[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Kazanne

I have an 11 year old nearly,and she is wonderful with her smaller brothers and although this should not have happened at such a young age I think it's unfair to judge them solely on their age,we all know its wrong,but its done,besides some 40 year olds cannot parent properly,there was something happened like this a few years ago,everyone said they would be awful parents,but they are still together and bringing their child up,it's not an ideal situation,but it can work.

having an 11 y/o that watches her sister sometimes is not the same as a 12 y/o being a parent.

The truth is, the grandparents are going to end up being the parents. and based on how they raised their own daughter, i don't think they'll be much better as grandparents than they were as parents for this new child.

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by lostalex

having an 11 y/o that watches her sister sometimes is not the same as a 12 y/o being a parent.

The truth is, the grandparents are going to end up being the parents. and based on how they raised their own daughter, i don't think they'll be much better as grandparents to this new child.

Well said.

God, I thought I was good with kids (I'm 20) and I had to deal with a crying baby yesterday for 2 hours or so and I thought I was losing my mind.

I can't even imagine what an 11 year old would do in that position. I don't think any 11 year old can deal with something so stressful. I think it's abuse for the poor baby having an 11 year old mother... It's just so wrong.

[Ammi]

..it doesn't really sit well that her mum said that they were in a long term relationship for a year..so at 11yrs old, a parent didn't discourage and allowed a 'long term' relationship with a 12 yr old and his parents did as well..?...I know that they will probably get much support and care from the authorities to raise the child but I do wonder if it is the best thing and whether it is also a good use of stretched resources when there are so many children in awful situations that need those resources...

[MTVN]

Probably doesn't bode well that the girls mother herself is only 27 so had her daughter when she was 15, they're getting younger all the time

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by MTVN

Probably doesn't bode well that the girls mother herself is only 27 so had her daughter when she was 15, they're getting younger all the time

exactly. at some point, someone needs to break the cycle. even if it is the government.

[Kizzy]

It's unfortunate but as said hopefully the family will rally round, it's not a damning indictment on society.

[Kazanne]

Well we all know it's not the done thing,but just taking her away from them imo is not the answer.

[joeysteele]

Originally Posted by Kazanne

Well we all know it's not the done thing,but just taking her away from them imo is not the answer.

I love all you have said on this threads as to this, so I won't add anything to it.

I agree with you, it is unfortunate it happened, the parents likely should have been more 'interested' in their children's relationship together.

However, they could prove to be good parents long term and although they need to have their education,it could well be that this child gets one of the soundest upbringings so no reason at all to take the child off them.

Obviously time will tell but as you pointed out you know someone who had a child at 15,people mature at different times.
These are likely to get a good lot of support from outside and inside their families,they seem to want to keep their relationship going and also be involved with the baby too.

Although it is sad this happened in the first place,I say good luck to them and this could even be a greater spur to them to both seek to do a lot more with their lives as to careers and education too,to not only for them but also helping in the building a strong future for this baby.

[Kazanne]

Originally Posted by joeysteele

I love all you have said on this threads as to this, so I won't add anything to it.

I agree with you, it is unfortunate it haapened, the parents likely should have been more 'interested' in their children's relationship together.

However, they could prove to be good parents long term and although they need to have their education,it could well be that this child gets one the soundest upbringings so no reason at all to take the child off them.

Obviously time will tell but as you pointed out you know someone who had a child at 15,people mature at different times.
These are likely to get a good lot of support from outside and in side their families,they seem to want to keep their relationship going and also be involved with the baby too.

Although it is sad this happened in the first place,I say good luck to them and this could even be a greater spur to them to both seek to do a lot more with their lives as to careers and education too,to not only for them but also helping in the building a strong future for this baby.

I agree Joey it shouldn't have happened but it did,and who knows they might make really good parents ,lets hope so.

[Kizzy]

They can't have realised how far the relationship had 'progressed'... I wouldn't have.
Why would they need more resources from authorities than the average family?

[Crimson Dynamo]

The baby should have been aborted - sad as it is

[Ammi]

..I think that if you don't 'realise' what your 11 yr old child is doing when it's something so important as having sex, then really there is a communication issue and a parenting issue and I would question what support and guidance the child and grandchild will get in reality...having said that, it is what it is and can't be undone so I hope the best is done for the mum/father and baby and they get the support they need...


