[Tom4784]

Ah Stu's next I think.

[Jayson]

Jayson likes this.

[Shaun]

Ministerie Van Onderwijs, Cultuur, en Wetenschappen PRESENTS Hollands Hope.

Hollands Hope are :

Pimp Daddy Paulus - Hollands finest pimper of bangin' bitches, the Daddy represents The Netherlands fine sex industry and raps with gusto about his many seedy exploits.

Stoned Eddy - Stoned Eddy operates Wut - Amsterdam's biggest and busiest coffee shop. A master at both the gardening and the Theramin, Bongos and Didgeridoo, Eddy brings a hazy sense of contemplation to the collective.

Doctor Van Dyke - Ever since he saw his Grandma Dyke's will at the tender age of five, Doctor Van Dyke knew he was born to euthanize an entire generation of Dutch senior citizens. His plug pulling skills are matched only by his furious sampling and keyboard bashing. The Doc represents the Dutch's ardent policy on allowing us to kill those old fucks.

Habo The Non Believer - A heretical teen nightmare borne from The Netherlands extremely secular, godless country - Habo's guitar riffs are straight from hell. Much like his sense of style.

DJ Dick Ryder - A prodigal son of the European dance scene, Dick's a master on the turntables and a prominent ass fucker of classic songs in the studio. He can turn just about anything into a Cascada-esque teen trance nightmare. Are you readdddy?

Cpt. Beatrix Delight - Not to be put off by being named aftr a chocolate bar, Beatrix Delight earned her captain status when she was 19 and set up a seabound fuck vessel. The worlds largest offshore brothel is coming to a port near you. She sings or something.




[A strange esoteric sort of tribal electro beat envelops the arena. Beatrix Delight lowers on a ship. It's a tit ship. A ship made of tits. She lands on stage and starts singing with a strange forced American accent filtered through a Dutch voicebox]

Where can you go
When there's nowhere else to go
When all you want to do
Is something fucked up?

The itches you couldn't scratch
Have all packed their bags
And they are all going economy class
To the Netherlands

If the drugs don't kill us
The Doctor will
But don't you worry, sit back and chill
Because it's legal where we live

Yes and if all of that won't kill us
The rising water levels will
But don't you worry, sit back and chill
Because it's legal where we live

[Cannons shoot off from the suspended ship and two dozen scantily clad hookers appear from either side of the stage. Pimp Daddy Paulus takes to the mic and bellows forth what I'm told is a rap]

Love fucked
Fascination
Filthy carnal situation
Religious, prodigious
Sacramental
Make a pilgriamage to the flesh temple

[Beatrix joins him and they gyrate around the stage together]

So when I'm fed up
I think dirty thoughts so I can get up
Rub a dub dub under the covers
Out comes the white stuff

[White stuff indeed comes out of the stage and on to the crowd. Everyone but the Germans seem angry. The lights go down. Harsh feedback sounds and the screams of high frequency synthesizer oscillators ring out as Doctor Van Dyke limbers up to the mic]

My mind is wracked with guilt
But I know I've time to kill
I'll crawl around and spit and sin
And be anyone or anything to escape within

[Just when the last vestige of hope appears to have left the stage, all the band join in as the ship lowers and confetti and joints fall from the rafters.]

If the drugs don't kill us
The Doctor will
But don't you worry, sit back and chill
Because it's legal where we live

Yes and if all of that won't kill us
The rising water levels will
But don't you worry, sit back and chill
Because it's legal where we live

[Stage lights and music fade out, to repeat samples of Pimp Daddy Paulus proclaiming 'two thousand and ten, Amsterdam back again baby. Smoke-a-dope-dope and kill your granny. We got dykes. Peace out.'']

[Joe.]

Wow- Love it specially the poster-WOOOO!
Holland (Or UK) FTW!

[Jayson]

That was almost as awesome as a cool wind on a hot summers day. One of my favourites.

[Braden]

Love how the singers are like characters

[Iceman]

LOL that was funny as hell

[Beastie]

Funny song Stu and love the poster!!

[Joe.]

[Tom4784]

Amazing.

[Iceman]

Originally Posted by Joe.

would you stop already....every post has your flag or UK FTW.....we get it you are using the UK.......

[Shaun]

As a mild enthusiast of the odd spicy spliff, I can assure you, that was delightful. TERRY WOGAN IN DA HOUSE. Let's cross the channel now, and see what treasures they have to offer.

The Naughty French Maids - Teach You

[Jayson]

Joe ffs people wont vote for you just because you begged them to...

[Beastie]

Mine next!

[Joe.]

Terry Wogan! :-)

[Z]

bate/

[Beastie]

Prepare yourselves.

[Smithy]

Francais!

[Shaun]

The Naughty French Maids:

^^^^^^^^^^
They will be dressed up like this during the first half of performing their song.. LIVE ON EUROVISION!

In the second half of the song they will strip themselves out of the gimp costumes into this..



Dix....... Neuf.......Huit.......Sept.......Six.......Cinq... ....Quatre.......Trois....... Deux.......Un.......
*5 second Instrumental Break*
We want to teach you a little thing or two! *All the girls wink wink*

We want to brush you up with our feather dusters,
Brush, Brush, Brush! *All the girls waft their feather dusters*
We hope you are shaven down there,
NO Bush, Bush, Bush!
We want you to shake your tail feathers,
Shake, Shake, Shake!
And then come all over on us and we,
Take, Take, Take!
Like a piece of cake.... oh yeaaaaaaah! *All the girls wink wink*
*Then Chorus*

Chorus
We want to get down and dirty on you,
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
Start with the French Kissing then the heavy petting...
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
Then with the licky licky and the sucky sucky,
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
We will go all the way on this escapade,
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
And give you a double round of walnut whipping,
Spank, Spank, Spank
This will teach you, this will teach you, this will teach you,
Hell Yeah!
End Chorus

*20 second Instrumental Break - the girls undressing their outfits*

Can you feel it? *One of the girls has close up into the camera*

*20 second Instrumental Break - the girls undressing their outfits*

Brush me up baby on my muff, let’s get,
Rough, Rough, Rough!
It’s our night tonight baby so get me up the,
Duff, Duff, Duff!
Nothing is over until I have had enough and that is,
Tough, Tough, Tough!

We teach you the rules,
You play the game,
Or we will go round and say your dick is lame!
Ooo la la, Ooo la la,
You wouldn’t want that to happen now would ya? *One of the girls has close up into the camera*
Then Chorus x2 followed by...

This will teach you, this will teach you, this will teach you,
Hell Yeah! x5

[Vicky.]

@ stus

[Iceman]

Originally Posted by Smithy

Francais!

*storms stage with "We hated hand of frog" sign*

[Braden]

Omg I feel it beast

[Lucy.]

Loving the french maids Mint song

[Jayson]

That was... errrmm... filthy, to say the least. lmao.

[Harry!]

Oh my god lol.