[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Amy Jade

All I can say is I am glad you are not a judge if you refuse to look at the bigger picture.

Why do you bring cars and drunk drivers up? sorry that is a terrible comparrison

it's exactly the same thing. people believe what they want to believe to do what they want to do. and they are always looking for excuses. so it's a very fair analogy.

[Amy Jade]

Originally Posted by lostalex

no they don't, they almost always claim they thought they were perfectly safe to drive, and that they didn't realize what their blood alcohol level was. so they truly believed they had a legal blood alcohol content, that means it shouldn't be a crime?

The car didn't tell them they were below the safe limit though did it.

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Amy Jade

The car didn't tell them they were below the safe limit though did it.

and a young child telling you a lie doesn't mean that you have no responsibility. Young children lie all the time, especially teenagers, just like a drunk's mind lies to them about how drunk they really are.

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by lostalex

no they don't, they almost always claim they thought they were perfectly safe to drive, and that they didn't realize what their blood alcohol level was. so they truly believed they had a legal blood alcohol content, that means it shouldn't be a crime?

You know when you have had too many, despite what people say, you know as soon as you have more than one you are over the limit, so yes those that drink drive actively knew what they were doing.

[Amy Jade]

Originally Posted by lostalex

and a young child telling you a lie doesn't mean that you have no responsibility. Young children lie all the time, especially teenagers, just like a drunk's mind lies to them about how drunk they really are.

Still have no idea why you are using drunk driving as a comparisson at all.

[lostalex]

remember that story from a few years ago about the british child that ran away to france with her teacher? she swore up and down she was in love with him, and that it's not his fault, children do that, because children don't have the development to make rational decisions. to blame the girl tolying and claiming he did nothing wrong, means nothing.

the onus is on the ADULT man, not the child. it doesn't matter what she said, even if she took off al her clothes and stood on her head and begged him to **** her, it's still illegal. and all the responsibility is still on the adult man.

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by lostalex

remember that story from a few years ago about the british child that ran away to france with her teacher? she swore up and down she was in love with him, and that it's not his fault, children do that, because children don't have the development to make rational decisions. to blame the girl tolying and claiming he did nothing wrong, means nothing.

Again a weak comparison here. The teacher knew how old the child was.

[lostalex]

if you have a law that says it's illegal for an adult to have sex with a 14 y/o, that means it applies to everyone equally. it doesn't matter what the CHILD said or lied about. it's the ADULT's job to do the right thing.

How is it that 99.9% of us adults don't have any trouble NOT having sex with 14 y/o's? you people are making it sound like it's such an easy mistake to make.

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by lostalex

if you have a law that says it's illegal for an adult to have sex with a 14 y/o, that means it applies to everyone equally. it doesn't matter what the CHILD said or lied about. it's the ADULT's job to do the right thing.

How is it that 99.9% of us adults don't have any trouble NOT having sex with 14 y/o's? you people are making it sound like it's such an easy mistake to make.

How is the adult to know that it's just a kid if she has said she is 17? A lot of teenagers nowadays look a lot older than they are and it's probably not something that crossed his mind when talking to her that she was only 14. Do you question everyone's ages?

[Amy Jade]

Originally Posted by lostalex

remember that story from a few years ago about the british child that ran away to france with her teacher? she swore up and down she was in love with him, and that it's not his fault, children do that, because children don't have the development to make rational decisions. to blame the girl tolying and claiming he did nothing wrong, means nothing.

Again a very weak comparrison since he was a teacher who knew her age and still did what he did.

The guy in this case has stated he would have never slept with her had she told him her real age.

[Denver]

The girl should be locked up what a nasty cow

[Denver]

Originally Posted by lostalex

sorry, but 19 and 14 is a huge gap. it might not seem like a lot to most adults, 5 years between adults is not that much, but sorry, ****ing a 14 year old, not okay in my book.

i can't believe so many people in this forum are okay with 19 y/o men going after 14 y/o girls. men need to have the same policy as bartenders, if they are claiming to be anything under 30, and they look under 30, you check ID.

He was clearly online looking for young naive girls to ****. I don't feel the least bit sorry for him. Hopefully this will teach him and all other young guys that read the story to stop trying to **** young girls, and actually create real relationships with adult women their own age.

and for full disclosure I am in a relationship with a guy that is 5 years younger than me, but I am 33 and he is 28, and it's not the same thing at all. And i bet if this was a 19 y/o guy that ****ed a 14 year old boy a lot of you wouldn't have the same opinion.

Who the **** ID's someone there having a one night stand with? Also i think its invasion on privacy to ask for ID for something like that

[GypsyGoth]

He shouldn't have had sex with an underage girl, it's illegal and he deserves to be punished. She shouldn't have lied about her age and the judge should have been wiser and delivered a more just sentence.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

He shouldn't have had sex with an underage girl, it's illegal and he deserves to be punished. She shouldn't have lied about her age and the judge should have been wiser and delivered a more just sentence.

...this really, what he did does merit punishment but the 'punishment should fit the crime' and consider all factors in this case but the judge chose to 'make an example'...

'He met all the qualifications for HYTA [the program for first-time offenders] which would have saved him from having to register on Sex Offender List.'...but this wasn't something considered or disregarded..?...

...apparently the girl had epilepsy/was on medication and her mum was aware she had gone out but didn't ask/know where she had gone to but worried that she was late coming home so called the police...is that also 'responsible' for someone who has a 14yr old with a serious medical condition/taking medication..to not know where they are...which is possibly why I think that she also acknowledges her 'fault' and why this sentencing is so harsh and unjustified and why she defended his actions in court....