EDIT:..oh and welfare will intervene, they will have to have a 'care plan' because the parents are both children and legally obliged to continue education...

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..I think that if you don't 'realise' what your 11 yr old child is doing when it's something so important as having sex, then really there is a communication issue and a parenting issue and I would question what support and guidance the child and grandchild will get in reality...having said that, it is what it is and can't be undone so I hope the best is done for the mum/father and baby and they get the support they need...


EDIT:..oh and welfare will intervene, they will have to have a 'care plan' because the parents are both children and legally obliged to continue education...

Who sits and watches their 11yr olds in case they have sex?.... nobody.
Oh... and I know they will but there's no reason why education can't continue.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Who sits and watches their 11yr olds in case they have sex?.... nobody.Oh... and I know they will but there's no reason why education can't continue.

..of course not but there is a huge difference between that and allowing a 'serious relationship' of your 11yr old child to continue...

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..of course not but there is a huge difference between that and allowing a 'serious relationship' of your 11yr old child to continue...

Have you read the article? They had no idea the relationship was physical.

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Who sits and watches their 11yr olds in case they have sex?.... nobody.
Oh... and I know they will but there's no reason why education can't continue.

my parents were very diligent about who i was with and where i was when i was 11. the fact that you don't think that is a normal quality of care for an 11 y/o disturbs me.

When i was 11 i couldn't even sneeze without my parents knowing about it.

[Firewire]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

The baby should have been aborted - sad as it is

I think they should have given it up for adoption

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by Firewire

I think they should have given it up for adoption

me too... thinking of all the families in the UK alone that would do anything to have a baby, yet these two are having kids at this age... She'll have another within a few years, I'd bet my car on it.

[Kazanne]

My best friend gave birth at just 15,she is a wonderful mom,she has a part time job and has settled with the father,its not so black and white as "oh,take it off her",who are we to judge who are good parents.

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Kazanne

My best friend gave birth at just 15,she is a wonderful mom,she has a part time job and has settled with the father,its not so black and white as "oh,take it off her",who are we to judge who are good parents.

Did your friend take on the entire burden of raising that child? including have her own place, paying her own bills, and care for the child full time? or did she put a lot of that burden on her parents?

[Tom4784]

They're barely even teenagers, they will simply not cope with the responsibility. It would be better for them and the baby if it was put up for adoption otherwise the baby will most likely be neglected by the parents and end up being pawned off on the grandparents to raise. Kids just don't have the capacity to make good parents.

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

They're barely even teenagers, they will simply not cope with the responsibility. It would be better for them and the baby if it was put up for adoption otherwise the baby will most likely be neglected by the parents and end up being pawned off on the grandparents to raise. Kids just don't have the capacity to make good parents.

i agree, and also it would be better for the parents (calling 12 and 13 y/o's parents just feels weird, but they are parents now) they can have a chance for a better life too. It seems like the best thing for everyone involved.

I have pity for all of the children involved with this story, all 3 of them.

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by lostalex

i agree, and also it would be better for the parents (calling 12 and 13 y/o's parents just feels weird, but they are parents now) they can have a chance for a better life too. It seems like the best thing for everyone involved.

I have pity for all of the children involved with this story, all 3 of them.

its a shame because they arent even mature enough to make a decision as big as getting rid of the baby/putting it up for adoption etc...

I honestly blame bad parenting (of the 12/13 year olds parents...) because if they had paid closer attention, they would have realised what was going on.

[Samm]

[Z]

Tbh I don't know why people are making the "the grandparents will end up raising it" thing an issue - I know loads of people who were raised by their grandparents for a variety of reasons and they've all turned out to be well adjusted adults. Obviously it's not great that two kids had a baby together but clearly if they were both sexually mature at the ages of 11/12/13 then they're, at least biologically speaking, ahead of most kids their age so it's perhaps not surprising that their relationship turned physical. Nobody could have stopped that from happening; did anybody here's parents know when you lost your virginity? I'd guess not...