[Tom4784]

Rofl! (insert my Cheryl Cole laugh here)

[CaraRawr]

lmao that's brilliant! thanks for the part, it was qt.

[Billy]

lmao i cant get over how amazing this is!

[LemonJam]

Thanks guys Y'all are too kind.

[Stephanie]

Mark: Lewis, I'm really happy for you, I'm gonna let you finish, BUT JOEL MCLEAN HAD ONE OF THE BEST PERFORMANCES OF ALL TIME sad/

LMFAO

loving all my parts in this aswell aha thanks

[Harry!]

lol my fave episode so far. Loved the controversey reference. Fab!

[lily.]

I love how it's taken all the traits we have and exaggerated them .. It's hilarious.

[Stephanie]

[Braden]

This is all very interesting.
Your very talented LemonJam !

[Jords]

I look forward to these, great job LJ!

Im a Twilight Twitty fan gurls, woop woop

[MarkWaldorf]

i can't read this because my character makes me cringe lmfao!

[Damaris]

Haha thanks LJ!

This is great!

[LemonJam]

Thanks luvvies. :')

[Twilight]

OMFG i'm in love<3

[Z]

Amazing! I laughed out loud so much, keep them coming

[Jen]

It's amaze (:

[Tom4784]

Rofl, I just realised It's ANOTHER story where James and Jen don't work out

[Shaun]

lmfao at the Stickings act...she was robbed

[Callum]

LOL @ Mark's character.

[Jords]

Whens the next one LJ, after New Year?

[LemonJam]

Originally Posted by Jords

Whens the next one LJ, after New Year?

I need to get coursework back on track; I have 3 major art pieces to finish, a Graphics project and lots and lots of stuff to do for music universitys (scores, practicing etc)

I'll get back on track with this later, sorry. Should be back January 4thish.

[Jords]

Originally Posted by LemonJam

I need to get coursework back on track; I have 3 major art pieces to finish, a Graphics project and lots and lots of stuff to do for music universitys (scores, practicing etc)

I'll get back on track with this later, sorry. Should be back January 4thish.

Okay dokey! Good luck with your coursework! I got some to do too

[InOne]

Love it, but still not in it

[LemonJam]

3 months later, LemonJam got jealous of these creative writing projects and decided to **** the coursework and waste his time. Bliss. ITS BACK.

Episode 5, Scene 1; School

[Kelly Rowlands 'Work' begins to play. Gary is sat in English class checking her make-up. She smiles over at InOne who looks at her then continues with his work. The bell rings and Inone leaves his seat, Gary stands up from her seat in Inones way]

Gary: Excuse me, I never caught your name.
InOne: I'm not interested
Gary: Hey, I'm just talking to you!
InOne: Yeah, it all begins with talking, then 10 STDs later you'll have forgotten my name. *****.

[He budges past her, as she has a shocked look on her face. The bell rings and Gary struts off to the picnic table outside.]

Greg: Hai!
Gary: Greg, why're you here? You're not in education
Greg: To say hai?
Gary: Get out.

[Greg leaves abruptly]

Jen: What's wrong Gary?
Gary: Some bitch has been spreading rumours that I'm some sort of slut.
Hugo: ;O Who would do that?
Linda: It was Hugo
Hugo: OMG Linda, you're such a vile person, get out GET OUT.

[Shaun breaks out into JoJo's Get Out with Dean and Rory as backup dancers]

Hugo: SHAUN SIT THE **** DOWN
Gary: Don't tell him what to do? He's not your slave.
Hugo: No, but Rory is 2baha

[Rory is cooking Hugo another batch of Stir fried noodles and kung pao chicken]

Hugo: Anyway, my influential powers should help me when I'm headgirl qt~
Gary: YOU'RE running for headgirl?
Hugo: Duh, and I know you are, so I'm tarnishing your image however I can.

[She gets up and leaves]

Jen: What a Shattock.
Dean: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Scene 2 - In a taxi

[Gary gets into a taxi, she takes her sunglasses off and holds her head.]

setanta: Where to Gary?
Gary: Just take me home sad/

[Setanta begins to drive off, knowing where Garys home is after numerous taxi rides home]

setanta: So why the long face sugartits?
Gary: Everyones being a bitch to me, like my bff Hugo is trying to tarnish my image so that she can be headgirl.
setanta: Was that the cute one in the short dress?
Gary: Hugo Montag doesn't get taxis. Hugo Montag travels by limozine. She's one rich bitch.
setanta: Have you thought about knocking her down a peg or two? You're usually really good at finding out secrets, I mean remember when you found out Mark's gay?

[Linda gets up from the front seat]

Linda: MARK'S GAY?!?! ah/
Gary: Linda, why the **** are you here?
Linda: I rag taxi drivers for drug money.

[Jen appears next to Gary]

Jen: Controversial.
Gary: Okay everyone who's not going to my house get out right now.

[Shaun, Rory and Dean appear at the back and begin singing and dancing to JoJo's 'Get Out']

Gary: HARRY

Scene 3 - Garys room

[Gary is at home on her silk sheets trying to write her headgirl speech. It currently says;]

I think that a headgirl should...

[She stares at the screen for a while then begins typing]

... be a fierce bitch.

[She gives up and signs onto msn. A conversation with Twilight opens.]

