[Conzors]

Hi!

I'm sitting at home alone on a Saturday night moping in my own misery because out of the very few friends I have - nobody wants to go out.

They are either parents, sick, have other plans, have partners, or just not replying to my texts. Part of it is my fault - I have been **** at keeping in contact or I think I become too good for them and I didnt focus on making friends as a child because I was too self absorbed.

I'm different now but i'm scared its too late for me to make friends. I'm too annoying, I'm too needy, I'm too emotional and I want attention (doesnt everyone?) and that is too much for a friend or a potential boyf to handle.

Anyways - My question to you is - what makes you annoying? offputting? and what have you done to try and change it?

Looking forward to seeing some amazing answers!!

xx

P.S I may have had a drink or six so sorry for the randomness.

[Amy Jade]

I'm perect nobody could possibly find me annoying

[Conzors]

Originally Posted by Amy Jade

I'm perect nobody could possibly find me annoying

Thats what i think about myself! But to my shock I've been told i am annoying! haha

[joeysteele]

Main things with me are (1) if I get a issue that is ongoing but divisive,I cannot let it go if I believe I am right.

(2)Also as to humour,I have little humour and rarely get others humour even when it is not meant nastily.

(3)I also still go on and on,as to making a point too much.

I am getting better but its a very slow process.

[MB.]

Ask the people whose ignore list I'm on and you'd probably get a better answer

[Daniel-X]

I talk over people and sometimes don't listen.

[Mokka]

Originally Posted by MB.

Ask the people whose ignore list I'm on and you'd probably get a better answer

x2

But MB.... You are perfect

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by Conzors

Hi!

I'm sitting at home alone on a Saturday night moping in my own misery because out of the very few friends I have - nobody wants to go out.

They are either parents, sick, have other plans, have partners, or just not replying to my texts. Part of it is my fault - I have been **** at keeping in contact or I think I become too good for them and I didnt focus on making friends as a child because I was too self absorbed.

I'm different now but i'm scared its too late for me to make friends. I'm too annoying, I'm too needy, I'm too emotional and I want attention (doesnt everyone?) and that is too much for a friend or a potential boyf to handle.

Anyways - My question to you is - what makes you annoying? offputting? and what have you done to try and change it?

Looking forward to seeing some amazing answers!!

xx

P.S I may have had a drink or six so sorry for the randomness.

Nah....it's all part of growing up unfortunately. You won't necessarily follow the same path as your friends....those with kids or different priorities start to move in different circles but you either find different going out mates or catch up with them eventually. Maintain contact with your real friends....even if they can't go out with you now because of commitments....things will change

[Conzors]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Nah....it's all part of growing up unfortunately. You won't necessarily follow the same path as your friends....those with kids or different priorities start to move in different circles but you either find different going out mates or catch up with them eventually. Maintain contact with your real friends....even if they can't go out with you now because of commitments....things will change

Thanks - I do appreciate the kind words. Hopefully your right.

Im currently pissed talking to my ex and his new lad on snapchat. This is where my life is at.

How have you been?

[Glenn.]

Three way on the cards? Looks like your night might improve

[TT350]

I'm actually in exactly the same boat.

My friends are always 'busy' or have young children. I have zero social life. I'm in my mid 30's where, everyone is settled, has a career 9-5 and come home and see to the kids. So it makes it hard for me to make friends as peoe by my age have a set life and complete set of mates and aren't recruiting new members for friendship.

I've been really lonely since my best mate became a Mormon and moved to Canada and married.

Before that though I too was always the one running behind playing catch up going "hey! Wait for me! Can I come, too?!" and always the one who didn't get invited and people would be like "oh, err, yeah was last minute so, ya know - didn't have time to let you know"

I'm not sure why. I've adjusted my personality so many times to make myself more likeable or just have that 'thing' that makes people like you. Tried being full on. Tried being cool. Everything.

I think one thing is, I don't really do small talk. And I think with British men, that's a no no. You don't talk about meaningful things. You talk about football (which I hate) and 'birds' and beer. Never ever lower the tone with feelings or thoughts on life.

I actually get on a lot better with women. Because they CAN have an impromptu in depth conversation about life.

