[Ramsay]

Lol!

[Shaun]

thanks everyone!

[Stu]

Hillarious, sexy, well written, and not at all thought provoking.

Good stuff.

[Shaun]

It's very thought-provoking to write. For example, I pondered last night how fluffers would actually do their job.

[Smithy]

lmao, This is great shaun.

Niamhs will be hilarious

[Lewis.]

I really enjoyed reading that Shaun! It's brilliant! Well done, you're amazing at these stories

[Niamh.]

Oh me next YAY! You're a brilliant writter Shaun!

[Smithy]

Niamh stop sucking up

haha that works on so many levels

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Smithy

Niamh stop sucking up

haha that works on so many levels

hehehehehehe, just making sure he doesn't kill me off!

[Smithy]

Maybe you'll choke to death

[Iceman]

This is great, had me in stitches!

[Jessica.]

Sorry but that logo is rank!

[Shaun]

Yeah, well, so are you.

[Jessica.]

Originally Posted by Shaun

Yeah, well, so are you.

[MrGaryy]

pmsl, trufax.

[Smithy]

When do we get Niamh's Shaun ?

[Shaun]

I'll begin writing tonight - when family aren't lurking around to see me writing fictional pornography involving people I've never met.

[Z]

Originally Posted by Shaun

I'll begin writing tonight - when family aren't lurking around to see me writing fictional pornography involving people I've never met.

[Smithy]

lmfao

ok

[Shaun]

Niamh picked up the purple toothbrush, scrubbed the right and then the left, rinsed, dried her hair, put on her pinstripe suit and combed her hair back into a tight ponytail. She grabbed the keys, drove to a small café nearby and took out an orange juice, bagel and a muffin. Arriving at the Blow Me studios, she stopped and breathed it all in. Less than five months ago she had been a jobless, hopeless mess. She thought back to days when she'd lounge around the house in her pyjamas watching repeats of Will and Grace and playing with her navel - days when completing level 10 on Super Mario Bros. was an accomplishment.

"Morning, young Niamh." smiled a dapper Ramon, dressed from head to toe in a dazzling shade of green. His choice of suits always impressed Niamh.
"Hello, Sir!" she greeted warmly, as they walked to the reception.
"Niamh I need You to talk to that
Young Andy. He needs to get his Act together" Ramon declared as he sifted through Caitlin's memos. She looked up weakly from her position and offered a smile to Niamh.
"Oh, right, of course." Niamh nodded, remembering the fiasco on-set last week.
"Caitlin take my Coat and have it Pressed.
Like a good Bitch okay." Ramon trailed as he strolled into his office.
"Like a good bitch?" Niamh winced and Caitlin nodded sympathetically.
"You get used to it." She understood Arista's charms like clockwork - on her first day he'd made a point of her wearing pencil skirts from thereon in.

Niamh sat at her desk and dialed the number.
"Y-yes?" a nervous-sounding voice from the other line hesitated.
"Andy, this is Niamh. From Blow Me?" she put on her best reassuring voice and had a voice that could sooth even WOMBAI in the middle of a scrum.
"Oh." he didn't add anything further.
"Yeah, erm. Are you coming in today?" like butter would melt.
"Oh...well, I can't today, I'm...sick," he coughed suddenly, "but I'll definitely be in tomorrow."
"Aww, well, as long as you're healthy!" she cooed.
"Yeah, thanks." he hung up.
"Don't take their ****." Claudia interrupted, making Niamh jump.
"Oh! My goodness! You surprised me!" Niamh chuckled.
"No ****." Claudia trailed, and walked off rolling her eyes.

Niamh sat a little dumbstruck by Claudia's hostility. She hadn't done anything to her in her short time as an employee, in fact she'd barely spoken to her. She decided to get up and have a conversation with Dean.
"Oh, hi Niamh." he smiled, weighed down with a pile of complaints.
"Hey...wow, that's a lot." she noticed.
"Yeah - get this. 'I was most horrified to find your latest title, Cum Fuck With Me was bypassing the sware filter.' - what the Hell is a sware filter?!" he laughed in exasperation.
"God," Niamh sighed, "you'd think in a porn DVD the last thing they'd hate is a few swear words."
"Exactly!" Dean cried, "in the footage Sia alone screamed '**** me!' forty-two times!"
"Some people..." Niamh trailed as Claudia stepped up to the booth
"Hey Dean fancy a cof-" she noticed Niamh, "oh. Hi."
A look of utter contempt was dealt.
"Coffee?" Dean smiled and got up quickly, sensing tension. "I'll speak to you later, Niamh!" he waved and was practically dragged away.

