[user104658]

Originally Posted by Cherie

what if the one liner covers everything the person wants to say though

That never happens.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

That never happens.

I can be very succinct! I guess how people post may reflect real life personalties as well, like some people can get to the nub of the issue quickly, while others need to go all round the houses and fill in background

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Cherie

I can be very succinct! I guess how people post may reflect real life personalties as well, like some people can get to the nub of the issue quickly, while others need to go all round the houses and fill in background

No.

[jet]

Vicky, I hope you don't mind me posting your closing post in the thread you made to try to sort things out but I haven't been well today and slept a lot and have just resurfaced feeling somewhat better

I am closing my own thread as its now quite clear that no matter what we do, we will be in the wrong. I did think that maybe we could sort something out, but it is clear that this is not possible tbh. I don't know what I was thinking making this thread and being optimistic about it all. Also closing as I can see the direction this is now going to go, in exactly the same direction as most other threads.

Moderating is always going to be subjective. And context is important also so no 'set rules' would really work.

So I guess, I will be doing the same as usual, but I may also be reminding people that they need to be ontopic, and also intervening/deleting when appropriate. This will be my last attempt to sort out this section, and tbh, I am sure it won't work either but it has to be tried. If people do feel victimized, so be it. Its the nature of the job really isn't it..

So yeah, closed as its already going the same way as usual, tbh.

People may PM me if they disagree with this being closed, but I am sure most can see exactly why it was.

I really appreciate your effort and how you opened a thread with helpful suggestions and given everyone a voice and I'm sure most here feel the same.
I guess moderating any forum with people from all walks of life and opinions is a thankless and frustrating job most of the time. You couldn't pay me a handsome salary to do it!
So I'm thinking how do you moderate all sorts of people with all different opinions and experiences and emotions and backgrounds, and the answer is 'with great difficulty' so don't think your efforts have been in vain at all - it was inevitable that there is going to be all those voices wanting to be heard according to their their own views and perspectives.

And I too have my own view, of course, don't we all! and I don't really think the SD forum is that bad, really. I have little to complain about, apart from my and others opinions of the unfairness in the Ree Moggs thread which I think is a good example of something to look at and learn from, given the hassle it has caused.....

And another thing for me is people saying things like they do to Brillo (I hope you don't mind me referencing you here Brillo) like 'you are racist!' instead of 'your opinion sounds racist' as just an example. The first is stating a fixed opinion in the accusers mind, while the second is opening it up for further debate, explanation and clarification....and that goes for any terms people feel are derogatory - whether it be snowflake or sexist or fascist or whatever. It's little things like that that make a difference... Those things have caused so many problems here and are quite easy to fix if it is said 'it sounds like...can you explain further, rather than 'this is what you are'!

IMO only, apart from the above, and the big no - no of people getting awfully personal with each other, I'd let people go at it. Nobody can tame human beings with all their complexities or set ways and its futile to try. Like Ammi said, there can be young uns here with their own way of saying things or old hands with theirs. Let them hash it out among themselves unless it gets personal or someone is being uncomfortably targeted.

Only my probably simplistic take on it, but on the whole, I think the mods do a great job most of the time, suffering in silence! and it it is only when something in particular comes up that highlights a particular dissatisfaction, like that infamous Ree Moggs thread, do things need to be looked at and modified in light of that, just for future fairness and even -handedness.

So thanks in particular to Vicky, for making such a huge effort, and upwards and onward to SD and whatever it brings in the future - its never boring anyway, that's for sure!

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by jet

And another thing for me is people saying things like they do to Brillo (I hope you don't mind me referencing you here Brillo) like 'you are racist!' instead of 'your opinion sounds racist' as just an example. The first is stating a fixed opinion in the accusers mind, while the second is opening it up for further debate, explanation and clarification....and that goes for any terms people feel are derogatory - whether it be snowflake or sexist or fascist or whatever. It's little things like that that make a difference... Those things have caused so many problems here and are quite easy to fix if it is said 'it sounds like...can you explain further, rather than 'this is what you are'!

Yeah this part is really important. I have to note though that it does not only happen to brillo, it happens to a few members.

I do agree that instead of 'you are racist' it should be 'this post is racist and here is the reason why' or 'you are coming across quite racist, and here is why'. As yelling racist helps nothing at all, and definitely does not add to the debate. Of coutrse if you find a post racist, call it out and explain. But just a single you are racist/sexist/homophobic/etc is a bit pointless.

I think a lot of the problems here at the moment cannot really be fixed by mods at all. They need to be fixed by members. Like, think about what you are posting, will the person take offence at the wording? I know sometimes people MEAN to cause offence but thats not very productive really. At times the person will take offence whatever, but you can still post it, aslong as its actually productive, if that makes sense.

I honestly think part of the problem is the lack of members posting in here, so its the same members going at each other all of the time and frustrating each other, then going into the next thread and it starts all over and then members end up with grudges against others, which carries on and on. Not sure if that can be sorted though, as its quite normal for a small group who know each other and each others opinions pretty well.

Glad you are feeling better too. And it seems, you have had a sex change, congratulations I used to think you were male, then someone said you were female (I thought it was you that said this actually) but I still read your posts as..male, you type very male. And now I find out you are actually male again