I don't really believe in auras but there's definitely a vibe that people carry with them.

My friend, Dave, is this guy who just sails through life. Nothing ever goes wrong for him. No one dislikes him. Everyone turns to him for help.

And he never once arranges anything. He doesn't have to. He's inundated with offers and requests of his presence.

He does have an 'aura'.

Him and all his friends were away this weekend in Anglesey.

Chin up mate. You're not alone.

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by TT350

I've been really lonely since my best mate became a Mormon and moved to Canada and married.

@Mokka

[Mokka]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

@Mokka

Posts like this...and his pension to spoil every tv show and movie out there is what makes Marsh annoying

But I love ha anyway

[Rob!]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

@Mokka

[Shaun]

Get quite nitpicky / demanding when it comes to keeping the house clean (as Jake/Ninastar can attest)
If I'm so far drunk that I can't remember the morning after, then I'm more often going to be annoying everyone with music / karaoke / "I love you"s.

Otherwise I am lovely x

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by TT350

I'm actually in exactly the same boat.

My friends are always 'busy' or have young children. I have zero social life. I'm in my mid 30's where, everyone is settled, has a career 9-5 and come home and see to the kids. So it makes it hard for me to make friends as peoe by my age have a set life and complete set of mates and aren't recruiting new members for friendship.

I've been really lonely since my best mate became a Mormon and moved to Canada and married.

Before that though I too was always the one running behind playing catch up going "hey! Wait for me! Can I come, too?!" and always the one who didn't get invited and people would be like "oh, err, yeah was last minute so, ya know - didn't have time to let you know"

I'm not sure why. I've adjusted my personality so many times to make myself more likeable or just have that 'thing' that makes people like you. Tried being full on. Tried being cool. Everything.

I think one thing is, I don't really do small talk. And I think with British men, that's a no no. You don't talk about meaningful things. You talk about football (which I hate) and 'birds' and beer. Never ever lower the tone with feelings or thoughts on life.

I actually get on a lot better with women. Because they CAN have an impromptu in depth conversation about life.

I don't really believe in auras but there's definitely a vibe that people carry with them.

My friend, Dave, is this guy who just sails through life. Nothing ever goes wrong for him. No one dislikes him. Everyone turns to him for help.

And he never once arranges anything. He doesn't have to. He's inundated with offers and requests of his presence.

He does have an 'aura'.

Him and all his friends were away this weekend in Anglesey.

Chin up mate. You're not alone.

...hmmm, I don't know..I think that maybe the aura that Dave has is that he's confident in who he is and being who he is/in being himself...I don't think it works, trying to be something or someone that we aren't because it's never going to make us happy to try or feel as though we're being true to ourselves...and that maybe makes it harder to 'fit' anyway, harder for people to get to know us etc and talk on deeper levels because it would give off a confusion of our personality or mask it...which wouldn't be condusive to deeper friendships...don't adjust who you are because you don't need to..you're perfectly fine just as you are...but not everyone 'fits' with us and our personalities... there will though be people/friends who do for all of us and those people are different for all of us...and those people are the ones who will just fit perfectly without any changes feeling necessary...indeed, they wouldn't want us to change at all....not one bit....

[Rob!]

I'm really sarcastic and cynical?

[Babayaro.]

Yup, i'm too sarcastic at times. Only my close friends understand my humour so I guess that doesn't really matter

[Raph]

Nothing I'm kinda perfect

[TT350]

Originally Posted by Ammi

...hmmm, I don't know..I think that maybe the aura that Dave has is that he's confident in who he is and being who he is/in being himself...I don't think it works, trying to be something or someone that we aren't because it's never going to make us happy to try or feel as though we're being true to ourselves...and that maybe makes it harder to 'fit' anyway, harder for people to get to know us etc and talk on deeper levels because it would give off a confusion of our personality or mask it...which wouldn't be condusive to deeper friendships...don't adjust who you are because you don't need to..you're perfectly fine just as you are...but not everyone 'fits' with us and our personalities... there will though be people/friends who do for all of us and those people are different for all of us...and those people are the ones who will just fit perfectly without any changes feeling necessary...indeed, they wouldn't want us to change at all....not one bit....

