[Candy Annie Cane]

I never drink to get drunk when my son is at home but I'll have the odd glass of wine at weekends. He stays at mums if I'm going out. I was a bit worried though when he asked me recently if he had to be 6 to drink wine. He smelt a bottle if beer once too and said mmmm that smells yummy.

[user104658]

I doubt they'd be at any sort of risk with only a couple, however I certainly don't think theres any NEED to be consuming alcohol, especially if you've been left in charge of someone else's children.

For parents, I'd say a couple occasionally / on an occasion like new years, birthdays, Valentine's day etc. Is totally fine but I think it's... Questionable... If it's every night or even several times a week. Or even every weekend. I don't think regular alcohol consumption should be as normalised as it is.

[Candy Annie Cane]

My son is my life...but if I want a glass of wine on a Saturday night when he is safe in his bed, I will have one, I can't see what is questionable about that.

[Roy Mars III]

when i used to stay with my grandmother she used to have me make all her drinks for her while she watching soaps on tv. i can make a mean black Russian

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by 08marsh

Yeah, let's leave bad parents out of the discussion and stick to talking about responsible alcoholic ones.

Ahem.... like me.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

My son is my life...but if I want a glass of wine on a Saturday night when he is safe in his bed, I will have one, I can't see what is questionable about that.

There's nothing wring with wanting a glass of wine on a Saturday night. There is something questionable about "needing" a glass of wine several times a week or most nights "to relax", as is the case in far too many households (of all social classes) up and down the country. In my opinion, of course.

[Candy Annie Cane]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

There's nothing wring with wanting a glass of wine on a Saturday night. There is something questionable about "needing" a glass of wine several times a week or most nights "to relax", as is the case in far too many households (of all social classes) up and down the country. In my opinion, of course.

Ah I see, apologies I misunderstood you and got on my high horse Sorry

[ChristmasNeeve]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

My son is my life...but if I want a glass of wine on a Saturday night when he is safe in his bed, I will have one, I can't see what is questionable about that.

Too right AnnieK

[user104658]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Ah I see, apologies I misunderstood you and got on my high horse Sorry

It's alright, the whole thing is a sensitive topic for me... I try to stay objective, but I'm probably not

[Jack_]

I didn't think the question was about looking after your own children though, since they're your responsibility anyway so you can do what you see fit. I took the question to be about being asked to look after other people's children and whether drinking under those circumstances would be acceptable.

Personally I can't imagine myself being asked to babysit, sitting down and thinking to myself 'ah I know, I'll just crack open a can'...I mean there's a time and a place surely? I couldn't ever imagine myself wanting a drink at that moment, seems a bit pointless

[joeysteele]

I have no children obviously but I have looked after nephew's and Nieces and even great Nephew's and Nieces at times.

I never have had a drink when doing so and wouldn't still now on the rare occasions I do look after any for any length of time.

If I had children of my own, I think I would feel the same, just best not to.

[InOne]

My mum was an alcoholic and speed addict when I was growing up so was pretty much palmed off to my grandma most of the time. Which I don't mind because she looked properly after me.

Alcohol and kids don't work ever because when you're playing with a kid drunk you don't realise the force you're using and basically you can end up throwing them around far to hard and hurting them. I saw it in one of those alcohol awareness adverts when NZ he was swinging the kid around drunk and threw him right into the table. One of those that stuck with me

[Kizzy]

Youtube video

I was a monster raised by a monster.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Youtube video

I was a monster raised by a monster.

The video seems dramatic but thinking about it, it seems fairly accurate. For some children (including myself), anyway. Like I said above I'm not sure if I'm the most objective person on this topic. My mother is literally, right now, in hospital, weeks / days from alcohol-related death. Today is her 60th birthday. It makes me wonder if I have a tendancy to color the entire issue with my own hang-ups.

BUT, watching that video just reminded me really vividly of how I felt about drunk adults as a younger child. My mum didn't develop a drinking problem until I was around 13/14. However, I very strongly remember my parents occasionally having dinner parties etc. and finding drunk adults ... odd. To say the least. I found them scary. They didn't behave like themselves and I didn't understand why. They looked misty-eyed and nostalgic in a disconcerting way, they'd ruffle my hair or pinch a cheek in the way that only seems like "the thing to do" when drunk. They'd laugh too much at things that weren't all that funny, and become intensely patronising about completely normal things that children do... hmm. Yeah. Alcohol in even small amounts alters moods and behaviours and children have no way of understanding it at all.

And given that there should be plenty of ways to make opportunities to drink responsibly in the company of adults... there shouldn't really be any need to be drinking at home.

My mother's alcohol issues haven't turned me tee-total, I still occasionally go out for a drink with friends (admittedly very occasionally these days, two kids under 5 plus working 13 hour shifts every weekend = not much of any sort of life ) but yeah... I don't think I'll ever be comfortable getting drunk around my children. Not until they're adolescents and beyond, anyway.

[reece(:]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

There's nothing wring with wanting a glass of wine on a Saturday night. There is something questionable about "needing" a glass of wine several times a week or most nights "to relax", as is the case in far too many households (of all social classes) up and down the country. In my opinion, of course.

This is always the case with my mum, granted I'm 18 now though.

[Kizzy]

I'm so sorry about your mum, it's strange how things change isn't it?
I think that's when I noticed the change in my mum too 13-14, she would get maudlin and very bitter about the past then she would create an argument or a drama over nothing.... and that was it, carnage....
I never touched alcohol hardly ever till I was in my mid 20's, then like some warped film I started to replay her life, fast forward 15yrs and I managed to quit.. don't ask me how.
'Functioning' is the word they use, not drinking to oblivion or through the day but like some hellish ritual it was groundhog day, 9pm daily..... there it was.

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Yeah I would have a monitor with me, otherwise I'd be telling everyone to shut up every two minutes and asking them if they heard the baby crying

Sounds like my auntie. Every time we go around to her house and we're sat in the living room, every 5 seconds she's all "Sssh" then ear in the air trying to listen for the slightest noise "Did you hear a cry?".

Babies send women crazy.

[Nedusa]

Wouldn't you need a drink or two if you were looking after noisy screaming kids.

[Candy Annie Cane]

Originally Posted by 08marsh

Sounds like my auntie. Every time we go around to her house and we're sat in the living room, every 5 seconds she's all "Sssh" then ear in the air trying to listen for the slightest noise "Did you hear a cry?".

Babies send women crazy.

My brother and his wife were like that and their kids are terribly light sleepers even now - you weren't even meant to flush the loo if you used the upstairs bathroom.

My son could sleep through a small bomb going off but I think that's because we never tried to be really quiet once he was asleep - just carried on as normal.

[lostalex]

This thread reminds me of the episode of Roseanne when she get's high and DJ comes home.

Youtube video