[WOMBAI]

Originally Posted by Zippy

Actually, I think a lack of father figures is a huge part of the gang problems. Not only do they lack the strong disciplinary presence that a father brings but they also lack a potentially good role model. Of course, some fathers are bad role models. So are some Mothers. Especially weak Mothers.

Those first 7-8 years of a childs life are crucial. If you don't instill the basics(respect, manners, civility etc) into a child in those years then you will have a hell of a job trying to do it later on.

Many join gangs precisely because they come from broken homes and desperately need to belong. Gangs become their adopted family; they will literally die, kill or serve prison time for their new blood. So lack of Fathers is a very valid issue here.

What looks like a very male related issue(ie; gang violence) can be very much traced back to the choices females make. Like who fathers their children. So many females do not put enough thought into this and just go with their own selfish needs; I know of many females who are attracted to bad boy types and will deliberately get pregnant as a way of trapping them. Thinking it will tame them! Next thing we have another fatherless child. Then there's the needy women with low self esteem. They have children to fill their own emotional needs; don't care much about who the father is or whether he'll be there for the childs life.

It seems to be acceptable these days for women to have children without a father. Even using sperm banks. This is disastrous for society and we are certainly seeing the affects. Im not knocking mothers who become single through valid reasons. But many have just made very selfish choices.

That sounds very much like a 'blame the mother' way of thinking! I hear no mention of the father's responsibility! It does take two!

There are plenty of good strong mothers who are quite capable of disciplining their children, and meeting their emotional needs - including boys! Many children are fatherless because of irresponisble fathers who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions.

Many fathers are just too weak to cope with fatherhood - because they are too selfish and have never grown up properly! The women are nearly always the ones that face their responsibility - and rarely abandon their children the way many men do!

Of course, ideally, children should have two loving, responsible parents - but we don't, never have and never will live in an ideal world! In the past, men were rarely there for their children - their role was to bring in the money - the rest was mainly left to the mothers. Although things have improved in that respect, still all too many men run away from their responsibilities.

There are faults on both sides - but educating women and men into taking equal responsibility for the consequences of their actions - instead of blaming women for making poor choices - seems likely to be much more productive!

And men can only be trapped if they allow themselves to be! Any man/boy that has any sense and has sex (outside of a strong, loving relationship) should understand the need to use protection. Despite what the woman may say about the pill etc - he should take action to protect himself! Just common sense! Short of being raped - he has no right to whinge about being trapped.