I am a confident person and I have no qualms about who I am. I just try and be more amicable and interchangeable from one group to another.

I think it's just the situation I've landed in. Flitting from job to job (previously), being a dark moody Slipknot fan in my late teens early 20's and sitting in my bedroom playing games while others were out in pubs bars and clubs.

Now they're all married with kids.

Like I say, my best friend had kind of a meltdown and wanted to hand the reigns over to the Army but instead handed them over to Joseph Smith and the bishop of his temple. He was a good guy now he's a shadow of who he was.

It's odd. I've got plenty of money and boys toys that we all would have killed for a few years ago. Now the topic of conversation is which huggies are best and how fast their kids are growing and not motorbikes or fast cars or huge tv's and surround sound systems can penetrate the conversation about puke, poo, screaming and how cute they are lol.

[hot2go]

Being a fan of Andy apparently

[Mokka]

I'm stubborn.... Like dig my heels in, never relenting stubborn if I have to be... And maybe this causes me to be annoying in other ways...but I would say if I had to think hard about it, that would be the clincher for me.

I think though, that in real life, most of my acquaintances don't really get annoyed with me...but I find myself being very picky about who I actually devote my time to. When I am your friend, I am your fierce friend forever...but, for example, I have one lady who has been trying to create a friendship with me for almost 3 years now... But I just don't feel the same way about the relationship, so if she calls on me or needs something, I am there in a heart beat...but if she wants to sit around and talk and drink wine...I usually make up an excuse to be busy...
Now that I type it out, I feel like a bad person

[jennyjuniper]

Originally Posted by Conzors

Hi!

I'm sitting at home alone on a Saturday night moping in my own misery because out of the very few friends I have - nobody wants to go out.

They are either parents, sick, have other plans, have partners, or just not replying to my texts. Part of it is my fault - I have been **** at keeping in contact or I think I become too good for them and I didnt focus on making friends as a child because I was too self absorbed.

I'm different now but i'm scared its too late for me to make friends. I'm too annoying, I'm too needy, I'm too emotional and I want attention (doesnt everyone?) and that is too much for a friend or a potential boyf to handle.

Anyways - My question to you is - what makes you annoying? offputting? and what have you done to try and change it?

Looking forward to seeing some amazing answers!!

xx

P.S I may have had a drink or six so sorry for the randomness.

Have you asked the people who say you are annoying, why you are annoying? Once you know that you can do something about it.

[TT350]

Oh, and I AM annoying lol.

Like Mokka I'm wildly stubborn if I'm convinced I'm right but on the flip side once I know I'm wrong I'm quick to admit and say sorry.

What else.... Erm.... I can be prone to road grumpiness. I won't say road rage because that's scary. I'm quite big and I wouldn't like to feel that I intimidated people with my rage so I keep that behaviour well out of it.

I'm pretty quick with the middle finger if someone cuts me up lol.

My brother once or more said I have an annoying face you just want to punch. Then again I was 9 and he was an angry hormonal 15 year old and 5 times my size. He doesn't sat that stuff any more.

To the OP. Don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone has one or more people they click with instantly. Sometimes, because of life and the fact that we all communicate now more than at any time in human existence yet were STILL more lonely and isolated regardless of the fact.

Social media and easy access to information about other people's lives leaves us feeling like we're falling short of the mark of this amazing party life we should all be leading with 100s of friends from all walks of life. Open your Facebook. I guarantee you'll have that girl in your friends list who's every photo is of them on a night out. She'll have 2000 'friends' in her friends list and probay collects 100 more every Friday night.

Or you may have that guy who's constantly backpacking round the world and posts amazing pictures of him at the great Wall of China etc.

My point is, media can leave you so unhappy with yourself and feeling so lonely and inadequate. It can be toxic.

Deleting Facebook was the best thing I ever did regarding that.

I'm 34. I can remember a time before mobile phones. Before Internet. Was so much more peaceful. It's a great tool in life, the Internet. But to me I feel that it cheapens information because it's so readily available.

Anyway. I'm waffling now.

Point is:

Don't be hard on yourself

And

Grass always looks greener on the other side.

[kirklancaster]

NOTHING.

Only the imperfect are annoyed by perfection.