2 hours later, Niamh was at her desk phoning through to the design section of Blow Me when Enid sat opposite her.
"Yeah, just put a star over Stu's dick. Yeah. Okay. Thanks, bye!" Niamh hurried. "Hey Enid, what can I do for you?" she smiled.
"Cut that sycophantic crap," Enid glared, "where do you get off exactly on flirting with coworkers?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Oh don't play dumb with me, I've been told you were practically all over Dean earlier."
"I was just talking to him..." Niamh whined, genuinely hurt.
"Well don't, okay? She...I...someone's interested in him, right, and I don't want you ruining that. Capiche?" Enid threw a look that would make HARRY2 look chipper.
She stormed off back to her set.
Niamh sat back in her chair. Well, she wasn't interested in Dean, that much was true. She thought who could be. Caitlin? No, she had a husband. Arista wouldn't surprise her. She looked across the open-plan office and her eyes fell upon Claudia, who was giggling at something Dean was complaining about.
"Oh." she realised.

Another hour later and it was time for lunch. Niamh put her heels back on and walked down the hallway to the front entrance - along the way Claudia, Caitlin and Linda were stood gossipping.
"Not going with Dean?" Linda taunted.
Right, Niamh thought, and she stopped immediately. She turned around, looked Claudia in the eye, and calmly uttered "a word."
Claudia raised an eyebrow but followed obediently, as Niamh suddenly shoved her into the staff toilets.
"Right, what is your ****ing problem?" Niamh raged.
"You, that's what" Claudia retaliated.
"Why? What have I done? I've done nothing to you!"
Claudia laughed
"Is this because of ****ing Dean?" Niamh sneered.
"Excuse me?" Claudia tried to play the unknown.
"Enid had a nice little chat with me. It doesn't take LeatherTrumpet to work out" Claudia sighed, with a TiBB reference that is sure to please the readers.
"Well, I didn't ask her t-"
"I don't give a ****. Stop hassling me." Niamh pushed past her and Claudia was left to her own devices.

Walking back into the building 45 minutes later, Niamh carried with her not only a brown paper bag with a muffin, but a renewed sense of self-esteem. She smiled, she was going to finish this silly squabble once and for all. She practically waltzed to her desk only to find her photographs and mug smashed. Written all over them in black marker were the words '*****' and 'slut' and she looked around, humiliated. Linda smirked and nudged Dean, who looked up questioningly at Niamh. Caitlin walked past and couldn't help but stare. Ramon emerged from his office.
"Tidy up please you Grubby
Cow." he ordered.
She had never been so embarrassed in her life. As Caitlin burst into giggles at Arista's treatment, and the rest of the office continued to stare, she felt herself turn red. She threw her muffin down and began to well up. She ran down the corridor and out of the building, feeling an intense injustice and shame.

An hour passed. Caitlin walked over to Dean and asked if he had seen Niamh.
"No, has anyone since she ran off?"
"No..."
"I'm going to go look for her. Arista was out of order." he sighed, and got up to look outside. He crossed the car park to see if she was sat in her car; she wasn't. He turned back to head inside and he saw a small fragile figure on the roof.
"Look who's laughing now!" a hysterical Niamh cried, as she swayed dangerously across a wooden beam connecting two of the buildings.
Caitlin, Linda, Claudia, Enid and Stuart all rushed outside to see the disturbance. Dean, however, ran back inside.
"Niamh stop fooling around!" Stu yelled.
"What the Hell are you doing?" Enid moaned.
"Shut up! All of you! Thinking you can call me slut and *****...you don't know anything about me...or maybe you do...who put you up to THIS?" she suddenly screamed in a moment of frenzy. An empty bottle of gin was thrown at Claudia's head - who luckily dodged it and it smashed without harming anyone.
"What are you talking about?" Enid cried.
"Who found out-" she began but suddenly lunged backwards - straight into Dean's arms.
"Let's get you down from here." he calmly assured her.
"No! Someone found out and I need to know who!" she seethed, spitting manically.
"Found out what?"
"I...I didn't want to, I had to, I was forced-" she stuttered
"To do what?"
"I sold myself Dean", she was whispering now like a child telling a secret, "my daddy told me I had to..." she was sobbing silently and Dean didn't know what to say. He took her through the building safely and whispered to Arista that he would drive her home.

Claudia stared as Dean placated and reassured a whimpering Niamh into his car. He didn't look at her as he drove past, and she didn't like that one bit.
Niamh fell into a deep sleep. She wouldn't remember this car-journey home and she wouldn't remember anything else until the next morning.

[Z]

Poor Niamh!! Even if she was a prostitute -glares-, Claudia, Enid, Caitlin and Linda - you should be ashamed of your fictional selves!! Very good Shaun, I enjoyed that!

[GypsyGoth]

It's great fun to read Shaun.

Originally Posted by Zee

Poor Niamh!! Even if she was a prostitute -glares-, Claudia, Enid, Caitlin and Linda - you should be ashamed of your fictional selves!!

The biatch better stay away from my man.

[lily.]

Originally Posted by Zee

Poor Niamh!! Even if she was a prostitute -glares-, Claudia, Enid, Caitlin and Linda - you should be ashamed of your fictional selves!! Very good Shaun, I enjoyed that!

We are.. we feel just fictionally awful s0b

[Princess]

Poor Niamh

[Tom4784]

"Tidy up please you Grubby
Cow." he ordered.



Good chapter, poor Niamh but luckily my fictional self is amazing.