but it does get easier to cope with in time.

My thoughts go to you and your family.

All the best,

Andrew.

[Christina]

Thanks Andrew, yeah its gonna be hard at first i just hope it gets better, im back at school next week so hopefully it should get my mind of it.
Im getting about a million texts now lol, i think my friend has let everyone know x

[Xander]

93 was a good old age for someone, and that waiting for you to see her thing isn't silly at all, I understand and its happened to me before. At least the death was peaceful, and she wasn't in any uncomfortable pain.

[supernoodles!]

Originally posted by Christina
I just feel kinda down, and Im having to sleep in with my mum because my nans room was next to mine x

im sure in time that you`ll feel better,it just takes time.It must be so difficult for you right now but you never know,the funeral might help and be able to give you some closure.Like Nicky said,your grans in a better place now ,probably with all her old mates lol

[GhettoSuperstar]

We're all here for you Christina x

[AngRemembered]

Good to see you back Christina, I hope everyones coping with there sad loss within your familly, I wish I could offer more practical help, other than a few words on a forum, but I'm pleased that everyones posts have helped you start getting back to normal.

Your nan came across as a real lovely lady you only need look at the ammount of tributes here to see how respected your accounts of her meant to people.
She meant a lot to me, as I know she meant the world to you Christina, and I know she's at peace now, and its lovely to see you back.

Angela x

[Hugo]

Aw. It's obvious you and your family loved her very much and she loved you back just as much. She seems like she has had a fantastic life and you have been such a good carer for her. She's gone to a better place now where can rest and wait for you untill you can meet again.
P.S. That pic is so sweet lol

[Bells]

I'm sorry to hear what you've been through Christina RIP to your nan - my thoughts are with you and your family at this time.
I hope you can be strong for them. xxx

[Christina]

Thanks Ang, ahh im crying again lol. I made a little joke of it today saying that nan brought the sun out in Brixton [it like the 1st sunny day of the week lol]. Its just going to be so different without her. There will be nobody to sit with anymore and nobody to come home to. I suppose im just scared that its going to be lonley down here. But i have to get on with it now. Thanks for everything everyone xx

[Christina]

Thanks tooperfect and Ash, im sure we'll meet again lol x

[Tom]

Originally posted by Christina
Id like to say a massive thankyou to everyone who has thought about me and my nan. Your posts have brought tears to my eyes. It was an extremley hard time for me yesterday, i felt as though my nan waited for me as silly as some of you might think it sounds. I didnt get up until 3pm [i wish i had of got up earlier but these things cant be helped] and she waited until i had got ready. The doctor and district nurse had come in that morning and had told us that she needed to be put on a drip, she was also having to be taken to a hospice but we were ready to fight for her. She told us that she wanted to die at home. She got her wish. She passed away at 3.40 pm, and i held her hand moments later she fell asleep and she was gone. She was surrounded by her family which i feel she would of wanted. Unfourtunatly she didnt make it in time for her daughter but her daughter did see her. The undertakers took her to the chapel of rest at 8.30pm and i sat with her until they did. It was honestly the worst day of myne and my familys life.

My nan played a massive role in my family. She cared for me all my life which makes it harder as i have never spent a night away from her [excluding the sleepovers and mini holidays]. Her bed and room is now empty but i can feel that she is with us. We are not sure when her funeral is but she is to be cremated. We are going to be putting our old pet cat Mitzy's ashes in her coffin as one of my nans old phrases were 'Mitzy you'll be quick enough to jump in my coffin'.

I knew that my nan didnt have long left. These past 6 weeks have been heartbreaking to say the least, i have seen how weak she had become, she had got to the point were she could no longer talk, eat, drink or even walk. My nan was a fighter and i loved her very much. I have asked if i can write a special poem for her and my auntie and dad have said that i can do whatever i want. As distressing as this may sound, i had always feared waking up and finding my nan dead. I had always been afraid. But when i sat there with her it looked as though she was asleep. She was very cold but looked very peaceful and comfy. I just thank God that she has lived 93 years of her life. And i could feel her pulse slowing fade away as i held my grandmothers hand.

And finally before i go i would like to say a massive thankyou to Conor who wrote this in memory of my nan. Im sure she enjoyed her late night phone call with you. I thankyveryone of you at Tibb. Thankyou all so much for your kind wordou for everytime i come to you, Josh, Alex and Loukas [and everyone else]. Im sure wherever my nan may be she is looking down on all of you and raising a glass of whisky to each and es. And R.I.P to my wonderful strong loving nan. I love you and i always will.

Thanks again xx

That actually made me cry a tiny bit and that normally takes some doing (!), it sounds like it means a lot but there is a striking resemblance there to what my nana was like and what happened on the day she died, I can empathise with you 110%. I hope you all get through it with the knowledge that shes no longer in pain and it sounds like she was. Sometimes its for the best when someone dies and I know you will understand what I mean by this (but I'm not sure many others will so its not meant in a bad way) but in this situation it is a good thing and shes finally at rest.

[Christina]

Thankyou Tom and i completlety understand what you mean Tom. She was tired, weak and i can assure you she would of hated being in a hospice as would we. Soz for making you cry lool x

[Tom]

Originally posted by Christina
Thankyou Tom and i completlety understand what you mean Tom. She was tired, weak and i can assure you she would of hated being in a hospice as would we. Soz for making you cry lool x

lol its ok, it just reminded me of stuff thats all, but yeah its not nice seeing people like that.

[Kate..]

Originally posted by Christina
Thanks for your lovley words Kate. Im sorry for your loss too. The thing is i knew it was coming, i woke up and felt dreadful it was as if i knew. I cried in the shower and when i come downstairs mum said i should hold nans hand. At first i couldnt but i did. I dont whether i should be happy that she died holding my hand or not. But mum said its what she would of wanted. I will try and stay strong for her, although i havent eaten yet lool. Thanks to everyone again xx

I can't say I know how you felt when you knew it was coming, my dads death was so sudden and no one could have possibly guessed in a million years that it was going to happen... but when i was five one of his arteries burst and he was amazingly lucky to survive, and the doctors said it could happen again any day, and that if it did, he would die suddenly and without pain. So for that I'm thankfull (that he didn't feel any pain) but it was a really hard time as it happened at an airport and me and he just went to the toilet and didn't come back... The next year will be unbeleiveably tough for you Christina and I'm so sorry this has happened to you, and even though it does get easier, the pain never ever goes away and i really wish it did.

I understand that you don't know whether to be happy or sad that you were holding your grandma's hand, but I really wish I had been holding my dads, then at least he would have died thinking of me, knowing how much I amazingly loved him and how I always will. I wish my mum could have said bye to him too, I know this is probably harder for her than it is for me..

It sounds cheesy I know, but you do think about them so many times each day, and without a doubt you always start talking to them, wishing they were there, because everything would be so different if they were.

Love you loads Christina, just remember, life is worth living!xxx

[Christina]

Im so soz Kate i hope your okay too x

[serensilver]

Christina always remember you can see her whenever you want all you have to do is close your eyes i no its hard now, but in time you'll see something that will remind you of your nan and you will have a little chuckle to yourself about it.
I bet she is having a good old natter up there as i write this!!

Stay strong and if you ever need to chat or anything there is ALWAYS someone on Tibb to talk to!!

P.S that pic of your nan is classic it's amazing how much her character comes out of one photo!

Take care hun!! xxxxx

[Christina]

Aww thanks Serensilver x