[abhorson]

Originally Posted by chuff me dizzy

Never ,and IF I was it would be my family not strangers

That is where you lose. Because most of the compassionate and tolerant carers are not family members.

This is just a dislike of an HM.

[jaxie]

Originally Posted by chuff me dizzy

Never ,and IF I was it would be my family not strangers

How can you possibly know that. You can't predict the future even your own.

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by jaxie

How can you possibly know that. You can't predict the future even your own.

And neither can you ,this is about Busey not me

[jet]

Originally Posted by Josy

I don't even think illness or injuries or even age comes into, I don't think James should speak down to anyone like that and at the same time insult them and complain that they are rude when he is being rude too.

So if someone is rude you shouldn't ever be rude back?
If someone continually ignores a request (like not butting in) which is an insult to you in itself, you shouldn't insult them back?

Not saying James was right, but it seems like you have forgotten Gary's role in this.

If it was George or Audley, instead of Gary, would it be okay to keep butting in (when asked not to over and over) when they heard their name, instead of waiting for them to finish speaking?

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by jet

So if someone is rude you shouldn't ever be rude back?
If someone continually ignores a request (like not butting in) which is an insult to you in itself, you shouldn't insult them back?

Not saying James was right, but it seems like you have forgotten Gary's role in this.

If it was George or Audley, instead of Gary, would it be okay to keep butting in (when asked not to over and over) when they heard their name, instead of waiting for them to finish speaking?

As I asked yesterday if it were Rikki,George or any of the other young ones leaving the loo filthy, spitting on the floor and bedding ,not showering,walking about flashing their tackle in front of the girls and being bone idle would it still be ok ?

[abhorson]

Originally Posted by jet

So if someone is rude you shouldn't ever be rude back?
If someone continually ignores a request (like not butting in) which is an insult to you in itself, you shouldn't insult them back?

Not saying James was right, but it seems like you have forgotten Gary's role in this.

If it was George or Audley, instead of Gary, would it be okay to keep butting in (when asked not to over and over) when they heard their name, instead of waiting for them to finish speaking?

Jet.

I am only 39 and looked after an 84 year old for three years who was constantly rude to me.

I understood the condition. This is the ignorance.

[Josy]

Originally Posted by jet

So if someone is rude you shouldn't ever be rude back?
If someone continually ignores a request (like not butting in) which is an insult to you in itself, you shouldn't insult them back?

Not saying James was right, but it seems like you have forgotten Gary's role in this.

If it was George or Audley, instead of Gary, would it be okay to keep butting in (when asked not to over and over) when they heard their name, instead of waiting for them to finish speaking?

In this instance I don't think Gary was being very rude when James was discussing him to start with.

I haven't forgotten Gary's role at all and have mentioned throughout this thread that butting in is rude but you seem to completely ignore those parts of peoples posts and continue saying people don't blame Gary for anything.

And to answer your question no it wouldn't be okay to KEEP butting in to anyones conversations but if that conversation is about you which this one was and you are sitting right there then I don't see it as being rude enough to deserve a long winded rant from James telling you that you are being rude whilst being completely rude about you during it.

This feels like ti's going round in circles tbh.

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Josy

no it wouldn't be okay to KEEP butting in to anyones conversations but if that conversation is about you which this one was and you are sitting right there then I don't see it as being rude enough to deserve a long winded rant from James telling you that you are being rude whilst being completely rude about you during it.

[jet]

Originally Posted by Josy

In this instance I don't think Gary was being very rude when James was discussing him to start with.

I haven't forgotten Gary's role at all and have mentioned throughout this thread that butting in is rude but you seem to completely ignore those parts of peoples posts and continue saying people don't blame Gary for anything.

And to answer your question no it wouldn't be okay to KEEP butting in to anyones conversations but if that conversation is about you which this one was and you are sitting right there then I don't see it as being rude enough to deserve a long winded rant from James telling you that you are being rude whilst being completely rude about you during it.

This feels like ti's going round in circles tbh.

Sorry Josy, I hadn't seen some of your previous posts were you said that. This thread is moving too fast!

[jaxie]

Originally Posted by jet

So if someone is rude you shouldn't ever be rude back?
If someone continually ignores a request (like not butting in) which is an insult to you in itself, you shouldn't insult them back?

Not saying James was right, but it seems like you have forgotten Gary's role in this.

If it was George or Audley, instead of Gary, would it be okay to keep butting in (when asked not to over and over) when they heard their name, instead of waiting for them to finish speaking?

Fair enough, we didn't see what went before. So on the live feed last night when Gary was trying to clear up and was been mocked by 4 or 5 other housemates just a few feet away, how was he being rude to 'deserve' such retribution? Let's hear you justify that.

[jet]

Originally Posted by jaxie

Fair enough, we didn't see what went before. So on the live feed last night when Gary was trying to clear up and was been mocked by 4 or 5 other housemates just a few feet away, how was he being rude to 'deserve' such retribution? Let's hear you justify that.

Why would I justify that? Gary was doing nothing wrong at all. Some of them were being horrible, especially George saying he didn't think he was coming into an old peoples home. Utterly disgraceful!

[Pincho Paxton]

Originally Posted by jet

So if someone is rude you shouldn't ever be rude back?
If someone continually ignores a request (like not butting in) which is an insult to you in itself, you shouldn't insult them back?

Not saying James was right, but it seems like you have forgotten Gary's role in this.

If it was George or Audley, instead of Gary, would it be okay to keep butting in (when asked not to over and over) when they heard their name, instead of waiting for them to finish speaking?