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by lostalex

if you have a law that says it's illegal for an adult to have sex with a 14 y/o, that means it applies to everyone equally. it doesn't matter what the CHILD said or lied about. it's the ADULT's job to do the right thing.

How is it that 99.9% of us adults don't have any trouble NOT having sex with 14 y/o's? you people are making it sound like it's such an easy mistake to make.

I saw a picture of a 14 year old UK Soapstar recently, and she looked 16/17, make-up can make girls look older than they actually are.

Of course there's no evidence to suggest that his innocent, but I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he was duped considering the girls Mother is even backing him up on this.

[Mystic Mock]

But yes if I ever have a Girlfriend they're gonna be the same age as me or older lol.

[lewis111]

Saying the guy is in the wrong because he should have known is like saying a shop has a stall up saying free samples, you take one, then the call the cops on you for shop lifting, but that's ok because you should have known

[lily.]

Originally Posted by lostalex

I don't understand why you say that. how is it clear that he didn't seek out underage girls to sleep with? That doesn't seem clear to me at all.

From the information in the OP, it seems pretty clear that the girl lied, and has admitted lying. Therefore she presented herself as a 17 year old girl. If he was looking for someone younger, why would he contact the one who claims to be 17? That was my thought process on the matter.

Originally Posted by lostalex

How is it that 99.9% of us adults don't have any trouble NOT having sex with 14 y/o's? you people are making it sound like it's such an easy mistake to make.

This is more common than you seem to think. It just doesn't get police attention. I could tell you off the top of my head of at least half a dozen underage kids who are hooking up with 18/19 yr old boys, and that's just where I live. Whether they are lying about their age or not, I couldn't say... but girls at the 14/15 age range often look older, act older, dress older... and try to hook up with older boys.. It's been happening since I was that age, and no doubt before that... and I'm 41... so I don't get how you think this is such a unique incident.

[user104658]

Does the girl actually, objectively, look 17 though? Does she have a fully sexually mature body? Was her make up and hair done well enough to make her seem older? Is she socially mature for 14, carrying herself like an older girl?

It's not possible to judge without knowing these things. I all of the above is the case then I can see how he ended up in this situation. But if the above is NOT the case - if she does seem young - then the fact that "she sed she were 17 officer, honest!" isn't really going to cut it as an excuse.

In general, though, youngsters DO need to be more cautious if they're having brief sexual encounters, especially arranged online. All sorts of ways that someone might not be who they claim to be. Older, younger, just a con-artist after money or anything else (well-off teens being duped into sending expensive "gifts" is not uncommon).

Anyway, dificult one to pass comment on without actually seeing the girl (made up as she would have been in her pictures and to meet him). And those won't be made available, sooo...

[Livia]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Does the girl actually, objectively, look 17 though? Does she have a fully sexually mature body? Was her make up and hair done well enough to make her seem older? Is she socially mature for 14, carrying herself like an older girl?

It's not possible to judge without knowing these things. I all of the above is the case then I can see how he ended up in this situation. But if the above is NOT the case - if she does seem young - then the fact that "she sed she were 17 officer, honest!" isn't really going to cut it as an excuse.

In general, though, youngsters DO need to be more cautious if they're having brief sexual encounters, especially arranged online. All sorts of ways that someone might not be who they claim to be. Older, younger, just a con-artist after money or anything else (well-off teens being duped into sending expensive "gifts" is not uncommon).

Anyway, dificult one to pass comment on without actually seeing the girl (made up as she would have been in her pictures and to meet him). And those won't be made available, sooo...

You could go and stand outside your local high school at chucking out time and have a good look at some of the Year 9s. I met someone's daughter recently and thought, wow she looks young to have a daughter of that age, thinking she was 19 or 20. She was 13! My jaw was on the ground.

[Wizard.]

It's unfortunate

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Livia

I imagine - and I hope - lawyers will be climbing over each other to handle his appeal because it will be high-profile and I hope damaging for the original judge.

Yeah, I hope so, this case and ruling sounds ridiculous. It makes a mockery of genuine cases of paedaphilia/statatory rape cases

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Livia

You could go and stand outside your local high school at chucking out time and have a good look at some of the Year 9s.

I keep trying but the staff have threatened to have me arrested .

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by lily.

From the information in the OP, it seems pretty clear that the girl lied, and has admitted lying. Therefore she presented herself as a 17 year old girl. If he was looking for someone younger, why would he contact the one who claims to be 17? That was my thought process on the matter.



This is more common than you seem to think. It just doesn't get police attention. I could tell you off the top of my head of at least half a dozen underage kids who are hooking up with 18/19 yr old boys, and that's just where I live. Whether they are lying about their age or not, I couldn't say... but girls at the 14/15 age range often look older, act older, dress older... and try to hook up with older boys.. It's been happening since I was that age, and no doubt before that... and I'm 41... so I don't get how you think this is such a unique incident.

so you are saying even you as a 41 y/o have been aware that some young girls lie about their age, and dress to look older... so there really is no excuse for this bloke to have not been aware that young girls lie. especially teenage girls. What man that's been alive for the last 30 years, let alone a 19 y/o who went to school with younger girls who looked much older. Of COURSE he knew that exists.

Is it enough of an excuse to say she lied? or did he just make sure she lied so he could get what HE wanted?

Since when is the blame to be put on kids instead of the adult???

[lily.]

Alex, we are not going to agree on this issue.

You could be 100% correct. Maybe he did know she was 14 and he is using the fact that she lied as his 'get out of jail free' card.

Or maybe he didn't know, and he was stupid enough to get duped.

I guess none of us really know which one it was.