[Verbal]

She is an idiot and a raging alcoholic. No normal person hides alcohol so they can get it later. Look at any questionnaire entitled 'am I an alcoholic' and 'do you hide alcohol' will always be a question.

Answer these as if you are Carol

1. Do you have a lot of friends whose last names and professions you don’t know?

1a. Do they have nicknames like PB Arnie, Mattallica and “the coke guy”?

2. Do you drink with people you would be embarrassed to walk down the street with or introduce to your real friends?

3. Have you ever drank other people’s half-empty beers because the party ran out of booze?

3a. If so, did you ever get a mouthful of cigarette butts?

4. Are you so worried about getting enough alcohol at parties that you hide alcohol in the back of the fridge, the couch cushions, or under your skirt?

5. Do you have trouble concentrating on the conversation at a table where alcohol is being shared because you are mentally dividing up the portions to make sure you will have enough?

6. Do you consistently bring alcohol into situations where there wouldn’t otherwise be any, like a movie theater or your office?

7. Have you attended an after-hours club or found yourself wishing the party could continue past 5 a.m.?

8. Have you lost your cell phone/wallet/keys more than once in the past year?

9. Do you consistently keep drinking until you pass out, throw up, or black out?

10. Would you trade a year of your life for a consequence-free year of partying?

11. Do you repeatedly drink a specific kind of alcohol or use a substance like marijuana even though you know you don’t like the effects?

12. Have you ever cried because you couldn’t have an alcoholic beverage?

13. Do you own a T-shirt that says something like “I have a drinking problem…two hands and only one mouth” or “One tequila two tequila three tequila floor”? (This one doesn’t make you an alcoholic; I just want to know who you people are.)

14. Do you use the phrase “road beer”?

15. Does your local bartender have your phone number?

16. Do you drink when you are sick, because vodka totally “kills the germs”?

17. Do you ever pretend to go home but go to another bar instead, where you can focus on drinking without all those pesky friends around?

18. Do you harass people who aren’t drinking, or who go home before 2 am, by saying things like “What? Does your vagina hurt?”

19. Is being a big drinker part of your identity, such that everybody around you know you love to P-A-R-T-Y?

20. Have you ever wet the bed after a night of drinking?