It isn't rude to hear your name, and ask what someone was saying. The only rude person in that case seemed to be James. But if James didn't say the words 'Gary'... then it might be an interruption.

[Josy]

Right keep to the topic in here and stop making the thread about other members

[Patricia4]

If I heard my name mentioned when two people were talking I would of interrupted too to find out what was being said.
James love's his own voice and love's to make people look small he's a big tw*t.

[abhorson]

Originally Posted by Patricia4

If I heard my name mentioned when two people were talking I would of interrupted too to find out what was being said.
James love's his own voice and love's to make people look small he's a big tw*t.

Poor Ola.

[Tip]

Originally Posted by Patricia4

If I heard my name mentioned when two people were talking I would of interrupted too to find out what was being said.
James love's his own voice and love's to make people look small he's a big tw*t.

If I didn't hear the rest of what was being said, I probably would too. However, there's ways and means of doing that, and Gary shouting "Hey Hey Hey" (if that is what he did) is something people have told him over and over that they find annoying.

Housemates, rightly or wrongly, don't tend to put Gary's lack of social finesse down to brain damage or disability.

James has a short fuse and loses it - and as is often the case when tempers are lost, goes over the top. If Gary was capable of approaching this differently then I think James quite probably wouldn't lose it in quite this way. As it is, it appears both of them lack something here.

[abhorson]

Originally Posted by Tip

If I didn't hear the rest of what was being said, I probably would too. However, there's ways and means of doing that, and Gary shouting "Hey Hey Hey" (if that is what he did) is something people have told him over and over that they find annoying.

Housemates, rightly or wrongly, don't tend to put Gary's lack of social finesse down to brain damage or disability.

James has a short fuse and loses it - and as is often the case when tempers are lost, goes over the top. If Gary was capable of approaching this differently then I think James quite probably wouldn't lose it in quite this way. As it is, it appears both of them lack something here.

You could tell a person with a brain injury ten million times. It would make no difference. Just too ignorant of this.

It can frustrate though, granted.

[Tip]

Originally Posted by abhorson

You could tell a person with a brain injury ten million times. It would make no difference. Just too ignorant of this.

It can frustrate though, granted.

It could well be that Gary's brain injury is the reason but we don't actually know that.

I've looked after people with brain injuries too, and they all had pretty unique behavioural problems.

If it was definitively the case that it was brain injury causing Gary to behave in certain ways, then BB would be doing everyone a favour if they made that known.

[jet]

Originally Posted by Tip

It could well be that Gary's brain injury is the reason but we don't actually know that.

I've looked after people with brain injuries too, and they all had pretty unique behavioural problems.

If it was definitively the case that it was brain injury causing Gary to behave in certain ways, then BB would be doing everyone a favour if they made that known.

I agree. I think it would be essential that they make that known. Imagine the HM's coming out and finding it was the brain injury making him behave like that and they didn't know. I imagine they would be furious that they weren't told and just thought he was a rude and aggravating old so - and - so who was riling them up on purpose and they looked really bad for not understanding...

So maybe his brain injury doesn't affect him in those ways as they HM's are tested before going in there. I wish we knew one way or the other as it could change our perceptions, and the HM's too of course.

[jessicadanielle]

Originally Posted by Tip

If I didn't hear the rest of what was being said, I probably would too. However, there's ways and means of doing that, and Gary shouting "Hey Hey Hey" (if that is what he did) is something people have told him over and over that they find annoying.

Housemates, rightly or wrongly, don't tend to put Gary's lack of social finesse down to brain damage or disability.

James has a short fuse and loses it - and as is often the case when tempers are lost, goes over the top. If Gary was capable of approaching this differently then I think James quite probably wouldn't lose it in quite this way. As it is, it appears both of them lack something here.

Yep really well said! It's hard to judge, since we're not sure if Gary just interrupted or rudely interrupted (I do believe there is a difference), but it seems they both lack a regard for others in some ways. I think the reason that Gary is perceived better than James (in general) is because he doesn't become condescending, nasty, offensive, loud or bad-tempered, and he doesn't walk away afterwards and talk about people behind their backs. Further, Gary shows more willing to change than James from what we've seen so far. There is also the whole brain damage thing which does seem to play a role in Gary's behaviour.

[JoshBB]

James is a piece of **** basically and he's making the whole house stink of his bitterness. We need him out.

[abhorson]

I really think the the clue is in not reacting/ biting back, back stabbing, slagging off, getting angry, OTT reactions. This is not normal BB behaviour.

Either that or he deserves TEN Oscars.

[Tip]

Originally Posted by abhorson

I really think the the clue is in not reacting/ biting back, back stabbing, slagging off, getting angry, OTT reactions. This is not normal BB behaviour.

Either that or he deserves TEN Oscars.

Yep that could well be a clue.

But some people just think he is spiritually superior -

[abhorson]

Originally Posted by Tip

Yep that could well be a clue.

But some people just think he is spiritually superior -

That puts me right off too. but i put it down to brain damage

[Jules2]

Originally Posted by Tip

Yep that could well be a clue.

But some people just think he is spiritually superior -

He certainly has a knowledge of spiritual things but it doesnt make him superior. If we all sat in class and were taught geography, I would be hopeless whereas another being would be top of the class. I wouldnt deem that person superior though. Everything imo depends on what we want to learn, many resort to religion and think they have the true answers etc. etc. Gary just wants to learn more and more and once a truth has been shown it is hard to let it go. At the time it is our own truth, I have many, the same as others. Nevertheless none of us is superior. It is all life.