Twilight says:
hey
Gary says:
hey girl, how're you?
Twilight says:
ugh, still embarrased by Marks performance at the Sheppys Got Talent show, you?
Gary says:
LOL, he's sucha hot mess
Twilight says:
IFKR
Gary says:
Ugh, I'm trying to write my headgirl speech, any pointers? I mean after all your nobel peace prize speech was beautiful s0b
Twilight says:
IFKR, I mean, whatever you write make sure you mean every word you say
Gary says:
And what about campaigns.
Twilight says:
Just do what you do best gurl x
Gary says:
Got it.

[Gary signs off msn and searches 'Hugo Montag' into google. She smiles to herself.]

[Scene 3 - School]

[Hugo, Gary and Enid are sat next to each other on the school stage. Everybody is sat down in front of them]

Mrs Pinkmichk: Okay class calm down... calm down.

[Everybody continues talking. Pinkmichk looks to the side and nods. Tyra Banks comes running on and screams into the microphone.

Tyra: STOP IT!

[The hall falls silent]

Tyra: I AIN'T NEVER IN MY LIFE YELLED AT A CLASS OF INTERNET REJECTS IN AN INCONSISTENT STORYLINE LIKE THIS!
Mrs Pinkmichk: Thanks Tyra

[Tyra walks off glaring at the class]

Mrs Pinkmichk: Okay guys, we're voting for our headgirl today, it's between Hugo Montag, Gary Port and Enid... Jones. Enid if you'd like to take the stand first.

[Enid stands up and takes the stand]

Enid: Hi, I'm Enid and I wanna make a few changes around this place, first things first, no Twilight Twitty will be mentioned around the school
Jords: [In the crowd] YOU ****ING WHAT?!

[A glass smashes and the Twilight Twitty fans storm the stage, dragging her off.]

Mrs Pinkmichk: Erm, okay, next to speak, Miss Hugo Montag

[Hugo takes the stand -the lights dim and the piano intro to Adeles 'Hometown Glory' begins to play]

Hugo: Round my hometown, memories are fresh,
Round my hometown, ohh, the people I've met
Are the wonders of my world, are the wonders of my world
Are the wonders of this world, are the wonders and now.
s0b

[The crowd applauses with a standing auvation. Smithy is so overwhelmed he begins to cry]

MattBlake: Pfft, Rachel Rice was better

[Tyra appears from underneath the chair.]

Tyra: MattBlake, I'm extremely disapointed in you.
MattBlake: s0b
Mrs Pinkmichk: Thank you very much Hugo, that was beautiful. Gary if you'd like to try follow that?

[Gary goes up to the stand]

Gary: Screen up please b/mo

[The techies lower the screen]

Gary: A wise woman once said 'Life is a cabaret old chum, so come to the cabaret.' This woman was Liza Minelli, a woman that Hugo very much admires, but to what extent?

[Gary clicks a button to show a slide on the screen showing a bald Hugo applying makeup with a wigstand on the side]

Gary: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the cabaret that is TOM SHATTOCK
Hugo: brity/

[The whole room errupts with laughter. Hugo rushes outside]

[Scene 4 - Outside]

[The Twilight fans are all in a circle, Stephs hands are covered in blood]

Stephanie: omgomgomgomg what do we do?
Jords: We've got rid of the body there's nothing else we can do now
Jack_: Shame we had to get rid of it... I mean it was just lieing there... with boobs.

[A long awkward silence occurs]

Damaris: Oh you are SO going to hell.
Recylopse: Quick, someones coming!

[They run away, Hugo comes running out the school. She gets her phone out of her purse.]

Hugo: Mum... we have to move away.............NOW ah/



Scene 5 - An Airport

[Hometown Glory - Hugo Montag begins to play. Hugo is sat in an airport on her laptop, deleting her facebook, last.fm, twitter, myspace, bebo (who uses that **** anymore? srsly?) She decides last minute to take her phone out]

[Mark is sat in his bed at home, still teary from the Sheppys Got Talent incident. He receives a message on his phone and is quick to answer it.]

Dear Mark,

[Hugo begins walking towards a private jet, she wears her sunglasses as her hair flows back in the wind]

I can't begin to tell you how much you've meant to me as a friend
Although I don't say it much, I'm going to miss you.

[Hugo steps onto the steps]

And although we're both now complete messes

[Hugo looks back at the airport]

We're the damn hottest messes that ever happened in this small town

[She turns back and gets into the jet]

and remember...life is a cabaret old chum... so come to the cabaret...

[The jet takes off into the sun.]

s0b

Skins.

[Jack_]

I love this sfm. Excellent work, LJ. And thanks for my part again

Originally Posted by LemonJam

Stephanie: omgomgomgomg what do we do?
Jords: We've got rid of the body there's nothing else we can do now
Jack_: Shame we had to get rid of it... I mean it was just lieing there... with boobs.

[A long awkward silence occurs]

Damaris: Oh you are SO going to hell.
Recylopse: Quick, someones coming!

pmsl.

Originally Posted by LemonJam

[Hometown Glory - Hugo Montag begins to play. Hugo is sat in an airport on her laptop, deleting her facebook, last.fm, twitter, myspace, bebo (who uses that **** anymore? srsly?) She decides last minute to take her phone out]